I didn’t go to school to learn—I went for the audience. Classmates were my people, the classroom was my stage, and I had no idea the teachers weren’t there to be part of the show. Every day was a new opportunity to crack a joke, tell a story, or get sent to the hallway for talking again.
I wasn’t trying to be bad. I was trying to be liked. Which, if laughter counts, was working out great—at least until the teacher said, “Raymond, to the office.” I thought that meant the show was getting picked up for a second season.
I went to school because I had t go to school. I was much too social and I liked being the center of attention. Teachers frequently would say, “Raymond, stop talking..” Or, “Raymond, am I going to have to move your desk?” Or, “Raymond, do you want to stay after school.” Or, “Raymond, I’ll see after school.” Heck, for most days, my school day went one hour later than usual. I got very good at cleaning blackboards, clapping erasers against the side of the school building, and watering the teacher’s plants. That was all grade school stuff. Junior high wasn’t much better. Only the punishments were more formal and called detention or getting sent to the principal’s office. I never understood why my English teacher would say, “the principal is your pal. He was never my pal. He was more like the warden at the state prison. I wasn’t a wise guy, I just liked to have fun and since I am a slow learner I never figured out schools were not a place to have fun. And, teachers didn’t have a sense of humor. To this day I can’t understand why my eighth grade teacher sent me to to the office when it was she who asked me to read my story (homework) to the class. Unfortunately for me, I wrote a story about my teacher and her boyfriend. Now, I used different names. How was I to know she’d figure it out? As I read the story, the whole class is laughing (I’m loving the attention). I didn’t even get to the great finish I wrote when I heard the words, “Raymond, to the office.” I turned and asked politely, “What did I do?” The class laughed louder. I loved it. I could be elected class president. The attention was worth the three days detention. The downside, she never asked me to read my stories in front of the class again. How I ended up as an educator is beyond me. I think life was paying me back for the pain I caused all my teachers.