thinking

Thinking Out Loud: Where Do You Want to Go with Your Life?

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

The appreciative inquiry principle of simultaneity recognizes that inquiry and change are not truly separate moments they can and should be simultaneous inquiry is intervention the seeds of change are in the things people think and talk about, the things people discover and learn, and the things that inform dialogue and inspire images of the future they are implicit in the very first question asked. p. 8.

Note: “Where should we go out for dinner?” This simple question changes your life. It demonstrates how inquiry, the question about going out for dinner, and change occur simultaneously. Change occurs since you perhaps planned to kick off your shoes, enjoy a glass of wine, and when you feel right, hope there are leftovers in the fridge for two. By going to the restaurant life is changed. It’s changed by the way you travel, the people you’ll see, and the conversation you’ll have. The questions we ask have the power to determine our destination. Where do you want to go with your life? Are the questions you’re asking the right questions to get your there?

Thinking Out Loud: Open Up to Unlimited Possibilities

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

The most important resource for generating constructive change is the cooperation between the imagination and the reasoning function of the mind. . . . Appreciative inquiry is a way of reclaiming imaginative competence. P 8

Note: We can apply this appreciative inquiry principle to our everyday lives. Appreciative inquiry at its essence is all about relationships. It is about the generative conversations that occur when two or more people work together to solve challenges. Imagine you and your partner are having a conversation about where to go on an extended weekend break. Both of you have ideas for great get aways, yet your destination ideas are different. In some cases, both people may become fixed in their opinions, an argument occurs, and the result is no weekend getaway. If they decide to set aside their opinions and begin a conversation about what they want out of a weekend getaway without initially naming a destination, their conversation takes on a different hue. As their conversation evolves they can begin to ask, what places satisfy what we want? An important learning point is the set aside. When we set  aside preconceived opinions, we allow our minds to open to unlimited possibilities.  

Thinking Out Loud: Love is All

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Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Cervantes  work, Don Quixote.

“Then, his armor being furnished, his morion turned into a helmet, his hack christened, and he himself confirmed, He came to the conclusion that nothing more was needed now but to look out for a lady to be in love with; For a knight-errant without love was like a tree without leaves or fruit, or a body without a soul.” Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

Note: Love is all. Love completes us. It requires us to bury our ego so we may love another without any thought to ourselves. When one has this type of love relationship, one forgets who he or she is and becomes immersed in the other forming a new identity. Two separate people become one. Neither one feels suffocated or trapped. Each feels, perhaps for the first time, alive and free to experience life at a heightened level.

Thinking Out Loud ~ Beware the Criticism and Flattery

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Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Aesop’s Fable, The Fox and the Crow. Aesop’s Fables is available for free download here.

The Fable

“A Crow was sitting on a branch of a tree with a piece of cheese

in her beak when a Fox observed her and set his wits to work to

discover some way of getting the cheese. Coming and standing under

the tree he looked up and said, “What a noble bird I see above me!

Her beauty is without equal, the hue of her plumage exquisite. If

only her voice is as sweet as her looks are fair, she ought without

doubt to be Queen of the Birds.” The Crow was hugely flattered by

this, and just to show the Fox that she could sing she gave a loud

caw. Down came the cheese, of course, and the Fox, snatching it up,

said, “You have a voice, madam, I see: what you want is wits.”

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Note: A mentor took me aside and gave me the following advice. My mentor said, “Ray, don’t pay too much attention to the criticism you’ll receive. There are some people who think their life’s mission is to bring others down. Similarly, don’t pay too much attention to those who flatter you. Yes, it feels good, but it’s about as accurate as the criticism. He was right and his words helped me to maintain my balance.

Thinking Out Loud ~ It’s Okay to be Different

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Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection on Richard Bach’s, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

“Why, Jon, why?” His mother asked. “Why is it so hard to be like the rest of the flock, John? Why can’t you leave low flying to the Pelicans, the albatross? Why don’t you eat? Son, your bone and feathers!”

“I don’t mind being bone and feathers, mom. I just want to know what I can do in the air and what I can’t, that’s all. I just want to know.”

“. . . This flying business is all very well,  but you can’t eat a glide, you know. Don’t you forget the reason you fly is to eat.

Note: We hear the words, “Why is it so hard to be like the rest of the flock” throughout our lives if we try to be different. If we try to be different in the workplace people question us. If we are the only person to ask why, people will look at us and wonder what is wrong perhaps we need a psychological evaluation. It takes courage to move away from the crowd. It takes courage to be an independent thinker and to act on what one believes is the correct course of action. Great ideas usually don’t come from the group, they come from the edge where group members seldom visit.

Thinking Out Loud ~ Do You Hear the Voice Calling You?

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Beginning today I am reading and reflecting on Richard Bach’s, Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Enjoy the passages I select and the reflections I make on the passage.

