He’s Taking Selfies To Post On Tinder

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Farlo’s riding a bicycle, Tina is running alongside him. Joey is running alongside Tina.

“How far are you going, Farlo? I think we’ve been running for a half hour,” said Joey.

“Wimp. The Kenyans run for hours. They’re running up mountains. They’re running down mountains. They run to the coast so they can run in the ocean. Take a hint from Tina, she’s not even breathing hard. Suck it up, kid,” said Farlo

“At least tell me more about our job. Who’s Harry J? Why do we have to rescue him? Is it dangerous? Can I decide after you answer these questions if I want to go?”

“You’re not cleared to know. Do I look like I know Harry J?”

Joey interrupted Farlo, “Does he spell his last name Jay?”

“No, it’s only a letter. Before you ask it, I don’t know what his last name is. Filo only give the amount of information he thinks necessary to accomplish the mission.”

“Doesn’t it bother you? It bothers me,” said Joey.

“You’ll never get ahead in the organization with that attitude.”

“I don’t want to get ahead in the organization. I want to see the lease agreement for the room you rented in my house,” said Joey.

“I can’t give it to you. I gave it to Filo.”

“Who’s Filo?”

“See that hill? Sprint up the hill. Tina and I will be waiting at the top with your electrolyte drink,” said Farlo pushing harder on the pedals and leaving Joey behind.

“Hey Farlo, this isn’t fair. You can downshift, I can’t,” Joey hollered to Farlo’s back.”

An hour later, Farlo, Tina, and Joey sit in Joey’s car in the parking lot of Heavenly Happiness Assisted Care Facility.

Farlo watched an ambulance wheel a patient in. Ten minutes later he watched an ambulance wheel a patient out. Five minutes later a hearse pulled up and two somber looking dudes ready for Halloween pushed a gurney inside.  Joey, who now earned his smart phone back, was taking selfies. Tina was photo bombing Joey’s selfies.

Farlo glanced over at Joey, “Put that thing away. Get your head in the game. It’s almost go time.”

Joey looked over at Farlo, “I’m taking selfies to post on Tinder.”

“You’re not ready for dating. You’re heading for one disappointment after another.”

“You’re jealous because I have good looks and a great personality. The two things you wish you had, no offense intended,” said Joey snapping another selfie. Tina’s head resting on his shoulder.

“I think Tina being in my photos is going to help. The ladies like a guy with a dog. They figure if a guy can take care of a dog, he knows how to make a commitment.”

“Where’d you hear that crap,” snapped Farlo.

“I read it online on how to pick up women,” said Joey.

“What loser wrote that?” said Farlo.

“It was written by a bartender. You know bartenders give the best advice.”

Farlo’s left hand shot out like a bolt of lightning. He snagged Joey’s smart phone and stuck it in his pants’ pocket.

“What are you doing? I earned it back. Give it to me,” demanded Joey.

“You lost it for 48 hours.”

“Why?”

“Read the manual. It’s on page 73 paragraph 4,” said Farlo.

“But I don’t have the manual,” said Joey.

“Tough luck. We’re going in. Follow me,” Farlo got out the passenger side door. Tina jumped into the front seat and followed Farlo. Joey got out the driver’s side door and came around the car. He positioned himself to Farlo’s left side. Joey wanted proximity to the pocket that contained his smartphone.

“Don’t even think about it, you could lose a finger,” said Farlo as he started toward the door.

“Do I get credit for initiative?” asked Joey.

“No.”

“What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to rescue Harry J. No more questions.”

Will they rescue Harry J. from the assisted care facility? Who’s Filo? Why doesn’t Joey have a copy of the manual?

Commit To Pursuing The Dream

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It’s time to take the dream off the shelf and set in front of us. It time to set aside everything that’s kept us from going after the dream we’ve talked about, dreamt about, and desired. It time to make the commitment to hold nothing back and to rest only when we have achieved our dream. Get Inspired with this YouTube video.

Dirty Socks Under the Bed?

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“Rise and shine you rug rat. You’re snoozing, you’re losing,” Farlo’s command barked from the kitchen. Tina barked twice.

“Ready for inspection,” Joey said from the bedroom.

Farlo patted Tina on the head, smiled for a brief second, turned his smile into a growl, walked to Joey’s bedroom, opened the door, and said, “I’m kicking it up a notch this morning. I’ve been giving you the preschool to build your confidence.”

Joey said, “I’m ready for anything you can throw at me.”

Farlo touched Tina’s head, “Check under the bed for dirty socks, pot, amphetamines, hotdogs, sugary cereals, pizza, and Playboy magazines.”

