Joe: “I decided to quit doing bench presses at the gym.”
Pete: “Not making progress?”
Joe: “I just wanted to something off my chest.”
funny
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend Broke Up With Him
Joe: “My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta obsession.”
Pete: “How are you feeling?”
Joe: “I’m feeling cannelloni right now.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend is Fired from Her Job
Joe: “My girlfriend was fired from her job at the recliner shop.”
Pete: “Why was she fired?”
Joe: “Her boss said she was too laid back.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Went on a New Diet
Joe: “I’m on a seafood diet.”
Pete: “How’s it working?”
Joe: “I see food and I eat it.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Makes the Top of the List
Joe: “My girlfriend told me I’m number 1 on her list.”
Pete: “That’s great.”
Joe: “Of people she never wants to see again.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Reads His Girlfriend’s Journal
Joe: “I can’t believe what my girlfriend said about me in her journal.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said I had boundary issues.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Adds an Item to His Shopping List
Joe: “My girlfriend asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.”
Pete: “Did you?”
Joe: “Yah. Now I can’t read anything on it.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Brother Wins a Gold Medal
Joe: “My brother was so proud of the gold medal he won at the city championships.”
Pete: “He must have felt good.”
Joe: “Yah, he had it bronzed.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Get Advice at Work
Joe: “My buddy at work gave me some great advice.”
Pete: “What was it?”
Joe: “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Not Happy With the Airlines
Joe: “I asked my lawyer if I could sue the airlines after my case ended being broken in several pieces,”
Pete: “What did your lawyer advise?”
Joe: “My lawyer said I didn’t have much of a case.”
