Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re already in heaven now. – Jack Kerouac
She’s One Tough Negotiator
Chapter 23
Gallino sat on the sofa between Zeke on his right and Mickey on his left. An old, dated coffee table in front of them. Nonna sat in a stiff, upholstered, maple chair that looked more at home in a Salvation Army store than in her living room.
Nonna stared at Gallino and said, “Tell me whatchu got? Because if you don’t got nothing, you gonna get nothing. And don’t think you gonna go outside and get some muscle to come in here and take what I got because all I got is copies. Rocco told me where to put the originals for safe keeping.”
Gallino tried to remember a Rocco. Maybe it was a cousin. Maybe a neighbor. He thought he knew everyone in the neighborhood. He said, “How’s Rocco doing. I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“The damn fool been dead for twenty years. He gotta nother guess coming if he thinks I gonna stay pure for him. But we talk once a week. I gotta nother question for you? How’s you love life since I put the spell on you?”
“You go Nonna,” said Mickey.
“Palitroni, you keepa you mouth shut or I put a curse on you and turn you into a Butterball turkey,
“That’s one of the things I wanted to discuss. What do I have to do to get rid of the curse and get back the package and all the copies you made?”
“For one thing, I gotta look after Zeke. He’s my favorite grandson. Freddie, he’s in the county for six more months, then there Al, he knocked up his girlfriend, the fool don’t know to use a condom, what a they teachin in school? Then there’s Tony, I know he gotta make a living, but give me a break, does he hafta sell dope to do it. I put a curse on him gonna make him wish he was dead, cause he gonna be worse than dead. Then there’s Angelo, you know what he did? He sold his house on Center to Street to Carmen Palitroni. What damn fool gonna have anything to do with a Palitroni. I put a curse on that house, don’t be surprised when it burns down. This leaves Zeke, he the only good grandson I got. Now you trying to bust his balls. What’s wrong with you?”
Gallino turned to his left and saw Mickey scrolling through Snapchat photos. He turned to his right and saw Zeke using nail clippers to trim his nails. What was he thinking when he asked these two guys to do him a favor? “Listen, Nonna. There’s been a misunderstanding. I apologize for the inconvenience. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
“Hah! The last guy you made a promise to is floating in the river. Don’t give me no promise. You know what’s gonna happen tomorrow? I tell you what’s gonna happen tomorrow. If we don’t work things out, I giving all the photos to the newspaper. Then you gonna be the laughing stock. When Boston sees the photos, Tony Gallino gonna go for a long vacation, you know what I mean?”
“I was a kid. I had to do it. Please don’t publish them,” begged Gallino.
Zeke perked up, “I thought you look cute in pink tights.”
“I didn’t want to take ballet class. I split out my tights and my mother made me wear my sister’s tights,” said Gallino.
“What about the photo of you and Nicky’s wife smooching? That didn’t look like no kiss on the cheek,” said Nonna.
“Nicky was out of town. She was starved for affection. You can’t show that. Nicky thinks she’s faithful,” said Gallino.
“I didn’t know that,” said Mickey.
“What I tell you Palitroni? One more crack and you disappear,” said Nonna giving Mickey the eye. Then she said to Gallino, “You want me go on?”
“No, I’ll do anything. But take the curse off me, the girls are angry with me. They’re threatening to tell Gina.”
“Okay, this is my deal. You give Zeke Lombardi’s. It’s gonna be his place. As for Palitroni, I gonna cut him some slack because he’s Zeke’s friend. You make him your driver. But he don’t work on Monday’s, Tuesday, Thursdays, Friday’s, Saturday’s or Sunday’s. Wednesday is all he can handle because he’s slow. Now, you give me thirty thousand in cash and we got a deal. You wanna walk away, it’s okay. But I tell you, you gonna feel like a freight train run over you front and back.”
Gallino said, “Deal.” Then he started to stand.
Nonna said, “Not so fast schmuck. We gonna do this now. You call your lawyer and have him bring the papers for Lombardi’s and the cash to me and driver’s gloves for Palitroni right away. You make sure you give him two-hundred a week for his work on Wednesdays. I got some lasagna cooking we gonna celebrate because we gotta deal.”
“It smells really good, Nonna,” said Gallino.
“Nonna, can I drink at Zeke’s place on the days I don’t work?” asked Mickey.
“If it makes you happy, Palitroni. You don’t drink on Wednesday. No drinking and driving or I put a curse on you.”
Zeke said, “I’m gonna make some changes, starting with Gus. I’m gonna hire my best friend to be bartender and give him Wednesday’s off.”
“Who’s that, Zeke,” asked Mickey.
