Joe: “I told my wife after ten years of marriage I could never leave her.”
Pete: “What did she say?”
Joe: “She said, ‘I”ve come to terms with it.”
laughter
Today’s Joke
Joe: “I didn’t sleep well. I am so tired.”
Pete: “How tired are you?”
Joe: “I’m so tired, my tired is tired.”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “My friend Mike is devastated his son wants to be singer and not take over the family wheat farm.”
Pete: “How’s he handling it?”
Joe: “Not well, he says, his’ son is going against the grain.”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “I quit my job at the bank.”
Pete: ‘Why did you do that?”
Joe: “I lost interest.”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “I interviewed for a job with the police. They asked me what I’d do if I had to arrest my mother.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘I’d call for backup.'”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “My girlfriend paid me a compliment, she said I was well balanced.”
Pete: “What made her say that?”
Joe: “I was standing with a beer in each hand.”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “When I die I’m going to be cremated.”
Pete: “Why’s that, Joe?”
Joe: “It’s my last chance for a smoking, hot body.”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “My dentist asked if I flossed. I told him I floss religiously. He said, “Really?”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Christmas and Easter.'”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “My girlfriend accused me of not listening to her.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘This is a strange way to begin a conversation.”
Today’s Joke
Joe: “I’ve got to come up with a new pickup line, the line I’m using is a turn off.”
Pete: “What are you saying?”
Joe: “You are like my dentures. I cannot smile without you.”