Tina barked once, lowered herself to her belly and crawled under the bed. While Tina ferreted around under the bed, Farlo examined Joey. He looked at Joey’s Nike’s. They were clean. He checked Joey’s jeans. They were washed and ironed. He checked Joey’s t-shirt. It was clean and without lettering. He rubbed a forefinger along Joey’s cheek checking for stubble. It was smooth as a baby’s butt. Farlo said nothing. He walked around the bed, the teddy bear was gone. There was not a wrinkle on the bed. Tina emerged from under the bed. She had a dirty sock in her mouth.

“Aha, I knew it was too good to be true. What is this sock doing under your bed?” demanded Farlo.

“Resting or hiding from its mate,” said Joey without a trace of a smile.

“A smartass. Is that what I have on my hands,” asked Farlo.

“You know it. I lost fifteen pounds. I can do forty pushups, one hundred sit-ups, a plank for thirty seconds, and I can run two miles.”

“You think you’re hot shit, don’t you,” said Farlo.

“Matter of fact, I do,” said Joey.

“You think I’m going to let you eat that crap you like to eat just because you think you’re doing good. Well, here’s a news flash, you’re not. It’s off limits. It’s out of bounds. It’s contraband. What do you think of that?” asked Farlo sounding meaner than an angry pit bull.

“I gave it all up. I like eating healthy. It fits with my new self-image.’

“Which is what, poster child for save the dolphins? Snapped Farlo.

“I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m not the old Joey, I’m me. You can call me Joe, or you can call me Joseph, but you can’t call me Joey.

“I’ll call you whatever I want to call you. If I tell you to eat crackers and spit bullets, you do it. If I tell you keep running into a brick wall until it crumbles, you do it. If I tell you to get me a pizza and you can’t have any you do it.”

“Hey, the last one’s not fair.

“Aha, I found your weak link. If you get taken prisoner, they’ll use it against you. They’ll put pizza just out of your reach to torment you. They’ll turn you into a sniveling, shriveling peace of old pepperoni and toss you in the garbage,” said Farlo.

Farlo heard a ding on his iWatch 3. He looked at it. He looked back at Joey, He said, “Eat up. We’re on a mission from Filo.”

Joey said, “A real mission? I’m really, really going on a real mission?”

“I hope you’re man enough.”

“What’s the assignment?”

“I’ll get the full dossier later, right now, all I know is we’re assigned to rescue Harry J before his execution.”

“It sounds dangerous,” said Joey.

“Make sure you have a living will ready before we take off. If you don’t I’m going to tell them to take you off life support even if you’re breathing, speaking coherently, and are fully aware of your surroundings.”

“You can’t do that because I’ll tell them you can’t do that to me.”

“Remember those thirty papers you signed yesterday and got tired of reading them halfway through?” asked Farlo.

“Yes?” Joes now letting anxiety creep into his voice.

“Your last signature gave me power of attorney over your entire life.”

“I’m telling Filo.”

The fab twosome are on their first real assignment – will they survive? Who are they going to rescue? Why did Filo give them the assignment? Who’s Filo?

The Greater The Challenge – The Greater The Courage

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What would you do if you were perfectly healthy and the next moment, doctors told you you’d never walk again? Would you give up? Would you RSVP to a pity party? In the following video you’ll see a man confronted with this challenge. decided to help others and has become an inspiration to others. Get Inspired. 

 

Bouncing Back Trailer from Lifetree on Vimeo.

The Dogs Been Grilling for 24 Hours

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Farlo hobbled around the car, Tina followed him. He opened Joey’s door before Joey thought to lock it. Farlo bent over and leaned in going eyeball to eyeball with Joey. “We can do this hard way or we can do this really, really hard way. What way do you want it?”

“Can you accept the voluntary way?” said Joey hoping Farlo didn’t whack him.

“We got two minutes and counting. We won’t have this chance for a week. Are you coming voluntarily or am I going to drag your sorry butt across the parking lot?”

“I said I was volunteering. You make too many snap judgments,” said Joey. He unbuckled his seat belt. He slid out of his seat and stood up outside the car.

Joey said, “I’m going, but under protest. I intend to file a grievance with Filo whenever I meet him.”

“You’re not cleared to meet him. Let’s go. It’s go time,” snapped Farlo half hobbling with his cane, half jogging. Tina walked along side Farlo. Joey walked alongside Tina.

They reached the entrance door to the 7-Eleven. Farlo held up his hand for Joey to stop. He stared inside. The clerk nervously stood behind the counter. The taller of the two men was in the back of the 7-Eleven near the cold beer. The shorter of the two was surveying the candy and gum section.

