NOTE: Kindness heals, it binds wounds, and releases the grip anger holds on us. Each time we act kindly toward another we act as a healer. And, in the same act, the healer is also healed.
Humor has long been recognized for its healing power, both physically and emotionally. Laughter and humor can help to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and can even have physical benefits such as lowering blood pressure and boosting the immune system.
One of the primary ways that humor helps to heal is by providing a sense of perspective and helping people to see their problems in a different light. Humor can help to diffuse tension and make difficult situations more manageable, and can also help people to connect with others and feel less isolated.
In addition to its emotional and social benefits, humor also has physical benefits. When we laugh, our bodies release endorphins, which are natural painkillers that can help to reduce physical pain and boost our overall sense of well-being.
Overall, humor can be a powerful tool for healing and can help people to cope with a wide range of challenges, from everyday stressors to more serious health conditions.
“It only takes a minute to cause hurt but sometimes a lifetime to repair. Be careful with your words and actions.”
Forgive. Harboring a grudge against a family member, co-worker, neighbor, a merchant or manufacturer, friend or someone you casually know doesn’t bode well for your mental health and overall well-being. In fact, it does long-term damage to your psyche. Find it in your heart to forgive, not just those you feel are responsible, but also yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone the behavior, however. It does allow that negativity to be released, allowing you to move forward with your life.
NOTE: Each moment we hold on to our pain, hurt, or resentments we injure ourselves again and again. When we forgive the hurt, we release our negative energy and stop re-injuring ourselves. We also provide an opportunity for the person receiving our forgiveness to be healed.
The best way to improve your self-esteem is to treat yourself as you’d treat a valued friend, in a positive but honest way. Notice when you’re putting yourself down, such as thinking, “You’re so stupid for not getting that job”, and instead think, “Would I say that to my best friend?”. You probably wouldn’t. Tell yourself something positive instead, such as: “You’re a bright person, you’ll get the next job”
NOTE: If you don’t love yourself how will you be able to love others? Is it time to forgive yourself for not being perfect? Is it time to release the expectations others have for you and grab hold of the expectations you hold in your heart? Is it time to let go of past wrongs and hurts and let the scars heal? Love yourself and you’ll find how much easier it is to love others.
A Prayer
Paul Laurence Dunbar
O Lord, the hard-won miles
Have worn my stumbling feet:
Oh, soothe me with thy smiles,
And make my life complete.
The thorns were thick and keen
Where’er I trembling trod;
The way was long between
My wounded feet and God.
Where healing waters flow
Do thou my footsteps lead.
My heart is aching so;
Thy gracious balm I need.
It makes sense that when someone kindly holds the door open for us, we benefit by not getting smacked in the face with the door. But research suggests that practicing kindness also significantly improves our own physical well-being. Even after researchers account for differences in factors like age, gender, education, personality and mental health, studies show that kinder behavior is linked to having fewer health problems—such as heart disease, sleep disorders and even hearing loss—and to greater longevity.
Studies have also found that being kind can help lower blood pressure and anxiety. Helping others even lessened symptoms of depression in people who had lost a spouse. Experiments show that doing something kind for someone is more likely to boost your mood and lower your stress than doing something for yourself. Plus, a recent sweeping review of data from nearly 200,000 research participants around the world found that prosocial behavior (things like donating money to charity, volunteering and spontaneously helping out) was linked to better physical and mental health.
What makes these acts of kindness so powerful? Think of life partly as a series of choices. “Each small daily choice we make either nurtures our emotional well-being or aggravates stress, and that helps or hinders our physical health,” Dr. Harding says. Practicing kindness is on the helping side of that equation.
Source: DIGIULIO, S. (2022). Why Being Kind is GOOD for your HEALTH. Good Housekeeping, 273(2), 41–44.
With realistic optimism, you don’t just expect the best and hope that things will go well. Nor do you let yourself see and expect only the worst. Instead, you look at the “big picture,” the good and the bad. You then:
For example, let’s say you are about to have a knee surgery. You can choose to be optimistic about your recovery, rather than let fear or hopelessness take hold. Imagine how you want to feel 6 or 12 months after surgery—strong and active. Picture what you want to be doing, how you want to be moving around. Keep these positive, hopeful pictures in your mind.
Note: I had both hips replaced in 2022. My left hip was replaced two and half months ago. I practiced realistic optimism, worked hard in my pre hab and post hab exercises. I am back to full strength and full activity and have been for over a month. Optimism worked for me to get me back to the gym and being physically active. It can work for you as well.
Hope is about leaving room for something good to happen. Optimism is about having hope, trusting that things will work out. Hope and optimism are linked to your belief that things will turn out okay when change happens in your life. We know that people can learn to be more optimistic and hopeful, and that engaging in these positive behaviors can improve one’s health. In research studies, optimism and hope have been linked to better physical and mental health outcomes.1 Optimism can help people to have more successful relationships and to be more involved in their community. It can also promote a sense of well-being during difficult times.
Each of us is a composite of stories. I called my brother yesterday and wished him a merry Christmas. During during our conversation we began to share childhood stories. We each had fond memories of where we grew up, the people who lived in the tenements, and our experiences with them. We laughed at windows broken by hit baseballs, playing on railroad tracks, and the nearby river. When we listen to each other’s stories, we discover how similar we are. We discover the differences that separate us are not as great as we imagined. Encourage others to share their stories with you and be willing to share stories as well. Who knows, you may make a new friend or heal a wounded relationship.
