Stand and Deliver (a Hug): The Parenting Hack That Could Save Your Marriage

What started as a simple strategy to stop sibling squabbles may just be the ultimate peace treaty for adults, too. Before you storm off—try standing one foot apart and seeing what happens. Just don’t forget to pack snacks and patience.

My five daughters were all born fairly close together. We called it the Cape Catholic countdown, Lol. With the girls so close together, there were times when they didn’t get along. They’d demand that either my wife or I took sides. We didn’t fall for that trap. We did however come up with a creative solution that worked. Let’s say daughters two and three were having an argument. We found the best way to settle the argument was to have them stand face-to-face, just a foot apart, and stay that way until  they could resolve the issue they were fighting over. Within two minutes, we’d hear them laughing. They never resolved the issue, but they forgot what it was about. I think that’s a good lesson for adults too. We get in squabbles. We can’t help it. I think it must be in our DNA. What if we stood in the middle of the room facing each other until we reached some kind of agreement? Maybe we adults don’t have to stand in the middle of the room, but maybe we can agree not to leave the room until we reach agreement. That might mean we have to camp out for two or three weeks. Dialogue has to start someplace if common ground is to be found. If it can be done civilly, there would be many more happy relationships. Don’t forget to pack a lunch for you and your partner as you stand 1 foot apart until you decide whose parents will you see for Thanksgiving..