Seagulls, as you know never falter, never stall. To stall in the air is for them disgrace and it is dishonor. But Jonathan Livingston seagull, unashamed, stretching his wings again in their trembling hard curve — slowing, slowing, and stalling once more — was no ordinary bird. Most gulls don’t bother to learn more than the simple facts of flight — how to get from shore to food and back again. For gulls, it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull though, it was not eating that mattered, but flight. More than anything else Jonathan Livingston Seagull loved to fly.

Note: What is it that your heart is calling you to become? Have you heard the call? Or, are you so busy with a life others planned for you that can’t hear the call? The call is like an echo, it is always there bouncing around inside of you. Occasionally you’ll  catch a glimpse of it. It takes courage to stop and listen to the call and then to embrace it and follow it wherever it takes you. Find your quiet space and listen to your call.

Thinking Out Loud ~ It is a Great Mystery

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Saint-Exupéry writes that it has been six years since the Little Prince left. He reflects on the Little Prince’s visit. He writes:

Sometimes I say to myself, “Once in a while we are distracted and that’s enough! He forgot, one night, the glass globe, or even the sheep came out silently during the night . . . .  “ So the bells drown in tears!

Look at the sky. Ask yourself: “The sheep did or did not eat the flower?” And you will see how everything changes. And no grown up will ever understand that it is so important!

Note: We get so busy with the stuff of our life we forget to be distracted and discover the joys that surround us. The little Prince it’s always nearby, however, when we are too busy with all of our stuff we can’t see the little Prince and enjoy our conversations with him. Here’s hoping you find time in your life each day to be distracted and to discover the little Prince in your life.

Thinking Out Loud ~ Discover the Gifts

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Saint-Exupéry writes that the Little Prince is telling the author he is leaving and will return to his planet. The Little Prince tries to console the author.

“At night, you will look at the stars. . . . My star will be one of the stars for you so, you will love to look at all stars. They will all be your friends. And then I will make you a gift . . . You will have stars like no one else has.”

“What do you mean?”

“At night when you look at the sky, as I will live in one of them, then it will be for you as if all stars were laughing. You will have stars that know how to laugh. . . . And when you will be consoled you’ll be glad to have known me. You’ll be my friend forever. You will want to laugh with me. And, sometimes, you will open your window to have fun and your friends will be amazed to see you laughing at the sky.”

Note: We feel a deep sadness when someone we love is about to leave us ,whether it’s moving a long distance away or they are nearing death. The author felt this sadness when the Little Prince was about to leave him. The author knew he had been tamed making the Little Prince’s leaving more difficult. When someone we love leaves us they leave us a gift just as the Little Prince left the gift of laughing to the author. It took me a while to discover the gifts my wife left me when she died, but I discovered them and they were given to me in abundance.

Thinking Out Loud ~ The Heart Sees What the Eyes Cannot See

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Saint-Exupéry writes how the Little Prince and he travel through the desert looking for water. After a long and exhausting search, they find a well.

“Listen,” said the little Prince, “we awake this well and it sings. . . .”

I lifted the bucket to his lips. He drank, with eyes closed. It was sweet like a party. This water was something more than food. It was borne of the walk under the stars, the song of the pulley, the effort of my arms. It was good for the heart, as a gift. . . .

“Men in your planet,” said the little Prince, “cultivate 5000 roses in the same garden and they do not find what they are looking for . . . But the eyes are blind. They must look for it with the heart.”

Note: How much we take for granted as if we are entitled to it. Take, for example, the gift of the night sky. How often do we look up to the night sky and gaze at the stars with a sense of wonder and a grateful heart? How often do we contemplate the person we are in love with and are filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this person who unconditionally loves us? When we discard our sense of entitlement and begin to look at everything as a gift we are filled with awe and our heart overflows with gratitude.

Thinking Out Loud ~ Bloom Where You’re Planted

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Saint-Exupéry writes in The Little Prince of the Little Prince meeting a switchman in a railroad yard. The Little Prince is curious about the trains arriving and leaving.

“They are in a hurry,” said the little Prince. “What are they looking for?”

“The locomotive man ignores himself,” said the switchman .

Then in the opposite direction, a second flashing light rumbled.

“Are they already coming back?” asked the little prince.

“They are not the same,” said the switchman. “This is an interchange.”

“Weren’t they happy where they were?”

 “We are never happy where we are ,”said the switchman.

Note: This morning I was speaking to a person who was unhappy with their life. This person said they had no choice but to continue living their unhappy life. They were place bound and job bound. I suggested there were other options, but this person was blind to any other options other than her unhappiness. Where we are is where we are. In the moment that’s the only place we have to be. It may not be what we want but it is where we are. We have a choice of making our situation work for us or fighting against it. When we fight against it we expend needless energy we could to create a happier life.

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