Today’s Health Tip: Choose whole grains over refined grains for sustained energy and fiber. Your body will thank you.
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Today’s Joke: Joe Had a Bad Breakup
Joe: “I broke up with my girlfriend and texted her, “You can take me off of speed dial.”
Pete: “Did she respond?”
Joe: “She text back, “Who is this?”
Today’s Joke: Joe Rejects a Telemarketing Pitch
Joe: “I got a telemarketing call and the guy was trying to sell me a coffin.”
Pete: “What did you do?”
Joe: “I told him, ‘That’s the last thing I need.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe Got Bad News from the Bakery
Joe: “I got some bad news at the bakery today.”
Pete: “What did you hear?”
Joe: “They’re not making shortbread any longer.”
Today’s Joke: Pete Tries to Help Joe
Joe: “I saw a flock of cows on the way to work this morning.”
Pete: “You mean a herd of cows?”
Joe: “Yah, I heard of them too.”
Today’s Joke: Joe Goes to His Boss’s Wake
Joe: “I went to my boss’s wake and knelt in front of his casket and I said something he’d enjoy.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Who’s not thinking out of the box now, Tom.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Timing is Off
Joe: “My girlfriend and I started kissing during her morning exercise session and she suddenly stopped kissing me.”
Pete: “Was she upset?”
Joe: “She said, ‘This isn’t working out.'”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s Got a Problem
Joe: “I accidently swallowed some Scrabble tiles.”
Pete: “Are you okay?”
Joe: “For now. But the next time I go to the toilet it could spell disaster.”
Today’s Joke: Joe’s GF is Telling Jokes
Joe: “My girlfriend told me a boxing joke.”
Pete: “Was it any good?”
Joe: “It didn’t have a punch line.”
