A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”
The horse says, “Me neither!”
Humor
Today’s Smile 😃
Husband: “Last night I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.”
Wife: “That explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.”
Today’s Smile 😀
Snake 1: ‘Are we poisonous?’
Snake 2: ‘I don’t know, why?’
Snake 1: ‘I just bit my lip.’
Today’s Smile 😃
The mom called in vain for her young son. Then she searched the ground floor, the first story, the second, and the attic—all in vain. Finally, she called out to the roof, and cried:
“John Henry, are you on the roof?”
An answer came clearly:
“No, mom. Have you looked in the cellar?”
Today’s Smile 😃
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing, they just waved.
Today’s Smile 😃
Q: What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?
A: “Does this taste funny to you?”
Today’s Smile 😃
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who doesn’t think they’re smart, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re not smart, Mike?”
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
Today’s Smile 😃
A man walks into a bar and it’s empty – it’s just him and the bartender. He sits down and orders a drink.
He hears someone whisper, “Pssst…I like your tie.” The man looks around but doesn’t see anyone.
“Pssst…that color looks nice on you.”
He asks the bartender, “Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?”
The bartender rolls his eyes and says, “No, sorry about that. It’s the peanuts… they’re complimentary.”
Today’s Smile 😃
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!
Today’s Smile 😀
A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”
