microplastics

You Might Be 2% Ziploc: A Backyard Chat About Microplastics

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Two lawn-chair philosophers, one suspicious plastic cup, and a whole lot of uncomfortable truth about what’s floating in our oceans… and our bodies.


Microplastics. They sound tiny—and they are—but their impact is anything but small. These invisible invaders are the byproduct of our plastic-obsessed lifestyle, breaking down into microscopic fragments that now float through oceans, drift into our food, and even circulate in our bloodstreams. The problem? We barely notice. But what if the truth about plastic pollution landed right in your driveway, between two lawn chairs and a couple of iced teas? Meet Jose and Miguel, two San Antonio buddies who might just change how you see your favorite solo cup—one hilarious jab at a time.

Setting: Two buddies sitting on lawn chairs in a San Antonio driveway, sipping iced tea from suspiciously shiny plastic cups.

Jose:

You know, Miguel, I read that some folks wanna ban plastic straws again. What’s next? No plastic chairs? No plastic flamingos? Are we supposed to drink our iced tea through a blade of grass?

Miguel:

I mean… it’d be good fiber. But seriously, Jose, you ever think about where that plastic cup goes when you’re done?

Jose:

Yeah, into the trash. Then the trash fairies take it to the big landfill in the sky. Poof—gone.

Miguel:

More like poof—it lives forever. That cup’ll outlast your grandkids. It might even reincarnate as a flip-flop and wash up on a beach in Bali.

Jose:

Well then my legacy lives on. “Jose: Father, Veteran, Eternal Solo Cup.” I like it.

Miguel:

C’mon, hermano. That cup’s not harmless. Plastics break down into these tiny things called microplastics. They’re in our rivers, our fish, even in our blood.

Jose:

Wait—are you telling me I’m part Tupperware?

Miguel:

You might be 2% Ziploc by now. Studies are finding microplastics in people’s organs. They’re like glitter—once it’s loose, good luck getting rid of it.

Jose:

Okay, that’s gross. But I recycle!

Miguel:

Yeah, about that… only about 9% of plastic actually gets recycled. The rest either ends up in landfills or doing laps in the ocean.

Jose:

So what—you want me to start drinking out of coconuts?

Miguel:

No, man. Just start small. Use a reusable cup, maybe grab some beeswax wraps instead of plastic wrap. We’re not trying to go full caveman—just smarter caveman.

Jose:

What if I don’t like change? I still have a flip phone and a drawer full of AOL CDs.

Miguel:

Then you’re halfway there—reuse, my friend. And hey, cutting down plastic doesn’t mean sacrificing comfort. It just means not turning Earth into a giant Rubbermaid.

Jose:

Alright, alright. But I’m keeping my flamingos. They’ve been with me since ’92.

Miguel:

Deal. But let’s agree they never end up in the Gulf, okay?

Jose:

Deal. Now pour me another iced tea. But this time, make it… biodegradable.


Sometimes the biggest wake-up calls don’t come from headlines or documentaries—they come from a neighbor with iced tea and a quick wit. Jose and Miguel’s driveway dialogue reminds us that environmental change doesn’t have to be preachy or perfect. It starts with awareness, a laugh, and a small shift—like swapping out one plastic habit for something a little kinder to the planet. We don’t need to go full granola overnight. But we can start asking questions. We can take responsibility for our footprint. And we can make choices that help the world we’ll hand off to future generations—flamingos and all. So here’s to less plastic, more consciousness, and maybe one day… a body that’s 0% Tupperware.

Breaking Up with Plastic: It’s Not Me, It’s… Literally Everywhere

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I thought ditching plastic would be easy—until I realized my blueberries, my cutting board, and even my smug little eco-cloth were all secretly synthetic. I’m basically living in a Tupperware container with rent.

