Joe: “I remember the profound thought I had when I got my first universal remote.”
Pete: “What was it?”
Joe: “I thought, this changes everything.”
funny
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Girlfriend Gave Joe Some Advice
Joe: “My girlfriend told me I reminded her of Halley’s Comet.”
Pete: “Was that a compliment?”
Joe: “No. She said she didn’t want to see me for another 76 years.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Nurse Girlfriend Taught Him Something New
Joe: “My nurse girlfriend taught me the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer.”
Pete: “What is it?”
Joe: “The taste.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Doctor Gives Him Bad News – Sort of!
Joe: “My doctor told me I was going deaf.”
Pete: “How did you feel?”
Joe: “The news was hard for me to hear.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Thinks His Landlord is a Snob
Joe: “My landlord is a snob.”
Pete: “What makes you think that?”
Joe: “He walks around like he owns the place.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Gives a Shoutout to Elevators
Joe: “I’m giving a shoutout to all elevators.”
Pete: “What for?”
Joe: “They pick me up when I’m feeling down.”
Today’s Joke:
Joe: “I have a new job, I’m working for an elevator company.”
Pete: “How’s it going?”
Joe: “It has its ups and downs.”
Today’s Joke ~ Joe’s Girlfriend Wants to be an Osteopath
Joe: “My girlfriend wants to be an osteopath.”
Pete: “What made her come to that decision?”
Joe: “She said she could feel it in her bones.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Knows it’s Going to be a Bad Day
Joe: “As soon as I rolled out of bed I knew it was going to be a bad day.”
Pete: “How so?”
Joe: “I had a tough time getting up off the floor.”
Today’s Joke – Joe Visits His Psychologist
Joe: “I saw my psychologist today and told him I was addicted to Twitter.”
Pete: “What did your psychologist say?”
Joe: “My psychologist looked at me and said, ‘I don’t follow you.'”
