comedy

There were two cows in a field. One said: “Moo.”

The other cow said: “I was going to say that!”

Source

A guy shows up to work at 9 a.m. The boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8.30!”

The guy says, “Why? What happened at 8.30?”

Source

My friend ask me to round up her 4 cats.

I said, “Five.”

How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is it one or two? One… or two?

Small child: ” Dad, can you put my shoes on?”

Dad: Sorry son, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Did you hear about the near-sighted porcupine?

He fell in love with a pincushion.

Source

Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

Source

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh more.

So what if I don’t know what “Armageddon” means?

It’s not the end of the world.