Ever been trapped at a watch party where everyone’s cheering for the team you can’t stand—and your team is getting clobbered like a piñata at a toddler’s birthday? I have. And I brought an exit strategy so slick, the CIA is jealous.
Here’s part of the conversation I had with my friend. There will be somethings I was thinking but did not say to my friend. I will put these thoughts in parentheses.
My friend: “Yes! Yes! Yes! Touchdown.”
Me: (One yes would have been sufficient). That was a good pass.”
My friend: “You’ve got no defense. We can do this play all day.”
Me: (I’m not play, fool, nor are you. We’re only spectators). Hopefully, they’ll make an adjustment at half time.
My friend: “I’m not worried. Our coach is best in the country.”
Me: (What excuse can I make to leave at half time.). “He’s good, maybe the pros will snap him up.”
My Friend: “I don’t think they can. He loves beating you guys. I hope we try an on side kick.. The more points the better.”
Me: (I’d like to try an onside kick against the side of your head. I know what I’ll do. I’ll text my daughter my secret word. She’ll call me and I’ll say I have a family emergiency. E A G L E, send).
My friend: “What are you doing with your iPhone?”
Me: “Checking out the other scores. Hey, it looks like we’re about to score.” (Please, please, please answer my secret word).
My friend: “No way, we’re too good on defense. Is that your phone?”
Me: “That’s my daughter’s ringtone. I’ll only take a second. Let me know what happens. “Hello. No. No. Uh huh. I can’t believe it. Okay, I’m on it. (I owe you one, Angie). “Sorry, family emergency. I”ve got to run. This was fun. Thanks for inviting me. We’ll have to do it again .”(Not in my lifetime).