Attending a grieving group helped me. The first group I attended didn’t work out. But M pushed me to try another group and it was very beneficial. Listen to Episode 5 on my Podcast: Journey from Grief to Healing
https://raycalabrese.podbean.com/e/my-grieving-group-experience/
courage
Thinking Out Loud: What Is Your Image of Your Future?
Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.
“Organizations are heliotropic in character in the sense that organizational actions have an observable and largely automatic tendency to move in the direction of images of the future.” P. 18
Note: The authors are speaking of organizations. I believe what they are saying can be applied to human beings. I lived in a high rise apartment building in Columbus, Ohio. The population comprised of people from all age demographics. The young people were mostly Ohio State University students. Their image of the future was one of hope and dreams of what they could do with the rest of their life. They were filled with energy. Many of the older people had an image of life that it was over. A friend I knew, I’ll call him Bob was sitting in a chair in the lobby. He hadn’t shaved and looked depressed. I walked over to him and asked him how he was doing. I could tell from our conversation that he had given up. It was apparent in the way he was taking care of himself. Three weeks later Bob was carried out on a stretcher and taken to a mortuary. His image of the future was death; it contrasted with the image of life held by the college-aged students. What image do you want to have for your life one of life or one of death. Appreciative inquiry proposes that holding positive images of the future shape the actions we take to make that image real.
Thinking Out Loud: Dream on Dreamers
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Cervantes work, Don Quixote.
“He did not care to put off any longer the execution of his design urged on to it by the thought of all the world was losing by his delay, seeing what wrongs he intended to right, grievances to redress, injustices to repair, abuses to remove, and duties to discharge.”― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote
Note: Have you had a great dream? The dream of a fool? Did someone accuse you of being a Don Quixote? If you have, congratulations to you. You had the courage to follow your dream. What appears to be foolish to others is real to dreamers. I imagine the conspiracy theorists of the 15th century probably said Columbus’s discovery of American didn’t happen. It was fabricated. People who dare to dream and to follow their dream regardless of the shouts of the naysayers are the people who make a difference. Do you have a great dream? Grasp hold of it, pull it tightly to you, toss what you need in your backpack and head off in pursuit of it. We need you.
“The Flower” a Poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson
The Flower
Lord Alfred Tennyson
Once in a golden hour
I cast to earth a seed.
Up there came a flower,
The people said, a weed.
To and fro they went
Thro’ my garden bower,
And muttering discontent
Cursed me and my flower.
Then it grew so tall
It wore a crown of light,
But thieves from o’er the wall
Stole the seed by night.
Sow’d it far and wide
By every town and tower,
Till all the people cried,
“Splendid is the flower!”
Read my little fable:
He that runs may read.
Most can raise the flowers now,
For all have got the seed.
And some are pretty enough,
And some are poor indeed;
And now again the people
Call it but a weed.
The Courage to Dare – An Inspiring Quote by Virgil
Fortune sides with he who dares
Virgil
Today’s Poem ~ Love’s Latern by Joyce Kilmer
Love’s Latern
Joyce Kilmer
Because the road was steep and long And through a dark and lonely land, God set upon my lips a song And put a lantern in my hand. Through miles on weary miles of night That stretch relentless in my way My lantern burns serene and white, An unexhausted cup of day. O golden lights and lights like wine, How dim your boasted splendors are. Behold this little lamp of mind: It is more starlike than a star! Source
Thinking Out Loud ~ Are You Being Duped? Check Out Today’s Aesop’s Fable
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Aesop’s Fable, The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing. Aesop’s Fables is available for free download here.
The Fable
“A Wolf resolved to disguise himself in order that he might prey
upon a flock of sheep without fear of detection. So he clothed
himself in a sheepskin, and slipped among the sheep when they were
out at pasture. He completely deceived the shepherd, and when the
flock was penned for the night he was shut in with the rest. But
that very night as it happened, the shepherd, requiring a supply of
mutton for the table, laid hands on the Wolf in mistake for a
Sheep, and killed him with his knife on the spot.”
Note: Some folks consider themselves clever. They believe they’re smarter than everyone else; they believe they can manipulate everyone else. They do, until the people who are being taken advantage of decide enough is enough and confront the situation demanding honesty. It’s not always easy because the clever ones couch their motives as if they are working in our best interests when they are serving their self interests. In the end karma catches up to them. When we measure a person’s words through his/her actions we can see if they are working in our best interests or if they have another scheme afoot. We are not powerless. We don’t have to be duped.
Thinking Out Loud ~ Is It Time to Test Your Perceptions?
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Aesop’s Fable, The Hares and the Frogs. Aesop’s Fables is available for free download here.
The Fable
“The Hares once gathered together and lamented the unhappiness of
their lot, exposed as they were to dangers on all sides and lacking
the strength and the courage to hold their own. Men, dogs, birds
and beasts of prey were all their enemies, and killed and devoured
them daily: and sooner than endure such persecution any longer,
they one and all determined to end their miserable lives. Thus
resolved and desperate, they rushed in a body towards a
neighboring pool, intending to drown themselves. On the bank were
sitting a number of Frogs, who, when they heard the noise of the
Hares as they ran, with one accord leaped into the water and hid
themselves in the depths. Then one of the older Hares who was wiser
than the rest cried out to his companions, “Stop, my friends, take
heart; don’t let us destroy ourselves after all: see, here are
creatures who are afraid of us, and who must, therefore, be still
more timid than ourselves.”
Note: As an academic I was a qualitative researcher. My students would go with me to fieldsites to conduct our research. The central point of our research was to gain qualitative data chiefly through interviews. My students understood they were collecting data and not arguing perceptions with the interviewees. They followed the maxim, perception is reality. What we see may not be accurate. We may be seeing it through biased filters, faulty memories, or our own faulty value system. It takes courage to question our perception, beliefs, and other tenets we live by and test them to see if they are accurate or still viable. If we fail to test them we may continue to live life not perceiving reality. Perhaps you know people whose perceptions are based on something that is not true. It’s difficult to convince them of reality and they may end up diving into the pond (as the hares intended to do).
Thinking Out Loud ~ If We Don’t Bend, We Break
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Aesop’s Fable, The Dog and Sow. Aesop’s Fables is available for free download here.
The Fable
“A Dog and a Sow were arguing and each claimed that its own young
ones were finer than those of any other animal. “Well,” said the
Sow at last, “mine can see, at any rate, when they come into the
world: but yours are born blind.”
Note: I’ve observed arguments between intelligent people who both claim to be right. I noticed when they were arguing there was plenty of room to compromise, yet they couldn’t. They refused to see where they did agree and only could see where they disagreed. Because of their high intelligence they kept making their point and showing where the other was weaker. And this went on and on. Finally, the meeting would end with nothing resolved; they would pick up where they left off at the next meeting. Does this make sense? It doesn’t to me. Yet it happens all the time. It happens in our relationships and in our work life. When we ask ourselves a better questions such as where we agree, or, how can we move forward and resolve this issue Will lead to better results and more peaceful relationships.
