It wasn’t really about the ferry or the train—it was about the need to be right. When we dig in, what do we lose besides the view?
I was chatting with a gym buddy today. The conversation worked its way around to a trip he and his wife are planning to take to Italy. The problem he’s dealing with is that he and his wife can’t agree on how l to get to Naples from Salerno. His wife says the best way is by ferry from Salerno to Naples. My buddy says, the ferry ride is too long. The train will get there much quicker. The two of them are stuck in their positions. One on the ferry and the other on a train. They can’t agree on what to do. Now the trip is questionable. I didn’t say it, but one thought danced in my mind: Does it really matter? What does either party have to lose by acquiescing to the other party? So many relationship problems happen because one or both parties get stuck in a fixed position. A good question to ask oneself before becoming stuck: Does it really matter?
Points to Ponder:
- How often do we defend a position simply because it’s ours?
- Would surrendering this decision build trust instead of resentment?
- What’s more important: being right, or being at peace with someone you love?
- Can a small compromise unlock a greater joy?
- When you ask yourself, “Does it really matter?”—what truth bubbles up?