Joey said, “You think they’re going to rob this place? Call 911 and let’s get out of here.”

Farlo looked at Joey, and said, “Turn around.”

Joey did as Farlo asked.

“Just as I thought, no backbone,” said Farlo then he checked his Apple 3 watch. “We’ve got 45 seconds. Then we’re going in. You follow me. I know you don’t have my back. Tina does.”

“Who has my back?” asked Joey.

At that moment, two pickups, a motorcycle, a beat-up Chevy Malibu, and a college kid on a skateboard came into the parking lot. Farlo turned and took it all in. He looked at Joey, “The numbers are against us. If we don’t move now, we don’t have a chance. Listen up kid, this is your first test, you pass it, I’ll make a note on your weekly evaluation I text to Filo.”

Before Joey could say, “Who’s Filo?” Farlo pushed open the door and headed toward the back. The clerk dived to the floor behind the counter. Tina was on Farlo’s heels. Joey was thinking about diving over the counter and joining the clerk. Farlo reached the back aisle when the 7-Eleven door opened for another customer. He turned to his right, he exclaimed, “I made it. We’re first in line. The dogs have been grilling for twenty-four hours.” Tina barked.

The tall guy fell in line behind Joey, the short guy fell in line behind the tall guy. The first pickup driver fell in line behind the short guy. The second pickup driver fell in line behind the first pickup driver. The skateboard college kid fell in the line behind the second pickup truck driver. As for the beat-up Chevy Malibu driver, he headed to the men’s room.

The tall guy said, “I didn’t know you were in town, Farlo. What are you doing here?”

Farlo turned around, three dogs in one hand, each one in a soft hot bun. Two of dogs with relish and mustard, The third with mustard only, Filo gave the other two to Tina, who finished them within seven point four seconds. A good time, not her personal best. She wanted to enjoy the taste.

Filo looked at the tall “Son of a gun, I didn’t recognize you, Flakes. You lost weight.How they hanging?”

“Thanks for noticing. I’m down ten pounds on my all dog diet.”

Joey stared at Farlo, then he stared at Flakes. Then he stared at the little guy. Farlo turned toward Joey, “Get three dogs for Tina, none for you. You haven’t earned them.”

“What? This is not fair. I love 7-Eleven grilled for 24-hours hotdogs. They got the perfect combination of wrinkles, nitrates, chemicals, and meat waste products. They’re always sold out when I try to get one.”

“Tough noogies,” said Farlo.

Flakes said, “The punk’s got a lot to learn, Farlo.”

The short guy came around with his Snicker’s candy bar, “Hey Farlo, waz happening?”

“Bones, what’s shakin?” said Farlo.

“A little bit of this, a lot of dat. Who’s da baby?”

Farlo said, “He’s my reclamation project, his name is Joey.”

“What a minute. I’m not a baby. I’m not a punk. I’m a dude.”

“Dat’s a baby’s name. You don’t got no street name? How you gonna have street cred? How you gonna run with the big dog here?” said Bones.

“I don’t need street cred. I already got it,” said Joey.

“The only thing you probably got is a GI Joe you hide under your pillow,” said Flakes. Flakes and Bones high fived.

“Do not,” said Joey.

Farlo said, “No, he doesn’t have a GI Joe. He has a stuffed bear on his pillow.”

A fist bump, a high five, and several minutes of laughter later, Farlo said, “You boys take care of the job Filo sent you on? It was a rough one.”

“Filo’s the man, Farlo. I don’t know what he doesn’t know. What I want to know is how does a guy his age have all the women chasing after him. You know da answer?”

“I do, Bones, but it’s classified. You and Flakes got a class five security clearance, you need a class twenty. There are only two people who got it,” said Farlo.

“Who? And, BTW, the name is Joe-mo,” said Joey.

“Dat da best you can do? They gonna eat you up when Farlo has you fly solo,” said Bones.

“I’m working on it,” said Joey.

Farlo said, “The two people with security clearance twenty? Filo and me.”

“Who’s Filo? When do I get to meet him? Can I see the company manual? I want to read the grievance process,” said Joey or Joe-mo.

Farlo shook his head, took a bite of hotdog, fed the rest to Tina. He fist bumped Bones and Flakes. Then he said, “Joey, take the hotdog out of your pocket and give it to Tina.”

Who’s Filo? Who does Farlo work for? Is it a secret government agency? What kind of job did Flakes and Bones do?

A Lesson In Teamwork

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I’m not a surfer. I like the ocean and I like to swim. But surfing is something I watch. I’m amazed by a surfer’s athleticism. In the following, under one minute Vimeo video, two surfers give me a lesson on teamwork. We need each other if we are to make it through the tough times. They inspired me to always offer a hand and to accept one as well.


