thinking

Thinking Out Loud: Become a Spark of Light

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“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”

― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

NOTE: Every person I’ve known has experienced dark nights. The darkness, at times, can seem to be devoid of any semblance of light. We wander through the darkness with our arms outstretched trying to find our way through. Suddenly, a flicker of light instills in us a great hope that the darkness will end. Where does the flicker of light come from? It comes from each of us when we become aware of a friend, a family member or another walking in the darkness. Each of us has the power to be a new dawn in someone’s life. We can make the day brighter. I am grateful for those who gave me sparks of light during my dark night journies.

Thinking Out Loud: Let Your Heart Take the Photos

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“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

NOTE: The beauty of life is all around us. Each evening after dinner I head out for a walk just as the sun is setting. The sunsets are strikingly beautiful. Each one is different. Each one fills me with awe. By the time I return home the evening stars are making their appearance. I don’t look down, I look up. My heart takes the photos my iPhone is not capable of taking. Become one with the beauty surrounding you. It makes a difference.

Thinking Out Loud: Light the World

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“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.” ~ Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

NOTE: We are not powerless. We have an unlimited source of power that can change people’s lives for the better. Offer a warm smile to all you meet today. You’ll see frowns and worried expressions return your smile. For a moment, you’ll have made someone forget his/her worries. A simple act of kindness lets someone know he/she is loved. It lets a person know there is love in our world. In return you get a wonderful reward, someone’s smile, someone’s eyes saying thank you. Yes, we are power-filled. Use your power to light the world.

Thinking Out Loud:

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“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

NOTE: Think of the ways in which your life would change if you applied the optimism principles set forth by Christian Larsen. It all begins in how we see ourself. Are you able to love yourself with all of your flaws? Are you able to forgive yourself for past failures and disappointments? When we can love ourself unconditionally, we free ourself to love others and work to bring out the best in them. Become cognizant of your self talk. When you become aware of self talk that is criticizing or condemning, stop and replace the negative self talk with complimentary talk. Sure, we all make mistakes, instead of saying, “that was dumb” we can say, “What can I learn from that.” Or, one I like to use, “Thanks for the lesson.”

Thinking Out Loud: It’s Been a Good Year

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2023 is quickly coming to a close. How has the year been for you? It’s been a good year for me. Here are 6 things that went well for me.

  1. I’ve been healthy. I hit the gym five days a week. It feels good to sweat and see the gains I’m making.
  2. I’ve made lora of friends. I make an effort to meet people. I take an interest in them. I’ll try to make a friend with anyone who passes my way.
  3. I’ve enjoyed blogging each day. I have a personal goal of spreading hope and good news wherever I go. Blogging helps me to do that.
  4. I am tight with my five daughters. We either talk or text every day. I have their back and I know they have my back.
  5. I have the best neighbors. We care for and watch out for each other.m
  6. And, I’ve maintained my no quit, never give up attitude throughout the year. If I get down, I get back up and start moving forward again.

Optimism is going to be the topic for the next couple of weeks. Optimism is a great way to close out the year and begin 2024 with confidence that it is going to the be year yet.

Thinking Out Loud: Recognize the Good Things Happening in Your Life

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

“Appreciative inquiry begins with three fundamental questions. One, can you describe a high point experience in your organization, a time when you were most alive and engaged. Two, without being modest what is it that you most valuable yourself your work and your organization? Three, what are the core factors that give life to your organization without which the organization would cease to exist?” P. 23

Note: We can apply these questions to our daily lives  They take our attention away from the dark spot on the wall and allow us to focus on the good that exists. Have you, for example, let a single negative comment from a family member, friend, or colleague ruin your day? I think it’s happened everyone. I know it’s happened to me. While we give that one comment an inordinate amount of power there are many other god things happening simultaneously. When appreciative inquiry asks us to describe high point experiences when we felt most alive and engaged that not only happens at work, but it happens in our daily lives outside of work. And it happens every day. Tonight, when you’re sitting at dinner, why not ask each other to describe a high point experience that happened during the day when each of you felt totally engaged. I think that happens to each of us every single day. I’m writing this on Sunday morning after I returned home from mass. On the way into the church, I met a friend, and we had a most wonderful conversation. I left the conversation feeling uplifted. That was a high point experience. When we begin to think of our lives this way, our lives take on a new hue of optimism, hope, and affirmation.

