To keep my health!
To do my work!
To live!
To see to it I grow and gain and give!
Never to look behind me for an hour!
To wait in weakness, and to walk in power;
But always fronting onward to the light,
Always and always facing towards the right.
Robbed, starved, defeated, fallen, wide astray—
On, with what strength I have!
Back to the way!
Charlotte Perkins Gilman
There is nothing you can do about the past except keep it there. ~ Michael Connelly
Here is an excerpt from Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again:
“Can you see what’s happening, Ray? You’re not stuck. A grateful heart heals, renews, and recreates. Remember what Saint Teresa of Ávila said: ‘All things are passing; God never changes, patience obtains all things.’ Don’t be afraid of suffering. It’s unavoidable. You can do nothing to make it go away. It has a life of its own. You did not purposely will this suffering upon yourself. It happened. It happened as it will happen to everyone. It is part of the human condition. We can push aside all thoughts of it to some remote canyon in Texas, but it waits patiently, knowing its time will come. Instead of suffering being a curse, think of your unavoidable suffering as a wonderful gift to help you become a more loving and compassionate person. If you’re willing, you will see the lessons it is teaching you.”
Ordering information for the paperback or ebook version of Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again may be found at https://optimisticbeacon.com/dancing-alone/
Excerpt From: Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again by Ray Calabrese. This material is protected by copyright
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
– Robert Benchley
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
Christ behind and before me,
Christ behind and above me,
Christ with me and in me,
Christ around and about me,
Christ on my right and on my left,
Christ when I lie down at night,
Christ when I rise in the morning,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone that speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
– St Patrick
M continued to encourage me to be grateful for Babe. Being grateful was difficult because I fixed my focus on what I lost, not what I had. It was only later when I realized being grateful was the grieving breakthrough I sought. It was only later when I realized I couldn’t be grateful and sad at the same time. Here is a journal excerpt where I continue to express my gratitude for Babe.
“You taught me to love. You taught me about love. You were, and still are, love. Each moment we spent together, you taught me another love lesson. Each time you touched me, you taught me about love. Each word you spoke to me was a message of love. Each time you looked at me, you filled me with love. How can I choose to do anything else but love? You’re a gift. I buried your body, but I did not bury you. Ciao—until …”
I finished my brief journal entry. I was smiling. My heart was at peace. The images of Babe lingered with me. For the moment, life was good.”
Ordering information for the paperback or ebook version of Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again may be found at https://optimisticbeacon.com/dancing-alone/
Excerpt From: Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again by Ray Calabrese. This material is protected by copyright
Write to be Understood: If I broke all the rules of punctuation, had words mean whatever I wanted them to mean, and strung them together higgledly-piggledy, I would simply not be understood. So you, too, had better avoid Picasso-style or jazz-style writing if you have something worth saying and wish to be understood. ~ Kurt Vonnegut
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. ~ Corrie Ten Boom
M told me losing the ability to be grateful is common among men and women who grieve. She encouraged me to “relearn gratefulness.” She suggested I begin by journaling my gratitude for Babe. Here is an excerpt from Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again:
“I am grateful for how Babe helped me lighten up and not take life so seriously. I am grateful for how she saw in me what I couldn’t see for myself. I am grateful each time I heard her laugh. I am grateful for the times we made love. I am grateful for each of our dates. I am grateful for how Babe taught me to manage a household. I watched and learned from her. The lessons she taught me helped me to keep the house clean, cook, make things neat, and manage money. Little did I know, God was using Babe to prepare me this part of my life.
I am grateful for the small things. I can still see her childlike excitement at decorating for Christmas, her delight while she cooked a meal, or her enjoyment as she sipped a cup of coffee. I am grateful for watching her get all dolled up for me. I told her many times she was born beautiful. I am grateful for her excitement whenever we planned a trip. She would start packing two weeks early. “I am grateful for the moments when I was anxious and she’d put her hand on my neck. As if by magic, my tension and anxiety would instantly disappear.”
Ordering information for the paperback or ebook version of Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again may be found at https://optimisticbeacon.com/dancing-alone/
Excerpt From: Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again by Ray Calabrese. This material is protected by copyright
