Month: June 2025

“I Just Asked ‘How’s It Going?’ — And Now I Know Too Much”

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Being a good listener is a gift… until it turns into a hostage situation disguised as a conversation.

I consider myself a good listener. Being a good listener has its upsides and it’s downsides. It’s upsides let you learn a lot more about people and discover their stories. That also helps you to develop friendships. One of the downsides is that sometimes you get more information than you really want. Here is a fictional conversation between two people who illustrate this point.

Mary: “How is it going ,Jean”

Jean: “Oh, I have had a terrible day.”

Mary:”What happened? Tell me about it”

Mary doesn’t realize it but she just made a big mistake. Jean will be happy because she gets to unburden her soul on Mary.”

Jean: “I’ve had it with my mother-in-law. Joe and I went to their home for dinner last night. Joe runs into the living room with his dad and they start watching a ball game while I got stuck in the kitchen with his mom. Do you know what it’s like to get stuck in the kitchen with her?”

Mary: “I’ve never had that experience.”

Jean: “Consider yourself lucky. The first thing she does is to give me an apron and then she doesn’t let me put it on. She puts it over me and ties it around me. It’s as if I didn’t know how to put an apron on and tie it behind my back. Then she tells me to go to the stove and start stirring something she has in a pan. She tells me, ‘Make sure it doesn’t burn. The last time I asked you to stir, you let it overcook. I don’t want that to happen again.” I felt like taking it and dumping it on the floor and saying,’how do you like that? It didn’t burn.’

Mary: “What did you do?”

Jean: “I started stirring it and making sure it didn’t burn. Then she says, ‘Add a pinch of salt. I don’t mean the whole jar like you threw in the last time.” I can’t do anything right with that woman. Then she brings up Joe’s former girlfriend, Debbie. Every time I’m at her home she has to tell me how Debbie is such a great cook. His mom said, ‘Debbie knew exactly how to add salt and I should see the cookies that Debbie can make. I always thought she was a great choice for Joe but love does what it does then we have to put up with it. I looked for a knife. I wanted to gut her the way you gut a fish.’ Fortunately, Joe walked into the kitchen and put his arms around me and gave me a kiss. He looked at his mom and said, “Mom, Debbie is such a great wife. I’m so happy she married me.’ I thought his mother was going to puke. So I just cleared at her and said, Joe, so romantic just like his dad. Zing!

Mary, “Well what happened?”

Jean: “Listen to what happened next. Oh darn, I’m getting a call. I’ll have to let you go, but we’ll catch up and I’ll tell you what happened.”

Poor Mary. I think she should block Jean. She got more information than she needed now she will think about it most of the day. This ever happened to you?

Light for the Journey: Where the Magic Hides: Whispers, Kindness, and the Power of Paying Attention

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It’s all a matter of paying attention, being awake in the present moment, and not expecting a huge payoff. The magic in this world seems to work in whispers and small kindnesses. ~Charles de Lint

Reflection:

The world doesn’t always shout its beauty—it whispers it. By slowing down and truly paying attention, we begin to notice the grace tucked inside the ordinary: a stranger holding the door, a dog wagging its tail, a leaf catching sunlight just right. Maybe magic isn’t something rare—it’s just something rarely seen by hurried eyes.

Writer’s Prompt: Two Heels, One Heartthrob, and a Murder Plot: Romance, Revenge, and Really Bad Decisions

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What happens when love triangles get sharp edges? Two brilliant (but slightly unhinged) women set their sights on the same man, and neither plans to back down. Spoiler: someone’s going to need alibis and a good dry cleaner.

Starting Paragraph:

Lena always believed in the power of fate. Fate brought her to Michael in a rainstorm. Fate also delivered Ivy, her coworker-turned-archnemesis, straight into his bed. Now Lena’s belief in fate is being replaced with a very detailed plan—and a locked drawer full of suspicious tools. But what if Ivy’s plan was already in motion?

Three Deep-Dive Questions for Writers:

  1. What emotional wounds or insecurities drive each woman to such extremes rather than simply walking away?
  2. Is Michael truly worth the chaos, or is he just a mirror reflecting their own desires and desperation?
  3. If one of them “wins,” what does that even look like—victory or self-destruction?

Green Mountain ~ A Poem by Li Po

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Sometimes, the loudest wisdom is found in silence—and Li Po’s mountain is echoing with it.

Green Mountain

Li Po

You ask me why I dwell in the green mountain;
I smile and make no reply for my heart is free of care.
As the peach-blossom flows down stream and is gone into the unknown,
I have a world apart that is not among men.

Source

Reflection:

In just four lines, Li Po creates a sanctuary. His reply to the world isn’t an argument—it’s a smile. Sometimes, the greatest answer we can offer is to simply be where our hearts are most at peace, even if no one else understands the terrain.

❓ Three Reflective Questions:

  1. What might Li Po’s silence be saying louder than any words?
  2. Have you ever found your own version of a “green mountain”—a place apart where your heart feels free?
  3. What does the image of the peach blossom floating away suggest about how we live, let go, or move on?

