Imagine you’re a detective. You’re at a crime scene. You remember all your TV crime shows so you’re all set. There are three witness to the crime. You decide to question them separately since you don’t want them colluding on what they should tells you. One thing you won’t do is to ask them how they’re doing and then walk away. You’ll have a whole list of questions to ask. Some of the witnesses answers will lead to questions you haven’t thought about.
When we want a good relationship with someone it’s important to show interest in them. We politely probe to discover more information about their likes and dislikes. It’s as if we are detectives and we are attempting to draw information from the person we’re with. We forget about ourselves and focus totally on the other person
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