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Relationship
Thinking Out Loud ~ Love Will Change Us Forever
Learning to Love Takes Time
Saint-Exupéry in writes in The Little Prince, “I should not listen to him,” he told me one day. . . . It is necessary to look at them (flowers) and smell them. Mine perfumed my planet, but I did not know how to rejoice. He told me yet: “then, I have not known how to understand anything! I should judge it on its actions, not on its words. It embalmed me and lit me. I should never have run away! I should have guessed it’s tenderness behind its poor tricks. The flowers are so contradictory! But I was too young to know how to love it.””
NOTE: Learning to love takes a long time. It doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye. It takes a heart willing to listen and learn. It takes a heart willing to set aside judgments and seeing beyond the words and into another heart. Love can be frightening, if we have the courage to let love in our life it will change us forever.
Thinking Out Loud ~ Love is the Passport
The Silent Presence of a Friend is All
Saint-Exupéry in writes in The Little Prince, “He could not say anything else. He burst suddenly into sobs. Night had fallen. I dropped my tools. . . . I took him in my arms. I cradled him. . . . I did not know what else to say. I felt very awkward. I didn’t know how to reach it, where to find it . . . it’s so mysterious. The country of tears!”
NOTE: It’s not easy to console a friend when they are beset with grief, when they are crying uncontrollably. The country of tears is far beyond our reach. A friend told me, “Ray, depending on the weather all you do is shiver or sweat.” His words had an impact on me. Words are not necessary. One’s presence is what matters. Holding another’s hand or embracing another when they are overflowing with sorrow matters. Love is the only passport into the country of tears.
Feel Good Tip ~ Don’t Get Caught Up
What’s Making You Feel Angry?
There’s enough stuff in the news to toss anyone in downward spiral. I had a conversation with someone who sat next to me on a recent flight. She offered a great suggestion. She spoke of how the news had a habit of grabbing hold of her, especially the political news. She said that she had a moment of awareness of how the news was making her feel,his angry, anxious, and edgy. She didn’t like feeling this way. She does not watch the news or listen to the talk shows/podcasts that create those emotions in her. I asked her how she stays in formed. She said, she reads it online and is aware of how it is making her feel. If she feels negative emotions arise as she reads it, she turns the switch off. She said she feels much better now. It may not be the news that gets you angry. It may be a family member, neighbor, or co-worker. Move them out of your circle. If you can’t move them out of your circle, minimize the contact time you have with him/her. That’s a feel good tip for all of us.
Thinking Out Loud ~ Setting Aside Biases
Looking Beyond Appearances
Saint-Exupéry in writes in The Little Prince, “I have serious reasons to believe that the planet where the little Prince came from is asteroid B-612. This asteroid was seen only once through the telescope, in 1909, by a Turkish astronomer. Then, he made a great demonstration of his discovery at an international Congress of astronomy. However, nobody believed him because of his costume. The grown-ups are like that. Fortunately, for the reputation of asteroid B-612, a Turkish dictator imposed on his people on pain of death, to dress like the Europeans. The astronomer remade his demonstration in 1920, in a very elegant garment. And this time, everybody accepted his opinion.”
NOTE: It is easy to judge people based on their appearance. If someone appears to be different from us we often allow our biases to rule over our reason. When we look beyond appearances and into the person we find something all together different. We discover someone much like ourselves. It’s better to set aside judgments and listen. We may learn something.
Thinking Out Loud ~ It Takes Time Understand Others
Listening Reveals New Discoveries
Saint-Exupéry in writes in The Little Prince, “and that is How I Met the little prince. It took me a long time to understand from where he came. The little prince, who asked me a lot of questions never seemed to understand mine. The words spoken by chance, little by little, are the ones revealing me everything.
NOTE: When we meet someone new it takes time for us to get to know them. We can only get to know the new person we meet if we are more interested in him or her than we are in ourselves. The more we move out of ourselves toward the other the more we learn about the other allowing us to discover the treasures this new person holds. When we listen to another, the other will reveal himself or herself to us as trust builds.
Feel Good Tip ~ When Good Advice is Not Taken
Have you ever given your best advice to someone you love then watched them ignore it? I have. Some folks have to learn the hard way. They believe they have all the answers. We create anxiety for ourselves when we give advice to people we know will not listen to us. It takes effort, but letting go and letting others figure it out for themselves is often best. When we keep our own counsel we relieve our pressure and those who are not listening eventually will learn a hard lesson.
Feel Good Tip ~ What Will You Do?
What is one nice thing you can do today for someone? There are an infinite number of opportunities. You can do something as simple as sending a text with an inspiring quote. Not sure where to find an inspiring quote? Here is a great website loaded with quotes to lift your spirit: BrainyQuote. Don’t want to send a quote? Send a text and simply say, “Thinking of you. Hope you are doing well.” You can copy and paste from this post. It’s easy to do something simple that means a lot to others.
Poem of the Day ~ The Shadow on the Stone
The Shadow on the Stone
Thomas Hardy
I went by the Druid stone
That stands in the garden white and lone,
And I stopped and looked at the shifting shadows
That at some moments there are thrown
From the tree hard by with a rhythmic swing,
And they shaped in my imagining
To the shade that a well-known head and shoulders
Threw there when she was gardening.
I thought her behind my back,
Yea, her I long had learned to lack,
And I said: “I am sure you are standing behind me,
Though how do you get into this old track?”
And there was no sound but the fall of a leaf
As a sad response; and to keep down grief
I would not turn my head to discover
That there was nothing in my belief.
Yet I wanted to look and see
That nobody stood at the back of me;
But I thought once more: “Nay, I’ll not unvision
A shape which, somehow, there may be.”
So I went on softly from the glade,
And left her behind me throwing her shade,
As she were indeed an apparition—
My head unturned lest my dream should fade.
