What if I told you that the hardest you fight against your anxiety, the stronger it grows? Most of us treat worry like a fire we need to douse, but in doing so, we often provide the very oxygen it needs to burn.
We have the inherent power to transcend our circumstances. One of the most potent, albeit counterintuitive, tools in our kit is paradoxical intention. Developed by Viktor Frankl, this technique suggests that by “wishing” for the very thing that makes us anxious, we strip the fear of its power.
Worry thrives on avoidance. When we obsessively try to prevent a negative outcome, we validate that the outcome is a threat. Paradoxical intention flips the script. Instead of running, you invite the “monster” in for tea.
The Example: Imagine you are terrified of blushing during a presentation. Normally, you worry: “I hope I don’t turn red.” Using paradoxical intention, you tell yourself: “I am going to turn so red that I look like a ripe tomato. I’m going to set a world record for the reddest face in history!”
By intentionally seeking the symptom, you remove the “anticipatory anxiety” that causes it. The tension snaps, humor enters, and the worry dissolves.
3 Actions for Your Colleague
If you see a teammate spiraling into “what-ifs,” suggest these constructive steps:
- Exaggerate the Outcome: Encourage them to spend five minutes imagining the absolute most ridiculous, over-the-top version of their failure until it becomes funny.
- The “Worry Window”: Suggest they schedule a specific 15-minute block to do nothing but worry intensely, rather than letting it bleed into their productive hours.
- Focus on Agency: Ask, “If the worst happened, what is the very first thing you would do to fix it?” This shifts them from a victim mindset to a problem-solving one.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
— Viktor Frankl
