heartbreak

Love, lies, and a an ex’s vengeance leave Joey with a bloody nose, a broken TV, and a smile he can’t explain.

Smiling in the Shattered Glass

Gail is five-foot-four, never topped 110 pounds. I’m six-two, and a hundred pounds heavier. Her slap loosened two teeth and gave me a bloody nose. That was the end of us. Or maybe the beginning of my biggest mistake. This is how it went down.

I’m a bartender at The Last Round, big enough to double as the bouncer. Thursday night was packed—half-price drinks for ladies, and the guys piled in, ignoring the sticky floors and not minding the cheap perfume as long as they could hook up. It didn’t matter to most if they exchanged names or not. I was pouring rum and cokes when Nicole walked in and wiggled and flirted her way to the bar.

She was the last person I wanted to see. We broke up six months ago at Vincenzo’s. It’s a trendy Italian bistro. We were eating a pricy meal when out of the blue she’d demanded to know if I was cheating on her. I turned away, hoping Nicole wasn’t grasping the steak knife. I tossed her a goofy smile, shrugged, and said, “I was meaning to tell you.”

 I thought Nicole was going to dive across the table and thrust the steak knife into my chest. 

“Who’s the bitch?” Nicole demanded to know my lover’s name.

 I wouldn’t give it to her. She carefully set the knife down, glared at me, and tossed the remainder  of her wine into my face and stormed out. I was left with the bill, a ruined shirt, and my freedom.  

Later, when I went to our apartment to get my stuff, I found it dumped into the parking lot from her third-floor balcony. My PlayStation? Smashed. My MacBook? Dead. My clothes? Baptized in red wine. The next day, she kicked up the revenge theme into the passing lane. There were the hang-up calls, the CHEATER posts on Instagram, and some very unflattering AI “nudes” of me.

Three weeks later, she disappeared from the online revenge. I thought it was over for good.  Until tonight.

“You going to say hi or are you still pouting?” she asked.

“Hi, Nicole. What’ll you have?”

“You know my favorite. And I’m here to apologize—for the calls, for everything. Lunch at Vincenzo’s tomorrow. My treat.”

Maybe she’d changed. Sure. Like a scorpion changes. Like a fool, I said yes. A simple no would have sufficed. I didn’t need a scene. I like my job. I didn’t trust her to calmly accept being turned down.

The lunch went smoothly. She apologized and paid. She begged me to take a selfie with her for old times’ sake. What was I thinking? She took a selfie of us, and she was draped over me tighter than a boa constrictor is around its prey.  

The next day, when I came home, Gail—my straight-laced, daily-Mass love—was in the hall, hands on hips. I thought she’d run into my arms. Instead, it was the slap that loosened two teeth and a bloody nose that refused to quit.

“You bastard. I’m out of here.”

“What? Gail—”

“Get out of my way.” She shoved past, backpack over her shoulder, middle finger raised. The slam of the door knocked my favorite Red Sox mug to the floor, shattering it like my heart.

I called Gail’s cell. Straight to voicemail. Again and again. I called her mom. Her mom told me I was lucky all she broke was my heart.

I was halfway through a pity beer when my cell rang. No caller ID lit the screen. I grabbed it like a lifeline.

“Gail?”

“How’s it feel, Joey?” Nicole’s voice dripped poison. “Remember the selfie? I sent it to Gail. Gail may be my twin, but we were never close. I got even with two at the same time.”

Her laugh followed me into the silence when the line went dead. I hurled the phone into my TV—glass shattered, the Red Sox game froze, then blinked out. My heart was wrecked, my apartment wrecked, and now my TV too. In the cracked screen’s reflection, I almost looked like I was smiling. Hell, maybe I deserved every bit of it.