To do good things in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning to your life. ~ Robert Browning
meaning
Thinking Out Loud ~ Choose to Live
We Always Have a Choice
Today I reflect on Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech at the University of Toronto. Ms. Atwood is a Canadian author, poet, and environmental activist.
Margaret Atwood, in her commencement speech, writes, “When faced with the inevitable, you always have a choice. You may not be able to alter reality, but you can alter your attitude towards it.”
Margaret Atwood’s commencement speech is available here.
NOTE: I am writing this post on August 19th. It is the anniversary day of my wife’s death. She suffered from stage 4 glioblastoma. I knew she was going to die but I held out hope, no matter how small, that she would surprise all of her doctors. When she died I was faced with the inevitable. I had a choice falling into a deep depression or somehow clawing my way through my deep state of grieving and discovering how to live again. Each morning I promised myself that I would prove to my five daughters that I could make it on my own. I wanted it to be strong for them. I knew that someday they too will have to face the same challenge. Holding on to that meaning got me through. When faced with the inevitable, where you can’t change reality, choose to live.
Feeling Good Tip ~ Living a Meaning-Filled Life
Are You Living a Meaning-Filled Life?
Researchers at Tohoku University in Japan did a 7 year study of over 43,000 adults age 40 to 79 asking if they had ikigai (a Japanese term for meaning in life) and then tracked their health. People with ikigai were much more likely to be alive 7 years later.
NOTE: When we have meaning in our life, we have a reason to get up and get going. We’re not going to be bored. We’re not going to feel useless. We’re not going to feel powerless. Meaning is almost always associated with something beyond ourselves. It might be taking care of one’s garden, e.g., “The plants need me.” It might be a project at work that needs your personal skills. If we have a meaning, we’ll find a way. When we find a way, we feel better. We know our life is significant.
Daily Quotes to Brighten Your Journey
Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves.
We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.
Thinking Out Loud ~ Three Ways to Experiencing Meaning In Life
Victor Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning, speaks of three ways in which we can find meaning. He says, “(1) by creating a work or by doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. P. 115
NOTE: Frankl’s words resonate with me. I discovered meaning (at various times in my life) in each of the three ways he describes. I found meaning in the publication of my research and books while I was a university professor. I found meaning in the love I shared with my wife and for my children. And, I found meaning in the unavoidable suffering I experienced with the death of my wife. I was determined to show my daughters I was strong enough cope with the suffering I was experiencing. I wanted to be an example for them. How have you experienced the types of meaning Frankl describes?
Thinking Out Loud ~ An Important Question
Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning is both an autobiography of his time in the prison camps and a presentation of logotherapy or as Frankl says, the will to meaning. Referring to logotherapy, Frankl says, “As each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve. The question of the meaning of life may be actually reversed. Ultimately man should not ask what the meaning of his life is but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Thus, logotherapy sees in responsibleness the very essence of human existence. Pps. 113-114
NOTE: Frankl presents a question that challenges us at each moment of our existence: “What is life asking of me at this moment?” Since we have free will we can choose to ignore the question, answer the question is a self-centered way, or to embrace the question and choose to be responsible to the unique circumstances we find ourselves in. It’s not always easy, it can be fraught with suffering and pain, yet it is our path toward meaning and living a fulfilled life.
Feel Good Tip of the Day ~ A Simple Lesson
If we are bored, our eyes must be closed. Abundant opportunities surround us. A friend of mine told me she was reading her church bulletin and saw there was a need to help answer phones at her church. She volunteered. Her action may not be earth shattering, but it is meaningful. She is helping her church, she is volunteering her time and moving out of her space to enter a space where there is a need.. The lesson is simple, look (recognize the need), take a step toward it (we can’t wait for it to knock on our door), and engage (commit ourselves to action).
Thinking Out Loud ~ Know the Why and Bear Almost Any How
Victor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning spoke of two prisoners who were considering committing suicide. In talking with the men, he helped them discover meaning in their lives. Tor one man, it was his child who waiting for him in a safe country. And for the other, it was the completion of a scientific book that he hadn’t finished . . . . Frankl said, “A man who becomes conscious all the responsibility he bears towards a human being, who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” of his existence and will be able to bear almost any “how.” Pps. 87-87
NOTE: It takes heaps of courage to stop living for one’s self and to live for others. Once that leap is made and life instantly changes. One becomes an instrument of love, healing, and inspiration. The leap of courage is one of stepping out of one’s silo and daring to engage the world.
Something to Think About ~ Finding Meaning in Suffering
Victor Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning, “[T]here is also purpose in that life, which is a almost barren of both creation and enjoyment in which admits of, but one possibility of high moral behavior: namely, in man’s attitude to his existence, and existence, restricted by external forces, a creative life and life of enjoyment are banned to him . . . if there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an inescapable part of life even as fate and death. Without suffering and death of human life cannot be complete. . . . The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails . . .gives him ample opportunity, even under the most difficult circumstances, to add a deeper meaning to his life.” P. 76.
NOTE; When I first read this passage it made sense to me. Each time I re-read Man’s Search for Meaning it continued to make sense for me on an intellectual level. It wasn’t until my wife, suffering from brain cancer, died did I come to understand at a heart level what Frankl meant by finding meaning in suffering. My search for the meaning in my suffering did not ease my suffering, but it gave me deep insights into the lessons that suffering was teaching me. I became a different man, a better man, because of the suffering I experienced.