New Podcast: Hope with a Backbone: What Helen Keller Taught Me About Grief

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In this soul-stirring episode of Journey from Grief to Healing, we explore how choosing optimism in the midst of sorrow doesn’t erase the pain—it simply points us toward meaning, resilience, and renewal. Drawing inspiration from Helen Keller’s extraordinary essay on optimism and Charlotte Brontë’s poem Life, Ray reflects on walking through grief with courage and hope. This episode reminds us that even in our darkest seasons, hope can take root and bloom. You don’t need to start a movement—you just need to live forward, with purpose and heart.

Five Salient Points:

  • Optimism doesn’t remove pain, but it helps guide us through it with meaning and strength.
  • Helen Keller’s life and writing show that resilience and joy are possible even in extreme darkness.
  • Grief invites us to choose: we can fill the void with pity or with purpose.
  • Charlotte Brontë’s poem reminds us that sorrow is temporary, and courage can conquer despair.
  • Small steps toward hope are powerful—living with intention is itself a form of healing.

Get Healthy: Cultivating Resilience – Pärt’s Spiegel im Spiegel

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When the World Shouts, Pärt Whispers Back

The secret to resilience might not be louder playlists—but quieter ones. Let Pärt whisper you back to center.

Minimalist music can strengthen inner resilience by encouraging reflection and calming the nervous system. According to a study in Trends in Cognitive Sciences (2013), slow, repetitive music fosters emotional regulation and helps build stress tolerance. Arvo Pärt’s Spiegel im Spiegel is like musical meditation—subtle, steady, and deeply centering.

Why it works: With its quiet repetitions and balance, it gently nurtures strength and mindfulness from within.The secret to resilience might not be louder playlists—but quieter ones. Let Pärt whisper you back to center.

Healthy Facts: The Throne Stretch (aka: Your Chair Isn’t the Enemy)

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You spend hours in your chair—might as well make it part of the solution, not the problem.

Strategy Description:

Sit tall at the edge of a sturdy chair, place your right ankle on your left knee (like you’re crossing your leg), then gently hinge forward from your hips. This seated stretch opens your glutes and piriformis, two sneaky culprits behind back pain. Hold for 20–30 seconds. Switch sides. Your chair can be more than a backstabber—it can be a back supporter. Who knew?

Caution:

Avoid rounding your spine—lead with your chest. If you feel pressure in the knee, adjust the angle or skip it.

As always, check in with your physician before starting anything new—especially if your back has been throwing shade or sending warning flares.”

Shooting the Sh*t: Boston Sports Talk and Uncle John’s Life Lessons

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They talk about nothing as if they know everything. So did my Uncle John—and he made it an art form. One had a microphone, the other had a First Sergeant’s stripes, and only one really knew what he was talking about.

I catch the Boston sports talk shows via YouTube. I often wonder how people can be paid for speculating about sport’s teams. They have people like me listening to them and commenting on the YouTube videos. I don’t know what that says about me and how little it takes to entertain me when they are really talking about nothing. My favorite uncle, John, had a career military in the US Army. He was a first sergeant when he retired. When he retired he’d give me a call and say, “Ray, let’s shoot the shit..” and that’s what we would do for 45 minutes, we would shoot the shit. We would talk about nothing as if we knew everything about what we were talking about. In the end, we both left the call feeling pretty good about life. We solved multiple problems and some we kept for a future date. I miss those calls with my uncle John. The talk show hosts who speculate about my sports teams do a very good job of shooting this shit. They’re talking about nothing as if they knew everything. They’re not in my uncle John’s league. They didn’t spend 30 years in the military. I think you learned to survive in the military for 30 years by shooting the shit.

Writer’s Prompt: Strings Attached: The Violinist Who Kills More Than Encores

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By day, she melts hearts with a Stradivarius. By night, she eliminates threats with silence and precision. One bow stroke charms Carnegie Hall—the next? Neutralizes a foreign agent.

Opening Paragraph Sample:

Vivian Zhao adjusted the chin rest of her 1715 Stradivarius and stepped onto the stage at Lincoln Center to a thunderstorm of applause. As the concertmaster of the New York Philharmonic, she was revered for her precision, her fire, and the near-telepathic connection she had with every note. No one in the audience—least of all the diplomatic attaché in Box 7—knew that the exquisite trill she played in tonight’s encore was actually the activation code for an international takedown. By midnight, she’d be out of her gown, into tactical gear, and halfway to Berlin with a silencer tucked behind her score sheet.

🧠 

3 Thought-Provoking Questions:

  1. What emotional toll might a double life of art and espionage take on someone devoted to beauty and destruction in equal measure?
  2. Can someone who masters emotional expression through music remain emotionally detached in matters of life and death?
  3. Is the protagonist a patriot… or simply a highly trained tool in someone else’s orchestra?

Light for the Journey: Paint It with Love: The One Color That Saves Us All

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In a world that can sometimes feel like a grayscale storm, artist Marc Chagall reminds us that there’s still one color capable of bringing everything back to life—and it’s not found in a tube of paint, but in the human heart.

Despite all the troubles of our world, in my heart I have never given up on the love in which I was brought up or on man’s hope in love. In life, just as on the artist’s palette, there is but one single colour that gives meaning to life and art–the colour of love ~ Marc Chagall

Reflection:

Love isn’t a feeling we grow out of—it’s the hue we return to when all other colors fade. Chagall’s reminder is that even amid sorrow, war, or disillusionment, love still has the power to shape beauty, meaning, and connection. Let your life’s canvas be boldly touched by that color—because in the end, love is the only masterpiece that matters.

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