Joe: “I couldn’t sleep last night.”
Pete: “Why couldn’t you sleep?”
Joe: “I was so hot I set the smoke detectors off.”
clean jokes
Joke for Today
Joe and Pete are at it again
Joe: “The pastor at my church wanted to know if I would do some volunteer work.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.'”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I got fired as a bus driver for being too kind.”
Pete: “Why did they do that?”
Joe: “I gave up my seat to a blind man.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I got into an argument with co-workers, 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.”
Pete: “How did it work out?”
Joe: “Not well. The odds were against me.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My girlfriend asked if I knew the difference between arguing with me and a knife.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I didn’t know. She said, “At least a knife has a point.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I scheduled my annual physical exam. I told my wife the doctor wants me to bring a stool sample, urine sample, and sperm sample.”
Pete: “What did your wife say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘Give the doctor your underwear.'”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My girlfriend and I went hiking. We got in an argument and she threw her GPS device at me.”
Pete: “What did you do?”
Joe: “I told her, “Thanks, now I know where I stand.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My computer crashed after I spent two hours working on my paper for my night class.”
Pete: “What are you going to do?”
Joe: “Looks like I’ll have to put my name and date at the top of page again.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “I asked this woman at work for a date.”
Pete: “How did it go?”
Joe: “The date was delicious. But I didn’t get a date.”
Today’s Smile
Joe: “My online dating profile says I’m paid to travel and have direct responsibility for hundreds of people.”
Pete: “How’s it working for you?”
Joe: “Not to too well. The women I meet get turned off when they learn I’m a bus driver.”