“It’s you, Mickey.”
“It’s my dream job. You’re my best friend,” said Mickey.
Quote for Today – December 7, 2017
Auditions are like a gamble. Most likely you won’t get the part, but if you don’t go, you’ll never know if you could’ve got it. – Robert De Niro
Using Your Gift
Each of us has an amazing gift. Gifts are meant to be given to others for their benefit. When we give the gift of our talent, we touch someone in a special way. We may get no recognition for our gift, yet, the person receiving our gift knows we made his or her day better. Today’s video is the inspirational performance of Andrea Bocelli and Katharine Mcphee singing “The Prayer.” Let their gift of song uplift your spirits.
The Secret To More Vitality & Creativity
Often the best advice is the the most simple advice. What would you pay to learn an important secret to success? I’d try to be first in line. Once we heard the advice, would we say, “Everyone knows that?” It’s like hearing someone say, ‘Everyone knows texting and driving is dangerous.’ Yet, everyday I see people texting and driving in a city where texting and driving are illegal. Watch the short YouTube video and glean the simple advice that will give you renewed vigor, vitality, and creativity. It’s there for the taking. Enjoy.
You Smell Like A Skunk
Chapter 22
Zeke and Mickey rode in the back seat of the black BMW. Tony Gallino rode in the passenger seat, the driver thug drove. The driver thug was wearing driving gloves to prevent his hands from making smudges on the steering wheel. This was one Gallino’s pet peeves. He hated smudges. The thug took a left onto Walnut Ave. Cars lined both sides of the street. The only free spot was the space in front of the fire hydrant in front of the house where Nonna lived.
“There’s no parking spaces Mr. G. Want me to drop use off and wait at a coffee shop until you ring me?” said the thug.
“No need, Tony. The space in front of the hydrant is reserved for me. Since I’m with you, you can take my space,” said Zeke.
Gallino turned and looked over his shoulder at Zeke, “The cops let you alone if you park there?”
“They never bother me. It’s the way it works.
Gallino said, “Interesting.” Then he tapped the right shoulder of the thug, “Park in front of the hydrant. Don’t let anything happen to my car, you understand?” said Gallino.
“I gotcha, Mr. G,” said the thug.
Two minutes later, Zeke is knocking on Nonna’s door. Gallino is standing behind Zeke. Mickey is standing behind Gallino.
From behind the door, “I gotta no time the Jehovah’s today. Go knock on somebody else’s door.”
“Nonna, it’s me, Zeke,” said Zeke.
“I no gonna talk to you if one of those Jehovah’s,” said Nonna.
“I’m not one of them, Nonna. I’m with Tony Gallino, he wants to speak with you,” said Zeke.
“I can smell a Palitroni. You bring that scrunchy little bum with you? Don’t lie to me. I can tell when you lying,” said Nonna.
“I showered this morning,” hollered Mickey.
Nonna hollered back, “You Palitroni’s got the skunk smell. No way you can get rid of it. Anyway, you the drunken bum who drank all my dandelion wine. Now, Gino won’t come over until I get some more. I tell him he can’t come to my house until he take his blue pill, you know what I mean?”
Tony Gallino, wearing his three thousand dollar handmade suit, took his silk handkerchief out of his suit coat pocket and wiped his mouth. He said, “Nonna, it’s me, Tony. Can we talk business? These two schmucks are wasting our time.”
“Who you calling a schmuck? It’s okay to call Palitroni a schmuck, but you no call Zeke a schmuck. He’s just stupid and lazy but he gotta good heart.’
“I know what you mean about the Palitroni’s. You can’t trust them. Can I come in and we can make a deal?” said Gallino thinking he was charming Nonna.
“Okay, I’m gonna let everybody in, but I not gonna waste my food and wine on you. I tell you Tony, you try to seduce me, Rocco’s watching. He gonna ask one of the saints to give you a bad accident.”
“I promise, I won’t try to seduce you, Nonna,” said Gallino.
“Why not? Am I not pretty enough for you? Just because I don’t got those plastic things that stick out like a big grapefruit, is that the reason?” said Nonna.
Gallino, exasperated, said, “Yes, I want to seduce you, but I promise I won’t. It will hard because you’re so beautiful.”
“Will you take me to your bed if you have a chance and I give in?” said Nonna.
“Yes, I’ll have you spend the night with me. We’ll make passionate love. But I promise I’ll be strong.”
“You a bigger fool than I thought, Tony. Now I gotta all this on my phone. Maybe I’m a gonna play it for the six o’clock news. Know what I mean?”
“Can I please come in?” Gallino now, almost begging.
