writing

When mob collectors close in and your best friend suggests armed robbery, what’s your escape plan? For Lenny, it wasn’t muscle or bullets

Marty Bennetti Doesn’t Do IOUs

“You got the thousand dollars you owe Bennetti?”

Larry, the beak, DiVito had his right hand around my neck and was lifting me off the ground.

Larry is Marty Bennetti’s administrative assistant. That’s what you call the mob’s debt collector these days. The cops have tried for years to shut Bennetti down, but no body dares to talk. When the police think they have a witness, the witness catches a serious case of amnesia. 

“Larry, I’m short of cash. My mom has a hernia and can’t work. You know how it goes.”

“I don’t know how it goes. I know Mr. Bennetti is out a grand. I will stop by to collect the money day after tomorrow. I don’t want Mr. Bennetti disappointed. You hear what I’m saying?”

“I’ll do my best ”

“You gotta do better than your best. When you win, does Mr. Bennetti tell you he will do his best to pay you off?”

“Ah … “

“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking rhetorically. As I was saying. Does Mr. Bennetti tell you to come back next week to collect your winnings? No he does not. See you the day after tomorrow.”

There’s no way I can legitimately come up with a grand. Two weeks ago, my buddy, Johnny, couldn’t pay Marty Bennetti and Bennetti sent DiVito to break his left arm. He told Johnny pay up next week or he’ll  break the other arm.

An hour later I was at s coffee shop trying to bum cash from my best friend Pete Cardozo.

“No can do, Lenny. I’m walking on thin ice, you know what I mean? Besides, DiVito is not so tough. I think you can take him.”

“He grabbed me by the neck with his right hand and lifted me off the ground. You still think I can take him?”

“If you got a lucky punch in. You want me to see if I find brass knuckles?”

“I don’t need brass knuckles. I need a stroke of luck.”

“You come to the right guy, Lenny.”

“What you got?”

“I been thinking of hitting the liquor store on Grove Street for a couple of months,” Pete suggested.

“I’d be a three time loser if I get caught and that means life.”

“That’s cause you don’t plan. Me? I’m like NASA I plan until I’m ready to take my moon shot and stick the landing. Hear me out.”

The door opens and DiVito walks in. He stares at me. Puts two fingers to his eyes and twists them to point at me.

“I don’t like the way DiVito was looking at you, Lenny. You got no choice but to hit the liquor store with me,” Pete whispers.

Pete was right. I didn’t have a choice. Pete and me decided to do a walk through tonight.

Eight hours later I’m riding shotgun in Pete’s Honda. 

Pete pulled into the parking lot of a mom and pop store across from the liquor store. He parked so we could face the liquor store.

“Only the counter guy is there, I say we hit it now?” Pete said reaching over to open the glove box. He pulled out two guns.

“No guns, Pete. That’s armed robbery. Besides we gotta case the place. And, you haven’t told me your perfect plan.”

“I got too excited. You go over and give the place the once or twice over. Buy something so the counter guy don’t get suspicions.” 

Ten minutes later I was in the Honda. 

“You are not going to believe this, Pete.”

“What?”

“Member you told me to buy something.”

“Yah, so?”

“I bought one of them scratch off tickets. And, I scratched it.”

“Did you hit something?”

“DiVito is gonna have a tough time breaking my arms next week.”

“You won a thousand bucks? You gotta give me a finders fee. You wouldn’t  a bought a ticket here if I didn’t take you. Besides I told you to buy something.” 

“No way I’m giving you a finder’s fee, Pete.”

“You’re not? We been best buds since our mom’s got knocked up with us.”

“Pete, I won a trip for two for two weeks all expenses paid to Hawaii. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“What about DiVito?”

“We can hit the liquor store when we come back.”