Chapter 4
Nick slipped on his dark hoodie. He walked out of the house without saying goodbye. He heard his mother call and say, “Wear your winter coat, it’s cold.”
Then he heard his father say, “Leave him alone. He’s got to work through the change in his plans. He’ll be okay.”
Nick thought, “No, I won’t be okay. I’ll never get the scholarship.”
He looked at the night sky and wondered if anybody really cared about him. He wondered if his parents even tried to understand him. He felt angry. He wanted scream at the top of his lungs, but suppressed the desire, he knew he’d be making trouble for himself. Five minutes later he was standing in front of Martini’s Deli. Tino was behind the counter waiting on a policeman.
Nick stood outside. He was cold, the night temperature dropped to near thirty and a brisk wind kicked in. Nick remembered hearing about a cold front coming down from Canada. His hands were cold, he blew on them. He started jumping up and down to stay warm. Then he heard a voice.
“Hey, Nicky. You cold. Take this and put it around your neck.”
Nick turned and saw Johnny Balboni handing him a wore scarf.
“Thanks Johnny. I can’t take it, it’s yours,” said Nick.
Johnny came a step closer, “No, you take it. I want you to have it. It’s my best one. But you stood up for me today. If I was thirty years younger, they wouldn’t have bothered me. But now, now is different. I’m not as strong as I used to be.”
Nick didn’t want the scarf, but he took it and wrapped it around his neck the way Johnny wanted him to wrap it.
“There, you feel better. I bet you not so cold now. Tell me the truth, you happy Johnny gave you his scarf?”
Nick did feel warmer. Okay, he wasn’t a fashion plate but the 18 degree wind chill didn’t feel quite as bad as it did a few minutes before. He looked at Johnny, still wearing his old fedora and giving him his broad smile showing mostly gums and few teeth. Nick said, “I feel much better, Johnny. I’ll drop it by your place tomorrow.”
“No. It’s yours Nick. I want you to have it. You know where I got this scarf. I’ll tell you. A long time ago, I had a girlfriend. I used to be good looking in those days. She gave me this scarf for Christmas. It was the best gift I ever had. I know she would want you to have it.”
Nick stared at Johnny. He couldn’t picture Johnny ever being good looking.
Johnny said, “I gotta go. See you around, Nick.”
Johnny picked up his black plastic trash bag, one-third filled with aluminum cans, tugged on the brim of his fedora and headed up the alley between Martini’s Deli and Eddie’s Barbershop. Nick was watching him when he heard the deli door open.
“You gonna stand out there all night. Your dad called and said you was on your way,” Tino Martini sounded more like a Marine drill sergeant than a deli owner.
Nick followed Tino into the deli. He took a quick glance for the policeman. Only Tino and he were in the deli. Nick surmised the policeman left while he was talking with Johnny.
Tino went behind the counter and Nick stood in front of the counter. Tino was a big guy. Not big in the way of a basketball player, but big in the way of looking like he could pick up a two-hundred pound bag of sand and toss it like it was filled with air. Tino’s arms were covered with black hair.
Tino wiped his hands on his apron, then he placed his hands, palm down on the counter and bent forward. He said, “I’m doing your dad a favor. I owe him, now we’re even. Don’t ask him about the favor. I also like what you did earlier today taking up of Johnny. He don’t hurt nobody. These are my rules. While you work here, you don’t play on your phone or your computer. I don’t care if there is nobody in here. I find out, you’re done. Understand?”
Nick nodded.
“Here’s another thing. You gonna work from two in the afternoon to ten at night on Saturday and Sunday. That’s when I normally close. I’ll show up to take the cash. You’re going to clean up and then leave. It will take about an hour. If you work out on the weekends, maybe I’ll give a few nights during the week.”
Nick nodded.
“You got any questions?”
“Okay if I start next weekend?”
“No. You start tomorrow. I’m going to take Janet out. We ain’t been to a movie in years.”
“Okay. Thanks for work, Mr. Martini,” said Nick. He didn’t mean it.
“Don’t mention it. Tell your father I said hello.”
“Okay.” Nick walked out of the deli. His heart felt as heavy as a ship’s anchor. Some Christmas he thought. He gave the scarf another wrap around his neck, stuck his hands in his jean’s pockets and headed toward home.
Just when Nick thought his day couldn’t get worse, it got worse.
What we seek, we usually find. Psychologists tell us where we place our attention becomes our reality. If you and I could focus our attention on our dreams and block out as many distractions as possible, we have a chance of catching our dream. The power of attention is within us. We have to decide what is important in our lives and measure it against the distractions. Are we giving our distractions power over our dreams? Perhaps it is time to take control of our attention. Enjoy the following entertaining YouTube video on attention.
