What if the most powerful thing you could do in a disagreement is simply listen—with heart and patience?
When disagreements arise, the first instinct for many is to defend, justify, or counter. But research shows that listening with empathy—truly hearing someone else’s feelings, fears, and needs—can transform conflict into connection. Empathy allows you to understand the other person’s internal experience, reduce defensiveness, and build mutual trust.
A gold standard source: Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, emphasizes that empathetic listening improves interpersonal relationships by helping people feel understood and respected. Studies show that NVC usage increases empathy and lowers hostility in conflict situations.
Work on emotional intelligence (EI) finds that people with higher EI are better at conflict management and experience greater relationship satisfaction. They’re more able to listen, regulate their own emotional response, and see the other person’s point of view.
Listening with empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with everything or denying your feelings—it means setting aside judgment, allowing space for the other’s experience, and validating their personhood.
Practical Step Now:
The next time someone expresses disagreement with you, pause. Before responding, ask a clarifying question like: “Can you tell me more about how you feel or what led you to see it that way?” Then simply reflect back what you heard (“It sounds like…”) without adding judgment.