Can You Kidnap a Stuffed Animal? LOL

3.

The t-shirt was special to Joey because he won the dart tournament at Barlow’s and first prize was the Barlow’s Beer Stop t-shirt. It was the first and only thing he ever won in his life. He’s never won a scratch ticket. He’s never won the football pool. He’s never won the basketball pool. But he won the dart tournament. He once told Nate, when he died, he wanted to be buried in his Barlow’s Beer Stop t-shirt.

Joey swore to get even. He might let his fixation with Barlow’s Beer Stop t-shirt pass if Sunny would agree to sleeping with him two or three times a week. She was the best he’d ever been with, not that he’d been with that many women. Joey knew he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the ceiling, but he felt Sunny’s light was so dim, she couldn’t find her way out of a closet with her hand on the door knob. One time he said, “Sunny, who’s on the one-dollar bill?”

Sunny answered, “Is this a trick question, because I hate trick questions.”

Joey said, “No, if you tell me the correct answer, I’ll give you ten dollars.”

Sunny took an emery board out of her purse and started working on her nails. She thought about the question for a moment before she said, “I got it down to between three choices. Can I have a multiple guess question? I always did good with multiple guess questions because I can guess good.”

Joey considered himself easy going and good hearted. He decided to make it a no brainer for Sunny. He says, “The Beatles, Spiderman, or George Washington.”

Jody beams, “It’s either The Beatles or Spiderman. Whoever put somebody with George for a first name on money? Get real, Joey. My guess is it’s Spiderman because The Beatles will be on the four-dollar bill because there’s four of them.”

Joey gave her ten dollars and they had sex the rest of the afternoon. Those were the salad days for Joey and Sunny.

Now, Joey it was time to even the score. A week after Sunny tossed him out and threatened to terrorize his Barlow’s t-shirt, Joey called in sick at work and went to Sunny’s apartment complex and commenced a stakeout to see when she leaves for work. He knows Sunny usually leaves around eleven for her daytime job, cashier at a car wash. While he’s waiting he’s twisting the key to her apartment over in his hand. He never returned the key she gave him and he figured she didn’t change the locks because she never watches Cold Case Files or any of the other crime shows. The only thing she likes is reality shows or social media.

Sunny leaves for work at eleven-fifteen, Joey slides the key into the lock, twists it, and the door opens. Joey walks over to the alarm, punches in Sunny’s security code, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4. Sunny picked the code because it was easy to memorize.  The alarm system shuts down. Joey doesn’t waste any time. He walks in the bedroom, searches all her drawers and closet for his Barlow’s Beer Stop t-shirt, but comes up empty. He spots Jody’s pet stuffed poodle, Punkin, resting on her pillow. A plan is born in Joey’s mind. Joey was always jealous of Punkin. He told Sunny more than once, she loved Punkin more than she loved him. Each time he told her, Sunny agreed with him. He grabbed hold of Punkin, goes into the kitchen, finds a pen and tears off a paper towel and writes a ransom note: If you ever want to see Punpkin alive you will have to leave my Barlow’s Beer Stopt-shirt at the coffee shop on the table in the corner at 11 a.m. on Tuesday. Don’t tell the cops or Punkin gets it.

Joey wants to make sure Sunny sees the note so he tapes it to the bathroom mirror. Satisfied, he resets the alarm, closes and locks the door, and leaves.

It’s been 48 hours since he broke into Jody’s apartment. Joey glances toward Barlow’s front door and on cue, in walks his best bud, Nate.