Chapter 3
Nick went around to the back of his home. It was one of the ground rules for Nick and his two younger sisters. Nick was six years older than Laura and eight years older than Stella. Laura was in middle school and Stella in elementary school.
Nick scuffed his shoes on the outdoor mat, another ground rule and opened the door. His mom stood in front of the stove working on dinner. Nick knew what he was having for dinner before he opened the door. It was Friday and Friday’s were always the same, the family was having bean soup. That’s what Nick called it. His mom and dad called it pasta fagioli.
“Hi mom,” Nick said taking off his backpack and setting it on a chair. He walked to the refrigerator, opened the door and stared into it.
“Don’t ruin your dinner, Nick. We’ll be eating when dad comes home from work. It’ll be another hour. Have an apple or orange. How was school?”
“It was okay,” said Nick reaching for a small to go box he knew contained two pieces of pizza.
Nick’s mom’s back was turned to Nick. She said, “If your trying to take the pizza, don’t. Dad wanted to eat it while he watched the Celtics play on TV.”
Nick didn’t know how his mother could always tell what he was doing, even when she wasn’t looking at him.
She said, “If you’re really hungry, on the top shelf, is a Tupperware bowl with three meatballs in it. Heat it up in the microwave for a couple of minutes. You know where you can find the bread.”
“Thanks, mom. I’m starving,” said Nick.
Nick made himself a meatball sandwich, put it on a plate, and said to his mom, “I’m going to my room to study.”
“Okay, but you need to relax a little, Nick. Give your brain a break. You have the whole weekend,” said his mom.
“The SATs are next week. I need to ace them to have real chance for a scholarship,” said Nick.
“You know you can always live and home at go to college in town. It’s as good as any other university,” said his mom, her back still turned to Nick.
Nick couldn’t count the times he’d been down this road. He knew he’d never win the argument. He said, “I know.” Then he walked out of the kitchen with his backpack over one shoulder, and the plate with his meatball sub in his left hand.
Nick sat on his bed. He placed the plate to his right, took his laptop out of his backpack and text his girlfriend, Cara. “Hi, want to study for the SATs with me tomorrow?”
Cara text right back, “Sorry, Nick. We’re all going to visit my nonna in Providence. We’re going to spend the night. How about Sunday night?”
Nick text back, “C U Then. Love U.”
An hour and a half later, there was a knock on his door, “Nick? Dinner’s ready,” said Laura.
“Okay, Laura. Tell mom and dad I’m on my way.”
Nick’s mom and dad sat at the ends of the table. Laura and Stella sat on one side and Nick on the other. Nick’s dad said, “Nick, it’s your turn to say grace.”
This was another family rule, no ate until the family said grace. The family joined hands. Nick said, “Lord, thank you this food and bringing us together to share it. Please bless the food and each of us. And, let me make a high score on the SATs.”
Each member of the family made the sign of cross. Nick’s dad looked at him, “Don’t worry about it, Nick. Do the best you can. You know you can always live here and go to college in town.”
“I know,” said Nick.
Nick’s mom ladled soup into each bowl. A platter of hard crust Italian bread was passed around as well as a small dish of parmesan. Nick’s mom asked the obligatory question, “What happened at school?” Nick and his sisters gave the obligatory answer, “Not much.” The meal was unusually quiet. Normally, Nick’s dad liked to talk about politics or sports, not tonight.
When the family finished the meal, Nick said, “May I be excused, I want to study?”
Nick’s dad said, “Stay for a minute, there’s something I want to tell the family. I already told your mom.”
Nick and his sisters looked at their dad. Their dad took a deep breath. He said, “Christmas is in three weeks.”
Laura and Stella nodded with great anticipation. Nick listened.
His dad continued, “It won’t be as great as other Christmas’s. I got laid off today. I wasn’t the only one. They cut two-hundred jobs. We’ll all have to tighten our belts until I can find work. Nick, if you don’t mind, I talked to Tino Martini. He likes you. It will be a big help. You can work Saturdays and Sundays and be on call for the week after school when he needs you.”
“It’s not fair, Dad. I have SATs, I going to train hard for the 800 meters. If I qualify for states, I have a chance at a scholarship.”
“Nick, life isn’t fair. Stuff happens over which we have no control. We have to pull together. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to work out,” said his dad.
Nick’s heart sank. “Okay, dad. I’ll see Tino tomorrow.”
“Could you go over now?” asked his dad.
Nick took a deep breath and nodded.
Are Nick’s dreams evaporating? What will his dad do?
When I worked with groups as a university professor, I collected data as a qualitative researcher. My colleagues and I often said of the people we worked with, “Perception is reality.” We frequently discovered that differing perceptions of the same event was the source of conflict. We knew if we could change the perception, we could change the reality. The following brief YouTube video shows a former magician demonstrating why we may see something that is not actual reality. Enjoy.