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/85587335″>Sharing is caring</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/garethsheehan”>Gareth Sheehan</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

You Think I’m Stupid

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Joey sat behind the wheel of his beat up, dinged up, dented up, bald tires, and cracked windshield eighteen-year-old Honda with 300,000 miles on it. Farlo sat next to him. Tina lied on the back seat. The car was parked on the edge of the lot of a 7-Eleven.

Farlo sipped his Starbucks’ coffee. Joey glared at him. “When do I get coffee?”

“When I think you’re clean.”

“I’ve been clean for ten days.”

Farlo said, “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. You ever hear that quote?”

Joey said, “You think I’m stupid. Of course, I heard it.”

“Who said it?” demanded Farlo.

“You got the quote wrong. You didn’t even quote it right.”

Farlo moved his head slightly to the left to glance at Joey, “If I find any hallucinogens in the house I’ll hang you upside down with a rope around your feet from the oak tree in back and let Tina use you for attack practice.”

“I said I was clean I never tried that stuff. But the quote is and I’m certain I’m right, “One large step for a small woman and an even bigger step for a tall woman. Marcy Bloomberg said it on E! I’m sure that’s it. So, you’re wrong.”

Farlo twisted in his seat, “If we weren’t on the job, I’d smack you across your head and knock some stuff around, you are one sorry case.”

“You wanna bet who’s right, or are you chicken? What are you saying, I don’t hear you. I see your lips moving,” said Joey.

In a flash, Farlo’s left are shot out straight and caught Joey by the neck. Farlo’s thumb pressed into Joey’s windpipe, his fingers squeezed on the back of Joey’s neck. Joey gagged, “You’re killing me. Stop.”

“I’m not killing you. I’m giving you tough love. That’s what the manual calls it. Now admit you made it up.”

“I didn’t. Ouch. Yes, yes, I made it up,” coughed Joey.

Farlo released his head. Tina, now on her haunches on the backseat, her head rested on the top of Farlo’s seat.

Farlo said, “Repeat after me. I will not bullshit Farlo ever again.” He tightened his grip on Joey’s throat.

“I will not bullshit Farlo ever again,” said Joey. He sounded like a cat tossing up a hairball.

Farlo released his grip. He turned his attention back to the 7-Eleven.

“What manual are you talking about?” asked Joey rubbing his throat with his left hand.

“The one Filo wrote,” said Farlo.

Farlo took the top of his coffee and blew the aroma towards Joey.

“That’s cruel. You don’t have to worry about a heart attack, because you don’t have one,” said Joey.

Farlo put the cover back on his coffee, took a sip and stared into the 7-Eleven. A nondescript white van pulled into the parking lot. It didn’t have a front license plate. It drove slowly around the lot and pulled in front of the 7-Eleven.

“You see that?” asked Farlo.

“What?” asked Joey.

“The van. What are you doing, fantasizing about the date you’ll never have because no woman in right mind will ever date you.”

“I’m not choosy, she doesn’t have to be in her right mind,” said Joey.

“Look, it doesn’t have a license plate, front or back,” said Farlo.

“So? Maybe their test driving it from the dealership,” said Joey.

Two men got out of the van. One from the driver’s side, the other from the passenger side. The driver, a five foot four-inch slim guy was wearing s dark hoodie with the hood pulled up over his head. The other man, six-inches taller, was heavy. He looked like he was in training to be a sumo wrestler. He wore a black stocking hat pulled down tight and stopping at the edge of eyebrows. The shorter said something to the taller man and pointed at Joey’s car. They stared at it, mumbled something between them, turned and went in the 7-Eleven.

Joey’s eyes were closed. He was massaging his neck and throat. Farlo punched Joey on the bicep, “It’s go time. Follow my lead.”

Joey rubbed his bicep. “Hey, that hurts. Can’t you say, ‘Joey, it’s go time.’ No you can’t you have to use brute force. What’s go time? What are we doing? Are you going to rob the 7-Eleven? I’m not going.”

What is happening at the 7-Eleven? What is go-time? Did Joey learn his lesson? Who is Filo?

The Road Less Traveled

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Our lives are made up of choices. We constantly choose between competing alternatives. Most of the times the choices are easy. Sometime the choices are difficult. We may ask ourselves if we should play it safe. Or, should we risk venturing into an unknown future trusting in an inner GPS to guide us. The following Vimeo video is about choices and I know you’ll enjoy Robert Frost reading his famous poem, “The Road Less Traveled.”

 

I Don’t Want To Eat It

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Five days later.

