One smooth jazz lyric, one flashback to high school heartbreak, and suddenly I’m reliving the most awkward promposal of my life. Spoiler: Joan said no, my ego said ouch, and the universe said, “Trust me, kid.”
🎶 It Started With Breakfast… and a Saxophone
Did it ever happen to you when you’re streaming music that a song plays and your mind flashes to a long-forgotten event? That happened to me this morning as I was preparing breakfast.
A contemporary soft jazz song began streaming. I hadn’t previously heard the song, but suddenly, a line dropped a female name—and boom. I was transported straight back to high school.
🏫 Flashback to the Cafeteria of Crushes
There I was again, catching up with Joan in the cafeteria. Joan, as in the Joan—hottest girl in our class, total heart-throb, hair that defied gravity, and a smile that made 16-year-old me forget how words worked.
I mustered all the courage a teenage boy could possibly summon. Think Viking warrior with a varsity jacket. I walked up to her and dropped the line I’d practiced in my mirror at least 47 times.
“Hi Joan, would you like to go to the Junior Prom with me?”
💥 The Rise and Fall of My Teenage Ego
For exactly 8.3 seconds, I was king of the cafeteria. The guys in the locker room were going to build a shrine to me. My name would be whispered in awe.
Then Joan tilted her head ever so slightly and said:
“No thanks.”
She smirked, turned, and joined her friends at their table.
I turned, walked straight out of the cafeteria, and convinced myself it was better to eat lunch with the squirrels than to see them laughing at my expense.
🙏 Thank You, Joan
Now, years later, with a healthy dose of hindsight (and coffee), I say:
Thank you, Joan.
Who knows what might’ve happened? Maybe we would’ve dated, and I’d have missed meeting Babe—the real love of my life. The one who loved my quirks, laughed at my jokes, and didn’t say, “No thanks.” When I asked her to dance with me.
🎁 The Moral (with a Side of Jazz)
Sometimes what seems like a cosmic slap in the face is just life redirecting you to something better.
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