Each one of you has something no one else has, or has ever had: your fingerprints, your brain, your heart. Be an individual. Be unique. Stand out. Make noise. Make someone notice. That’s the power of individuals. – Jon Bon Jovi
Chapter 2
The college campus was near the center of town. The boys walked past a fire station, a Unitarian church, a small hardware store until they reached a road that circled a large green area in the center of town that served as a rotary for traffic. In Massachusetts, the green is known as a common. Small stores lined the street on both sides of the common. One of the stores was Martini’s Deli.
The boys crossed the street, walked across the green, and crossed the street on the other side of the green. Nick tapped Buttons on the arm, “How about a meatball sub?”
Buttons nodded, and pointed to an old guy fishing in a trash can outside of Martini’s Deli. “I can’t stand that guy. Look at him. He disgusting. He carries a trash bag with cans and who knows what else in it. I bet he eats road kill.”
“Do you know him?” asked Nick.
“No, but my dad said stay away from him, he’s no good,” said Buttons.
“I know him. His name is Johnny, Johnny Balboni. He’s a nice guy,” said Nick.
“He’s dressed like a homeless bum. Look at his clothes, even the Salvation Army wouldn’t take them. I bet he hasn’t had a shower in years,” said Buttons.
Nick ignored Buttons, as the boys passed Johnny, Nick said, “Hi Johnny, how’s it going?”
Johnny looked up from the trash can, and gave a smile. His beaming smile opened a mouth with four teeth on top and three on the bottom. He tipped his worn old gray fedora to Nick, and said, “It’s a going okay. I find maybe twenty cans. They a nickel each. So far I make a buck.”
“Good luck, Johnny,” said Nick as he opened the door to Martini’s.
Nick ordered the meatball sub. The boys ordered Cokes and took their order to a booth near a window. Nick gave half of the sub to Buttons, who unwrapped and bit into it as if he hadn’t eaten for a week.
Nick took a sip of his Coke and said, “You can’t judge a guy by how he dresses, Buttons. Johnny does the yardwork around our house in the summer. He doesn’t charge much. Mom gives him a sandwich and some money when he’s done. He never counts the money. He stuffs it in his pocket, tips his hat and takes off until the next week.”
Buttons wiped his mouth on a napkin, “What’s with him and that hat? I never seen him without it. You think he’s hiding something inside it?”
Nick didn’t answer. He slid out of the booth, “I’ll be right back.”
“Where you going?” asked Buttons but Nick was already at the door.
Buttons looked out the window. Two guys from their class were hassling Johnny. He saw Nick talking to them. One of the guys pushed Nick. Nick stumbled backward and fell. As he was getting up, the other guy hit him in the face bloodying Nick’s nose. Nick got up and charged into the guy that hit him, wrestling him to the ground. The other guy was pulling Nick off his friend when Tino Martini came out and broke it up.
Nick brushed himself off. He went back into the deli. He returned to the booth but didn’t sit. He reached for some napkins and wiped his nose and the blood off his chin and hoodie.
“What happened?” asked Buttons.
“They were bullying Johnny and taking cans out of his bag and tossing them back in the trash. They thought it was funny. I didn’t. I don’t feel like eating, let’s go,” said Nick, grabbing his sandwich and Coke.
“Look what it got you, a bloody nose,” said Buttons.
“If you don’t stand up to a bully, they’ll never stop, said Nick.
“Yah, but they weren’t bullying you. You made it your fight,” said Buttons.
“Johnny’s old and can’t fight back. Somebody had to stick up for him,”said Nick pressing the cold can of Coke aside his nose.
The boys left Martini’s. Nick walked over to Johnny and handed him sub. Johnny took the sub and tipped his hat to Nick.
“I have to find a way to go to college anyplace but here,” said Nick.
Buttons didn’t say anything. The subject changed to sports, girls, and Christmas. By the time they got home, the fight was forgotten.
Nick has a good heart. Come by tomorrow and see where our story is headed.
Too often I find myself so close to my challenges, I lose perspective. When I step back and view my challenges from a new perspective, everything changes. I see my strength. I see meaning in my challenges. I see everything with a different set of eyes. I am filled with gratitude. I am filled with wonder. I am filled with awe. In the following the YouTube video an American astronaut describes his sense of gratitude for our planet Earth from his view on the Space Station.
We never get to the bottom of ourselves on our own. We discover who we are face to face and side by side with others in work, love and learning…
– Robert Neelly Bellah
Once in a while a powerful question puts my mind in overdrive. It makes me think; and, when I think I have the answer, the question makes me dig deeper. In the following video, the video producers asked 50 people in Brooklyn, “Where would you like to wake up tomorrow?” Dig a little, talk to friends and family about it. Where would you like to wake up tomorrow? Enjoy