Thinking Out Loud: How Healthy is Your Relationship?

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

“Three factors that give life to healthy organizations are continuity, novelty, and transition. Research has established that visionary organizations and their leadership have the capacity to learn and apply lessons from the best of the past (continuity), to surface and develop ideas for creative acts (novelty), and to enact actual changes in systems and behaviors to progress toward a desired state (transition).” P. 21

Note: I think these three factors, continuity novelty, and transition give life to healthy relationships as well. In healthy relationships the partners are always learning and applying the lessons they learned to their current context. They never stop trying to grow. Great relationships are never static, they are always in growth mode. They apply novelty to their lives in the sense that they look for creative ways to express their love for each other and to find ways in which they can enjoy each other’s company. And they’re always cognizant of life’s transitions. They have desired goals. Their goals are organic and constantly evolving. How is your relationship? Do you have the three factors that make a relationship healthy and alive? It’s never too late to start.

Thinking Out Loud: What Is Your Image of Your Future?

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

“Organizations are heliotropic in character in the sense that organizational actions have an observable and largely automatic tendency to move in the direction of images of the future.” P. 18

Note: The authors are speaking of organizations. I believe what they are saying can be applied to human beings. I lived in a high rise apartment building in Columbus, Ohio. The population comprised of people from all age demographics. The young people were mostly Ohio State University students. Their image of the future was one of hope and dreams of what they could do with the rest of their life. They were filled with energy. Many of the older people had an image of life that it was over. A friend I knew, I’ll call him Bob was sitting in a chair in the lobby. He hadn’t shaved and looked depressed. I walked over to him and asked him how he was doing. I could tell from our conversation that he had given up. It was apparent in the way he was taking care of himself. Three weeks later Bob was carried out on a stretcher and taken to a mortuary. His image of the future was death; it contrasted with the image of life held by the college-aged students. What image do you want to have for your life one of life or one of death. Appreciative inquiry proposes that holding positive images of the future shape the actions we take to make that image real.

Thinking Out Loud: Create a New a Positive Reality

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

A fundamental assumption underlying appreciative inquiry is that the language one uses creates one’s reality. Therefore, the emotional meaning of words such as dysfunctional, codependent, and stressed out effect once thinking and acting. This deficit based vocabulary can inhibit the vision for a better and brighter future and limit growth. 17.

Note: I received an email from a friend this morning. My friend used words such as “no escape, no victory, and doomed.” He was using dificit thinking. These words can only exacerbate the stress my friend feels from his work situation. I know his situation and don’t see it the way he sees it. A change in his language would change his attitude toward the challenges he faces. We can easily become stuck with this pattern of thinking. It is counterproductive and puts us in a fight or flight position. If we ask ourselves, “What is happening here? What are the positive alternatives to what is happening here? What opportunities exists in this context? We begin to generate positive alternatives. The more positive questions we ask, the more constructive our language becomes. Instead of building barriers to protect ourselves, we discover ways to work with others to construct a new reality. We’re never condemned to what is. We have the power within ourselves to create a new and more positive reality. What are you waiting for?

Thinking Out Loud: It’s Time to Look on the Bright Side

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Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.

Powerful placebo: the placebo effect is a fascinating process in which projected images, as reflected in positive belief, ignite a healing response that can be as powerful as conventional therapy. . . . The placebo effect is accepted by most medical professions as genuine between 1/3 and 2/3 of all patients show marked physiological and emotional improvement in symptoms simply by believing they are given an effective treatment even when that treatment is just the sugar pill are some inert substance. p. 10.

Note: I have always been a big believer on looking on the bright side. It’s the title of my blog. I’ve found, in my experience, that believing that something was possible was significantly more helpful than believing the opposite. When we believe that something is possible and commit ourselves to working toward that possibility our mind shuts the doors to negative thinking and begins to work overtime to create a road map for that possibility. Last year, I had both hips replaced within 90 days. I was told by many people that my surgeon was the best in the city. I bought into that. I did everything I needed to do pre operation and post operation. Within three days after each operation, I was walking without a cane. Was the placebo effect at work in my belief in the surgeon? I think it all worked together. Why let your mind walk down a road that provides no benefit. This appreciative inquiry principle tells us that all things are possible within our relationships at work or at home when we choose to believe in possibilities and commit ourselves to that belief.

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