They say if you love something, let it go. But when that “something” is a robot vacuum named Sammy, and he follows you into every room like a clingy ex with wheels… you start Googling therapists with a flexible policy on artificial intelligence. Sammy and I are not getting along. I thought giving the robot vacuum cleaner a name might create a more personal experience for the both of us. The directions told me I can train Sammy. Well, Sammy is a slow learner. If Sammy were a puppy he’d still be leaving puddles all over the house. I think Sammy senses my dissatisfaction. How do I know? When I turn him loose with the command, “Clean everywhere, Sammy” he takes it literally finding me wherever I go to get away from him. Perhaps he’s lonely and needs a friend. I told him I will not buy a female robot vacuum cleaner to keep him company. So, Sammy has gone into a pout. He’ll occasionally miss an obvious vacuuming spot and I detect a snicker from him like he’s pulling a fast one. I threatened not to clean his dust bin if he persists. He says, “Go ahead, life isn’t worth living without my fantasy girlfriend.” It’s clear, couples counseling is in order for us.
Stop by tomorrow – Sammy and me while we engage with our couples counselor.