Thoughts

Today’s Thought:

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Be proud of your scars. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you’ve endured. They’re a treasure map to the deep self. ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes

NOTE: Author and poet, Robert Bly, wrote of conducting a men’s workshop where he asked the men to place a sticky note paper on every place in their body where they carried a scar, physically or emotionally. We all carry scars. No one is spared from scars caused by parents, siblings, classmates, or lovers. A scar happens each time someone is shamed for being different (add your own definition of different here). A scar happens each time we’re betrayed or treated unfairly. And, there are the physical scars if you’ve been physically abused. If we stay stuck thinking about our scars, we loose the gift they’re giving us. They give us the gift of being compassionate to other scar bearers. They give us the give us wisdom. They give us the gift of justice. They give us the potential of becoming a wounded healer of others who bear scars. Turn your scars into stars.

Today’s Thought: Life Wins Again

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Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. There is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf. ~ Albert Schweitzer

NOTE: Early this morning I was looking out my bedroom window toward my backyard. I have two crepe myrtle trees in the yard. When they are in bloom one will be a beautiful pink and the other a brilliant red. Their leave are now appearing. It’s a slow process, but its worth the wait. I looked at the trees and marveled at them. I thought, life wins again,. the leaves are back. The wildflowers are back. A young couple a two house away have a new baby girl. Life wins again and again. When I look at life winning again and again, it gives me hope in our troubled world that life will win again.

Today’s Thought: Love is All

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Life has loveliness to sell, All beautiful and splendid things, Blue waves whitened on a cliff, Soaring fire that sways and sings, And children’s faces looking up, Holding wonder like a cup. Life has loveliness to sell, Music like a curve of gold, Scent of pine trees in the rain, Eyes that love you, arms that hold, And for your spirit’s still delight, Holy thoughts that star the night. Spend all you have for loveliness, Buy it and never count the cost; For one white singing hour of peace Count many a year of strife well lost, And for a breath of ecstasy Give all you have been, or could be. ~ Sara Teasdale

NOTE: Love is all. We get tangled in foolishness. We have disagreements with a lover or friend. We worry over things we won’t remember later in the day. We chase goals that lose their glitter once we reach them. Transient things tangle us up and turn us inside out. All the while, love surrounds us. All we have to do is slow down and look with our heart and love grabs hold of us. Love is all.

Today’s Thought: Look at You Now!

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“We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences – be they positive or negative – make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives. And, like a flowing river, those same experiences, and those yet to come, continue to influence and reshape the person we are, and the person we become. None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.” ― B.J. Neblett

NOTE: We can’t run away. All of our experiences follow us wherever we go. We are who we are because of what we’ve experienced. If we examine our negative experiences, we don’t have to like them, but they shaped us. I have a friend who grew up in an emotionally abusive family. My friend shared that she and her husband promised each other they would never emotionally abuse their children. She learned from her negative experience and used it to shape her parenting and relationships with other people. When we can look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “I love you and everything you’ve been through. You are simply amazing. Look at you now,” we’ll have met someone special.

Today’s Thought:

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There was no doubt about it: if you wanted to succeed you had to go away. You could do nothing in Dublin. ~ James Joyce

NOTE: James Joyce was speaking about Dublin. Yet, in many ways his words can apply to all of us. I know they do to me. I’m a long way away, geographically and emotionally, from where I was as a child. I had a large extended family and most of them continue to live or die within 50 miles of where they were born. That life wasn’t meant for me. I grew up near the railroad tracks. I often dreamed of the trains taking me to far off adventures. If I stayed, as I was encouraged to do, I would’ve never seen what I saw, met the people that I met, or do what I never dreamed it was possible for me to do. You never know what’s out there waiting for you. Catch a train, board flight you’re meant to take, or take a ride share. Keep your eyes on star that’s leading you. Don’t be afraid, journey on.

Today’s Thought:

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“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” – Nelson Mandela

NOTE: Call it falling down, knocked down, or disappointed in many ways they are gifts to us. Each time we are knocked down and get up, we become stronger, more resilient. It’s as if life prepares us for each succeeding stage of our journey. Yes, disappointments and the other events that knock us down hurt, but we’re stronger, tougher, more resilient than anything that takes a swing at us. Never quit. Never give up. Get up, get going, and show them all you got what it takes.

Today’s Thought: We Have a Choice

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“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

NOTE: We’ve all been there. We’ve been in situations where we face situations that are impossible to change for the foreseeable future. It’s as if our patience and endurance is being tested. We may have wondered how much more can we take. When we can’t change the situation we are not without choices. We can give up, we can act as if we are martyrs and complain, or we can make the best of it. My mom and dad are inspirations to me because they chose to make the best of their situations. They were born into poverty in immigrant families. They found work, menial as it was. They raised my brother and me in poverty, but we never knew we were poor. They never talked about being poor. They never complained about their menial factory jobs or living in a four room cold water flat. They went out and did what they had to do day after day. Their lives taught me important lessons. You keep grinding when you can’t do anything else. You don’t dwell on the negative. You grab hold of the good whenever it comes your way.

Today’s Thought:

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Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits, Take care of your garden And keep out the weeds, Fill it with sunshine, Kind words, and Kind deeds. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

NOTE: Kindness – Kind acts and kind words are humble, transforming, free, and transferrable. They’re usually not headline worthy. They don’t scream and shout for attention. They turn the darkness into sunshine. I’ve been the recipient of many kindnesses in my life. Each kindness reminds me there are many more good people in this world than the nasty kind. Each kindness touches me in such a way that I want to share the joy the kindness brought by paying it forward. Each kindness reminds me life is worth living.

Today’s Inspiring Quote: It’s a Matter of Perspective

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We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. ~ Abraham Lincoln

The Day to Free Yourself from Grieving

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Welcome to Episode 75 of ‘Journey from Grief to Healing‘ with Dr. Ray Calabrese. In this enlightening episode, Dr. Ray discusses the profound emotion and process of grieving that we all go through, emphasizing the idea that there will come a day when we must declare ourselves free from it.

Each person’s grieving timetable is unique and unpredictable, with no set calendar time signaling the end of grief. Sometimes, the grieving process can be lengthy, extending from formal cultural ceremonies to the informal grieving that remains with us when we are left alone.

As we navigate the multifaceted emotions of anger, guilt, sadness, fear, depression, and confusion during our grieving period, we also embark on a journey of self-discovery. Among the hard lessons we learn about life and ourselves, an enlightening realization of our resilience emerges.

At some point, our internal messenger will indicate when it’s time to move on, transitioning us into a stage of acceptance and inner freedom. And while this does not imply that the pain dissolves, it symbolizes our decision to live and experience life, despite the hurt. It is the conscious decision to step away from the grasp of grief, hold onto hope, and embrace the promise of a better tomorrow.

This episode draws upon references from F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway, among others, to underscore the transformative power of embracing change and resilience. The story of an older couple dealing with the loss of a partner further illustrates the societal misconceptions concerning grieving that can hinder personal healing.

Dr. Ray encourages listeners to stay strong, resilient, and hopeful for brighter days. The journey of healing is not linear or prescribed; it is deeply personal. Nonetheless, the power to break free from the constraints of grieving and embrace life with renewed vigor ultimately lies within us.

Explore more episodes of ‘Journey from Grief to Healing’ and follow Dr. Ray’s inspirational blog at http://www.dancingalone530.com. 

You can listen to Episode 75 on your favorite podcasting app or click here for Episode 75.

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