NASA Discovers New Sun—Oh Wait, It’s Just My Friend’s Ego

Think the universe revolves around the sun? Wait until you meet my friend—his ego has its own gravitational pull, and your wallet will feel the burn.

Did you read the latest breaking news from NASA? It appears that our solar system has another sun. Opps, that’s not another sun, it’s just a guy I know who believes the world and all other parts of our solar system revolve around him.

If this guy is in your life this is how interacting with him may go down. He’ll give you a call, he hates text messaging, he’s paranoid and thinks people are trying to steal his brilliant ideas. When he calls he may invite you to lunch. Let me warn you, make sure you have sufficient credit on your credit card. Although this guy is loaded, he somehow finds a way to ignore the check when it’s left on the table. When you check the bill, you’ll see your prudent lunch and that this guy was eating like it was his last meal before he faced the firing squad.

During lunch, there’s not too much to worry about in keeping the conversation going. All you have to do is ask, “What’s happening in your life?” That will set him off for an hour and he’ll go stretches without taking a breath. An opera star would be jealous of his breath control.

When lunch is over and you’ve paid the bill and tip, be prepared because he’ll say, “You should have let me get that.” Then he’ll add, “This was fun, we’ll have to do it again.”

You’ll nod, hope you have water and Tylenol in your car because you have a splitting headache. It always happens when you get too close to the sun.

My advice, next time, bring sunscreen and sunglasses.