“Farlo! Farlo! I lost five pounds. Come here, you got to see this,” shouted Joey from the bathroom.

From the kitchen card table, “You’ve got ten more to go.” Tina barked.

Five minutes later from Joey’s bedroom, “Farlo! Farlo! My belly isn’t hanging over my belt. You’ve got to see this,” an excited Joey said.

From the kitchen card table, “You’ve got two more inches to lose to get rid of the love handles.” Tina barked.

“Farlo! Farlo! I’m ready for inspection,” hollered Joey.

Farlo bent over, rubbed Tina on the back of her head, “We’re making progress. But I don’t want him to get a big head.” Tina barked.

Farlo stood up and got off the beer keg being used as a kitchen chair. He grabbed hold of his cane, and walked with a bit of a limp to Joey’s bedroom. The door was already open. Joey stood ramrod straight as if he were a West Point cadet. Farlo walked up to him, examined Joey’s face. Nodded with approval at the military style haircut Joey got yesterday at Zip and Clip for ten bucks. He let his eyes move down to Joey’s t-shirt. It was clean.

Farlo growled, “Turn around.”

“Do I have to?” asked Joey.

Tina barked.

“Okay, okay. But it’s clean. So what if it has some printing on the back?”

Farlo read the printing on the back of Joey’s t-shirt, “It’s Always A Happy Ending At Luis’s. Take it off and burn it. It’s not going to Goodwill.”

“But that’s where I got it. It’s just like new and it only cost fifty cents.”

“Burn it.”

“Do you ever lighten up?” asked Joey.

“I did once, twelve years ago and regretted it ever since,” growled Farlo.

Farlo and Tina walked slowly around the bed. Joey had hospital corners. The sheets were clean and pulled tight. What is that teddy bear doing on your pillow?”

“It’s not a Teddy bear. It’s the mascot for the Chicago Bears,” said Joey.

“The way they’re playing, they’re teddy bears. Losers,” barked Farlo. Then he added, “You passed inspection, your breakfast is on the card table.”

Joey waited until Farlo and Tina left the room. He made the sign of the cross for passing inspection. He took off his Luis’s t-shirt and tossed it in a trash can. He slipped on a plain white tee. Joey then went into the kitchen, pulled out his keg and sat down and stared at two pieces of whole wheat toast with avocado mashed on top of them. A glass of fresh orange juice was to the right of his plate. And, a bowl of plain strawberries to the left of the plate.

“Is this all I get to eat?”

“Yes.”

“What is this green stuff? I don’t like the looks of it.”

“Eat it.”

“I don’t want to eat it. I might throw up.”

“Then go hungry.”

“You’ve got to learn to have more interesting conversations, Farlo. Anybody ever tell you that?”

“Yah, and after he picked his ass off the floor he apologized. I’m giving you a pass this once.”

Joey ate his strawberries. He drank his juice. He stared at the avocado covered toast. His stomach was rumbling. It needed food, fast. Out of sheer desperation, he picked up a piece of the green mushy covered toast and brought it near his nose and sniffed it. Tina liked his style.

Joey set it back down and took his fork and pick off a bit of the avocado and let it touch his tongue. He picked up the toast and took a bite. “What’s this green stuff called? It come in a jar? Do you have to special order it. It’s pretty good.”

Farlo, instead of answering Joey, turned to Tina, “Do you think Filo is punishing me by sending me here?” Tina barked.

Joey was working on his second piece of toast, his mouth partially full, he mumbled, “What are we going to do today?”

Farlo finished chewing his toast with avocado on top. After he swallowed he said, “The first thing you’re going to do is learn not to speak with food in your mouth. It’s bad manners. The second thing, and I’m taking a big risk but Filo insists. I’m taking you out on a small job with me.”

Joey started to speak, but saw Farlo and Tina glaring at him. Joey chewed, swallowed, and then said, “What kind of job?”

“It’s a minimum security job. It’s all you qualify for now.”

“I need a security clearance? Exactly, what kind of work do you do?”

“You already asked your quota of questions for today. Now, clean the table, wash and put away the dishes, brush your teeth and clean the bathroom, stat.”

“I wish you’d say, please.”

Tina growled.

Joey got to work.

What kind of job is Farlo talking about? What exactly does Farlo do? Why would Joey need a security clearance? Who’s Filo?

Turning Tragedy Into Triumph

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Have you ever been knocked down? Knocked flat on your back? There is only one option, get back up and get going. It’s hard, really hard. And, at times, seemingly impossible. When we get up off the mat, rise, and begin again, it is a personal triumph. The following  short YouTube video tells one man’s story of getting up and going on. Get Inspired by his story.

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