Being in control is, for the most part, an illusion. It makes us feel secure since we believe we can predict the outcome. Yesterday, I went to my local supermarket. In South Texas, most local supermarkets are called H E B. It wasn’t a big shopping day but I like to have broccoli with my dinner most days. I picked up broccoli, a medium sized avocado, garlic, and yogurt. When I returned to my car I turned on full self driving. I wanted to see how it would do in a busy parking lot. I let the Tesla be in charge. It easily navigated the row of parked cars, moved away from a shopper with a shopping cart, and stopped at the end of the row turning on a signal to turn left. Off to the left a car stopped to let a passenger off close to the entrance. I was watching the parked car. The Tesla decided the coast was clear and pulled into a lane adjacent to where the car parked to drop off the passenger. The Tesla didn’t anticipate that car to move and cut in front to go into the parking area. I anticipated it and quickly took back control from the Tesla. I wasn’t about to see if it could stop in a close encounter. Here’s where I am going with this story. Even with the great self-driving software, the Tesla couldn’t anticipate what the other car was going to do until the car engaged. That’s a life lesson. We usually can’t anticipate what life is going to toss at us until life tosses it at us. We have little, if any, control. What we can do is to prepare, be alert, and be ready to adapt to changing circumstances.
control
Today’s Thought: Knowing the Difference Makes a Difference
When we attempt to control things, events, or people we can’t control we become frustrated. Our frustration often turns to anger and we say or do things we later regret. The Serenity Prayer offers a way through this conundrum.
“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Today’s Thought: Why Worry?
Some days you have to roll with it. There’s nothing you can do with the way things are going. Today, for example, I’m getting a new roof. The roofers are here, the roofing shingles haven’t yet arrived. I hear the roofers scraping all the shingles off my roof. Not much I can do about no roofing shingles but roll with it and hope the contractor is on top of it. There are things which we can control and things we can’t control. No sense in wasting energy worrying about what we can’t control.
2 hours later: The roofing shingles arrived and the roofing crew is hard at work.
Today’s Thought: Don’t Get Caught in the Control Trap
We often complicate our lives when we allow ourselves to get emotionally dragged into events or people we can’t control. We want to control them, but they are beyond our control. We can’t control the outcome of an election, yet, we sometimes get caught in demonizing one candidate while rooting for his/her opponent. The best we can do is contribute time to work an vote for the candidate . Another complication occurs when we try to control other people in our sphere. Good luck with that one. In the end, the best we can do is to control ourselves. If we’re caught in the control trap it’s a good idea to get out of it. People who don’t try to control events or other people are generally much happier than those who dol
Episode 24: Learning to Master my Emotions
In Episode 24 of my podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing, M and I talk about the role emotions play in grieving. Grieving the death of a loved one puts our emotions on steroids. M helps me to understand the importance of choosing to master my emotions and not let my emotions have mastery over me.
Enjoy Episode 24 on your favorite podcasting app or click the link to listen to it.
Feeling Good Tip of the Day ~ Don’t Stress Over Things You Can’t Control
You Can Choose to Let It Slide
There are always going to be people elected into office whom you don’t like, taxes that you don’t want to pay, idiot drivers who refuse to move out of the left-hand lane, and a person ahead of you in the check-out line who won’t stop chatting with the clerk. The great benefit of being human is that we get to experience all of what life offers us, the good, the bad, and the ugly. To live stress-free is to learn to deal with this fact.
Dwelling on your frustration with a situation, person, place, or thing that can’t be changed doesn’t do anything other than drag you down. You can choose how to respond to negative situations. Choose to be happy and not angry or frustrated.
Today’s Positive Thought ~ Don’t Give in to Discouragement
“Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was (Richard L. Evans).
We all encounter periods of discouragement. The big choice we have to make is to decide to whether we give control to discouragement or to tear it away from discouragement and push on believing tomorrow will be better than today. Choose to seize control from discouragement.
Think About It ~ Do The Best You Can, Let the Rest Go
There are things we can control and many more things we can’t control. When we try to control what we can’t control, we set ourselves up for heaps of mental anguish. There is no peace to be found when we walk down that road. Life is better when we focus on what we can control, and, place what we can’t control in God’s hands. The question we can ask ourselves: What can I do to address this problem? Do your best, let the rest go.
Today’s Positive Thought ~ Keep Positive Thoughts in Your Mind
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another (William James).”
Today’s Power Thought ~ Cast Away All Fear
Don’t let fear stop you from achieving what you are destined to achieve. Don’t let fear stop you from acts of kindness and compassion. Fear is the enemy of growth, love, and joy. Laugh at it. Let it know it no longer in control.
