8.
Detective Patterson changes tact, “How did you learn Smith wasn’t his real last name?”
“One night some cops came to the house with a warrant for a guy named Waldo for running out on child support by five different women in four different states. Waldo was his real last name. One of the cops said, ‘I found Waldo.’ They all laughed but I didn’t know what was so funny.”
“Do you want me to call you Ms. Smith?”
“Why? Don’t you like Jody?”
“I like Jody, but we should keep this professional.”
“Until later, you mean? When you catch Handsome, will you beat the crap out of him?”
“That’s not the way it works, Jody. We have to see if we have enough evidence first. If we don’t have evidence, we can’t arrest him.”
“I don’t want him arrested. I saw on a movie where these two detectives played good cop and bad cop. The bad cop kept hitting the bad guy until he confessed.”
“That was a movie.”
“So? What if Punkin is bleeding to death?”
“Punkin can’t bleed to death. Punkin is a stuffed animal. Do you have a ransom note?”
“Why are you being so mean, Detective Pitterson.”
“It’s Patterson.”
“What’s a Patterson, Detective Pitterson?”
Detective Patterson momentarily closes his eyes hoping Sunny will disappear. He takes his right hand and rubs his forehead. He opens his eyes and Sunny is still across from him looking at her smart phone. He says, “Do you mind putting your phone away until we finish?”
“Duh. You can’t be on Instagram. What if somebody liked my photo? I gotta know. Here, take a look, don’tcha think I look good?” Sunny turns her phone to face Detective Patterson
Detective Patterson glances at Sunny’s Instagram photo. He sees Sunny with two girlfriends holding 32-ounce margaritas containers.
“Well?” asks Sunny.
Detective Patterson thinks Sunny and her friends are drunk. He shrugs and says, “Nice photo. What last name are you using now if you’re not Smith? What name do you have on your driver’s license?”
Sunny scrolls down recent Instagram photos. She looks up at Detective Patterson, “You say something?”
Detective Patterson is certain Sunny has ADHD. He repeats, “What name do you have on your driver’s license?”
Sunny says, “I never got an official driver’s license because when I was 15 my boyfriend made me a fake driver’s license so I could buy liquor. I still use it, every once in a while, I paste a new photo over my picture.”
“Have you ever had a traffic stop?” asks Detective Patterson.
Jody waves her hand, “Oh, sure plenty of times.”
“Didn’t the police officer ask for your driver’s license?”
“I think he was distracted. I wasn’t wearing anything above the waist, want me show you?”
“No, no, keep your shirt on.”
A chant starts in the squad room, “Take it off. Take it off. Take it off.”
Detective Patterson hollers, “Knock it off. I’m dealing with a kidnapping.”
“Can I watch when you croak Handsome?” says Jody.
At that moment . . .
Detective Milson, further back in the squad room, sits at her desk and points to a chair next to the desk. She types in her passcode on her computer, uses her mouse to make a couple more clicks, then turns her head toward the guy in the chair.
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