The Annual Check-Up That Got Weirdly Cheerful

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Are you living a happy, peaceful life? Do you miss not being angry? Perhaps you feel if you don’t get angry you’ll forget how to do it. Your anger skills will start to atrophy. If your anger skills atrophy your blood pressure will return to normal, you’ll have to stop taking blood pressure meds. You’ll surprise your physician at your annual physical when they check your blood results. Here’s how that might go.

Doctor: “Zeke, I’ve got your blood test results. It’s vastly different from last year. “

Zeke: “I can take it, Doc. Tell me the truth. How much longer do I have to live. Three months, six months. Oh no, it’s just weeks. I didn’t see it coming.”

Doctor: “Calm down, Zeke. You’re not going to die.”

Zeke: “Is it Parkinson’s? Diabetes? Will I have to stick a needle in my arm ever day?” Don’t sugar coat it, Doc.”

Zeke: “Your Cholesterol is normal. Great HDL’s. Low LDL’s. Blood sugar is within acceptable ranges. Why, even your prostate is sparkling good. Your colon cancer screening was clean. I don’t understand it. You’re still overweight. You don’t go to the gym. What’s going on?

Zeke: “I stopped watching the news. I decided I’m not letting any politician take away my happiness.”

Doctor: “I wish I thought of that.”

Don’t let any fool take away your happiness. Give the fools a deaf ear and enjoy life.


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