I read an article in Huff Post titled, “The One Thing Therapists Say Harms Your Happiness Most.” It is a wonderful article describing how we often sabotage our own happiness. The authors give this advice:
“Shame, guilt and worry are the most common disruptors of happiness, just in what I see in working with people,” said Tamika Lewis, the clinical director and founder of WOC Therapy in California. When you’re experiencing one of these feelings, you’re holding yourself hostage to past life experiences or worrying about the future, she said. “So we’re not in the present moment, and that really disrupts … that contentment and joy.” Practicing self-compassion is one way to combat these feelings, Lewis noted. She said it’s also important to have grace for yourself and practice mindfulness so you stay in the present moment.
Additionally, Lewis said she talks a lot about the Hawaiian practice of ho’oponopono with her clients. “It’s four phrases, simply saying, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you,’” she explained. Lewis encourages folks to close their eyes and recite this mantra four times.“They really hit all these areas; the guilt, the shame, all of that. And then the love as a reminder of self-love, and sometimes it could help too to even do this in the mirror as you’re looking at yourself,” Lewis explained.