Know your boundaries and stick to them. Having boundaries will work to keep you emotionally safe and happy.
A mentor passed along this guide to me in defining my boundaries. My mentor suggested I make a list under two headings: Heading 1: I Am This. Heading 2. I Am Not This. Work at it and you’ll instinctively know what belongs in each column.
Reclaim a bit of personal time and space each day. A small block of time away from the pressures, chaos, and responsibilities of the day will recharge you. Don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself!
Identify and Use Your strengths
We all have different strengths and weaknesses but finding out what you are really good at and using those talents can increase wellbeing. Using your strengths to help others or contribute to the community creates a sense of meaning and purpose.
The past is the past. It’s gone. Detaching from mistakes, worries, and regrets may lead to more lighthearted times. Letting go of resentment and hurt feelings is a decision to stop suffering. Choose to be happy.
Summon the strength you have inside. Learn to access and direct your strengths to the highest good for all concerned. Believe that your strength and intelligence can help you deal with anything. Remember that you have survived worse.
Be friends with life. Remember that the world is not out to get you and it does not punish you. You do that to yourself. Learning to focus on other opportunities or in another direction can give you some perspective.
Offer Gratitude
Whatever you have in life and wherever you are, you can find some reason to be grateful. Today, you may be anxious, but you showed up, for instance. Acknowledging your own good fortune—no matter how seemingly slight or minimal at the moment—can actually enhance your overall well-being.
Researchers have found that being truly grateful for what you have can yield important physical benefits—we sleep better and enjoy better relationships! Researchers have also found that your level of gratitude is inversely proportion to your level of depressed feelings or sadness. The more grateful you are in life, the better the chances are that you will actually enjoy what you have!
When You’re Feeling Lonely, Do This …
Did you know that simply imagining that you are being smiled at by someone you love is just as powerfully healing as having that person present?
Close your eyes for a moment. Now, imagine being with someone you love and who cares about you and who isn’t here with you today. Now, imagine this person offering you a warm smile. Once you’ve locked that image in place, take a deep breath and slowly open your eyes. Did you find you were smiling just thinking about that special person’s smile? Did you feel warmth around their heart, like a hug, as you imagined that person? Yep, it works almost every time!
Make Cheerfulness Your Default Demeanor
There are plenty of old songs that encourage us to “put on a happy face” or “smile when your heart is breaking,” or “don’t worry, be happy.” Many of us may feel a little confused about why we are always encouraging people to “lie” to themselves.
Actually, there is a Zen koan or saying that states simply, “Practice smiling while peeling carrots.” My yoga instructor always encourages us to smile during the most difficult poses. She asks the question, “Are you smiling because you are happy or are you happy because you are smiling?”
Some people can be described as “the type of person who’s never met a stranger.” These are people who meet the world with a pleasant temperament and an openness to new people and new experiences – regardless of who may be placed in their path on any given day.
Friendliness is about offering warmth and good humor to those around you. It is about being willing to make the first move socially while recognizing that others may be a little slow to warm up and that the rewards for friendliness are not always immediately enjoyed. I once worked with a vibrant and delightful woman in her 70s who avowed that “every day is a new opportunity to add to your collection of friends!” She couldn’t count the number of friends she had and she couldn’t find words to describe the pleasure they brought her in life.