I recently read a lengthy article on the negative effects of plastics on one’s health. The article’s writer was so concerned she paid for a blood test to see if microplastics were present in her blood stream. She freaked out when she received the bad news. Those plastic boogers were running through her blood stream as if were their personal playground. She took the results to her doctor. The doctor told her that she believed most people on the planet have a similar problem and it is not good. That’s all I need to hear to take on my great plastic challenge. I thought it was going to be easy freeing myself from plastic. Turns out it is not so easy.. Plastic is ubiquitous in my home and I imagine it is in everyone elses home. I buy forzen blueberries. It’s in the packaging. I clean my counters with microfiber cloths to save on paper. It makes up microfiber cloths. My cutting board is going out. My microfiber cloths are going out. My non stick pans are joining the parade. My brain is getting dizzy from thinking about the presence of plastic in my life. Perhaps if I stop thinking about it, plastics will disappear. C’mon, Ray, come back to reality. I’m not ready to head off to a remote spot in the Rocky Mountains, kill a bear and use it’s skin and hair for my clothes and its flesh for my food. I’m going to be in solidarity with the rest of humanity and eo the best I can with the plastic menace. What are you doing about plastics in your life? Maybe we’ll get super powers and clear the world of evil. Let’s start with plastics.

Bonus Health Post: You, Me, and the Tiny Plastic Invaders: What Microplastics Are Doing to Our Health

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What do your water bottle, dinner plate, and yoga mat have in common? If you guessed “they’re watching me,” you might need more sleep. But if you guessed plastic—you’re on to something. In fact, you might even be part plastic without knowing it.

🌍 Plastic, Plastic Everywhere

We’ve all seen the photos of plastic waste swirling in oceans or stuck in sea turtles’ noses. But the real plot twist? Microplastics—tiny fragments less than 5mm—are now in our food, water, air, and even our bloodstreams. They’re showing up in bottled water, salt, produce, breast milk, and (brace yourself) even the human placenta.

A recent study found that one bottle of water can contain up to 240,000 microscopic plastic bits. We’re drinking them, eating them, and—yes—inhaling them.

🧠🫁🚨 Where Do They Go?

Once inside the body, microplastics don’t just leave a thank-you note and exit politely. Particles small enough (under 200 nanometers) can sneak past your gut lining, enter your bloodstream, and get comfortable in places like your lungs, liver, arteries, and even your brain. Yikes.

One study even found microplastics inside artery plaques, increasing the risk of stroke and heart attack. Another found them in carotid artery tissue—and folks with plastic in those tissues were more likely to have serious heart events.

🧬 What They Can Do

Scientists aren’t just speculating anymore. Lab and animal studies show microplastics can:

  • Trigger inflammation and oxidative stress
  • Damage cells and DNA
  • Disrupt hormones and fertility
  • Alter the gut microbiome
  • Worsen lung, heart, and brain health

And since plastics can absorb other toxins like BPA or phthalates, they sometimes act like microscopic taxis carrying harmful chemicals to your cells. Not the Uber we ordered.

🤰 Should We Be Worried?

Yes—but not panicked. While we don’t yet have long-term human studies that say “THIS much plastic causes THAT disease,” we do know these particles don’t belong in our bodies. They’re not biodegradable, and some may be with us for life.

Think of it like secondhand smoke in the early days—we didn’t know exactly how harmful it was, but the writing was already on the wall.

🧼 So, What Can You Do?

Here’s the good news: You can reduce your exposure starting today with a few small changes:

  • Use glass, stainless steel, or ceramic instead of plastic, especially for hot foods or drinks
  • Don’t microwave in plastic (yes, even the “microwave-safe” ones)
  • Choose filtered tap water over bottled
  • Cut back on single-use plastics and plastic-packaged foods
  • Support policies that reduce plastic use and encourage safer alternatives

🌱 Bottom Line:

Microplastics may be tiny, but their impact isn’t. The science is catching up, and while we wait for clearer answers, there’s power in awareness and action. You don’t have to live in a bubble (preferably not a plastic one), but a few smart swaps can protect your health—and the planet.

🙋‍♂️ Questions for You:

  1. What’s one plastic item you could swap out this week?
  2. Have you ever tried a “plastic-free” challenge or product?
  3. What surprises you most about where microplastics are found?

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