death

New Podcast: The Quiet Ache of Grief: Yearning After Loss

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In this touching episode of Journey from Grief to Healing, we explore the tender thread of yearning—that quiet, constant ache for a loved one who’s gone. It hums beneath the surface of ordinary moments and reminds us that love never leaves quietly. Through poetic reflection, personal stories, and timeless wisdom from ancient poets like Li Po and e.e. cummings, we discover how yearning reveals both our sorrow and our sacred connection. This episode gently guides listeners toward healing—not by forgetting, but by learning to move forward with grace, courage, and hope.

5 Salient Points

  • Yearning is a universal and deeply emotional part of grief, often more powerful than sadness itself.
  • Li Po’s poem “Endless my Yearning” beautifully captures the soul’s ache to reconnect with someone who is gone.
  • Experiencing a loved one’s presence or voice after death is a normal part of grief for many.
  • Grief counselors can offer vital support when yearning interferes with daily life—seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
  • Healing is gradual and nonlinear—but with time, moments of beauty, peace, and purpose grow stronger than the pain.

Daring to Live

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I know a person who refuses to fly. He misses out on many of life’s joys. I think he’s more afraid of dying than he is of being afraid of not living. If his fear of not living becomes greater than his fear of dying he will begin to experience life far differently from how he currently experiences it. What does it mean to experience life? One way is to be aware of the data streaming our traditional five senses : Touch, smell, taste, sight, and hearing. The more aware of the streaming data our senses are sending to us, the more we experience the physical world around us. Emotionally we experience life when we are experiencing joy, happiness, sorrow, or love. When we are alive in the sense of fully experiencing life, we discover that we can experience it anywhere. Life is going to happen whether we want it or not. It is going to challenge us and we don’t have a choice. Why fear the inevitable, embrace what we have and experience it in all in many facets.

Healthy Tips: Don’t Smoke Tilt the Odds in Your Favor

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I enjoy going to Vegas about 3 times a year. I’m not a heavy better. I play the slot machines and I might take a trip to sports betting area. I have a budget. I make a valiant effort to stretch my budget to the finish line – The finish line being when I check out and head for the airport. I know when I go to Vegas all the odds favor the casinos. All this background leads to today’s healthy tip.

In Vegas the casinos are going to win. When you smoke, death is going to come early to your door. Here’s the facts: Smoking is strongly linked to disease and early death (42Trusted Source). Overall, people who smoke may lose up to 10 years of life and be 3 times more likely to die prematurely than those who never pick up a cigarette 

Fearlessly Face Today

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We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. ~ Charles Bukowski

Today’s Poem: Good by R. S. Thomas

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Good

R. S. Thomas

The old man comes out on the hill
and looks down to recall earlier days
in the valley. He sees the stream shine,
the church stand, hears the litter of
children’s voices. A chill in the flesh
tells him that death is not far off
now: it is the shadow under the great boughs
of life. His garden has herbs growing.
The kestrel goes by with fresh prey
in its claws. The wind scatters the scent
of wild beans. The tractor operates
on the earth’s body. His grandson is there
ploughing; his young wife fetches him
cakes and tea and a dark smile. It is well.

Source

All That Love Asks: A Poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

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All That Love Asks

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

” All that I ask,” says Love, “is just to stand
And gaze, unchided, deep in thy dear eyes;
For in their depths lies largest Paradise.
Yet, if perchance one pressure of thy hand
Be granted me, then joy I thought complete
Were still more sweet.”
“All that I ask,” says Love, “all that I ask,
Is just thy hand clasp. Could I brush thy cheek
As zephyrs brush a rose leaf, words are weak
To tell the bliss in which my soul would bask.
There is no language but would desecrate
A joy so great.”
“All that I ask, is just one tender touch
Of that soft cheek. Thy pulsing palm in mine,
Thy dark eyes lifted in a trust divine
And those curled lips that tempt me overmuch
Turned where I may not seize the supreme bliss
Of one mad kiss.
“All that I ask,” says Love, “of life, of death.
Or of high heaven itself, is just to stand,
Glance melting into glance, hand twined in hand,
The while I drink the nectar of thy breath,
In one sweet kiss, but one, of all thy store,
I ask no more.”
“All that I ask “—nay, self-deceiving Love,
Reverse thy phrase, so thus the words may fall,
In place of “all I ask,” say, “I ask all,”
All that pertains to earth or soars above,
All that thou weft, art, will be, body, soul,
Love asks the whole.

Source

Episode 13: How Do You Heal A Broken Heart?

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In Episode 13 of my Podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing I share my second grieving group experience. M wants to talk about what it feels like to have a broken heart. I told M Babe’s death shattered my heart into a 1000 pieces.
Comments, questions, or personal insights, email me at ray.brese@gmail.com.
You can listen to Episode 13 on all podcast applications or you can click the following link:
https://raycalabrese.podbean.com/e/episode-13-how-do-you-heal-a-broken-heart/

Episode 5: My Grieving Group Experience

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Attending a grieving group helped me. The first group I attended didn’t work out. But M pushed me to try another group and it was very beneficial. Listen to Episode 5 on my Podcast: Journey from Grief to Healing
https://raycalabrese.podbean.com/e/my-grieving-group-experience/

Thinking Out Loud: What Is Your Image of Your Future?

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

“Organizations are heliotropic in character in the sense that organizational actions have an observable and largely automatic tendency to move in the direction of images of the future.” P. 18

Note: The authors are speaking of organizations. I believe what they are saying can be applied to human beings. I lived in a high rise apartment building in Columbus, Ohio. The population comprised of people from all age demographics. The young people were mostly Ohio State University students. Their image of the future was one of hope and dreams of what they could do with the rest of their life. They were filled with energy. Many of the older people had an image of life that it was over. A friend I knew, I’ll call him Bob was sitting in a chair in the lobby. He hadn’t shaved and looked depressed. I walked over to him and asked him how he was doing. I could tell from our conversation that he had given up. It was apparent in the way he was taking care of himself. Three weeks later Bob was carried out on a stretcher and taken to a mortuary. His image of the future was death; it contrasted with the image of life held by the college-aged students. What image do you want to have for your life one of life or one of death. Appreciative inquiry proposes that holding positive images of the future shape the actions we take to make that image real.

Thinking Out Loud: Looking Forward to the Next Chapter

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Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Boris Pasternack’s  work, Dr. Zhivago.

“Farewell, my great one, my own, farewell, my pride, farewell, my swift, deep, dear river, how I loved your daylong splashing, how I loved to plunge into your cold waves.”

Note: Life for us is a long series of letting go. We let go of childhood to enter adolescence. We let go of adolescence to enter adulthood. During our adult journey we may let go of good health. We may lose a partner to death. Each time we let go we experience the pain of separation. We’re never really healed from the separations, each separation leaves a scar. Some of my scars are more visible than others, but I carry them as you  do yours. With each separation there is a time of mourning. If we’re healthy, we begin to look forward to the next chapter with hope-filled expectations. Then we get on with life and leave what was lost behind.     

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