Your Happiness Called—It’s Cheering for Someone Else

Want to be truly happy? Stop hogging the spotlight and start clapping wildly for someone else’s standing ovation.

“To be able to share in another’s joy, that is the secret of happiness.” Georges Bernanos

When I think of the happiest moments in my life, and I’ve had many of them, those at the top of my list were when I rejoiced in an achievement of someone I loved. Tears streamed down my face when a daughter played her doctoral clarinet recital. I couldn’t tell where the music came from. Was it the clarinet or her, or a combination. I felt overwhelming happiness and gratitude when a daughter told me that she received an appointment as an endowed chair at her university. I think there’s something about moving out of self-centeredness into other-centeredness that makes all the difference. When we move out of our self-centeredness into other-centeredness, we let go of our selfishness, we let go of our tendency toward narcissism, and we realize we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. Each time we leave our self-centeredness and move into other-centeredness we become transformed. We give a part of ourselves to the other. We let them know that they are noticed, respected, and applauded for what they did. It makes all the difference.

❓ 3 Engaging Questions:

1. When was the last time you ugly cried from someone else’s success—and did it involve a clarinet solo?
2. What’s more fulfilling: getting the gold medal or being the person screaming, “That’s my baby!” in the stands?
3. How often do you trade your mirror for a megaphone and use it to lift someone else up?