“Okie dokie,” said Nonna, taking off the latch, and opening three dead bolt locks, then turning the door handle.
Will Nonna and Tony Gallino cut a deal? What will happen to Zeke and Mickey? What’s in the package?
Quote for Today – December 6, 2017
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. – Mark Twain
They’re Playing Him Like An Accordion
Chapter 21
Tony Gallino got up and began pacing around the small room. The pizza delivery thug and the driver thug stepped back and let Gallino pass. Once he passed, they stepped forward, one on each side of the boys. Gallino made the circle clockwise four times. Each time he made the circle, he stopped behind his desk, turned and starred at Zeke and Mickey. He shook his head and started pacing. After his fourth pass. He stopped, turned toward the boys, placed his two hands palm down on the metal desk.
“You know what I should do with you guys? Do you know what I’m think I should do?”
Zeke kept quiet. Mickey didn’t. He said, “I don’t what you want to do with us, Tony. But if I were in your shoes, I’d tell Gus to make sure we get a free beer every time we come into this place. It’s not like we never been here before. People see us and they feel comfortable. They think two stand up guys like this place. Know what I mean?”
Gallino lifted his head and looked at the two thugs. “You see what’s happening here?”
Neither thug moved. They had no clue what Gallino was thinking and they didn’t want to be wrong.
“I’ll tell you what’s happening here,” said Gallino.
This made the two thugs happy, if they listened they had a good chance at passing a pop quiz.
“This is what’s happening. These two idiots are not idiots. See what I’m saying?”
Both thugs nodded, even though they did not see what Gallino was saying.
Gallino continued, “They are playing me. I do not like it when somebody plays me and I don’t know they are playing me. Nobody dares to do that, but these two, the did it. They played me like an accordion, which I used to play as a kid. This is not common knowledge, so do not say anything.”
The two thugs nodded.
“Gallino continued, “They suckered me into believing they were so dumb they would do me this favor and not look in the package. I, like a fool, believed them. I remember the lesson, Mario Zito taught me. He said, “Antonio, don’t believe nobody, even yourself. Because sometimes yourself lies to you.” Now I know what he means.”
The two thugs nodded.
“So, this is what I am going to do. First, I am going to leave the room while my two thugs mess up your face. Then I’m gonna come back to make sure they did it right. Then I’m gonna leave the room while the two thugs break your legs. Then I’m gonna come back to make sure your legs are broken. Then I’m gonna …”
Gallino paused his sermon on medical malpractice procedures the two thugs were going to inflict on Zeke and Mickey to answer his cell phone and its special ring tone, the Sinatra classic, All The Way. Gallino answered his cell, “Yah, baby.”
Gallino rolled his eyes while he listened to the phone.
“That’s not true, baby. Listen, I got work to do. Can we talk later?”
Gallino paused.
“Don’t you bust my smart TV. You already did? You got my laptop and you’re gonna take it to cops? I thought your sister was you. She tricked me.”
Gallino paused.
“She’s pregnant? She, I mean you, told me you were on the pill.”
A knock on the metal door interrupted Gallino’s phone conversation for a moment.
The pizza delivery thug answered the door. He turned to Gallino and said, “It’s Gus. He says it’s important.”
Gallino nodded to the thug and motioned with his hand to let Gus in the room. Gus entered and said, “Sorry to disturb you Mr. Gallino, but there are three women out there saying they’re going to newspaper saying you made unwanted sexual advances toward them.”
“I do that all the time, what’s their beef?” said Gallino. He realized he hadn’t covered the cell phone. The female voice on the other side of the cell phone connection was letting go with a series of colorful words that might make a hard boiled homicide detective blush.
Zeke said, “If I may, I believe I know a way of your predicament.”
Gallino said “What?”
Zeke answered, “Nonna put a curse on you. The only way to get the curse off is to apologize to her and Mickey and me. I’ll put in a good word with Nonna if you’ll take us to her house.”
Gallino threw his cell against the wall. He picked up a bottle of wine and threw it at Gus, who deftly sidestepped the errant throw and watched the vino splatter against the wall and the shattered bottled lay a mosaic on the floor.
“Okay, but I don’t like it,” said Gallino.
Will Nonna take off the curse? What’s in the package? What’s going to become of Zeke and Mickey?
Writing Dialogue Like Quentin Tarantino
If you’re like me, you understand writers have to write. I’m always trying to learn from the best. In this short YouTube video, Quentin Tarantino shares how he started writing dialogue. If you’re a writer, learn from the best.
Quote for Today – December 5, 2017
We are all a part of every person we have ever met. – Alfred Lord Tennyson
