How are you living your life? Grab hold of it with both hands. Be grateful for this wonderful and wonder-filled gift. Discover what you love and passionately embrace it. Grab hold of life and make a difference. Enjoy your family and friends. Enjoy nature. Enjoy ever sip of coffee and bite of food. Take nothing for granted. Enjoy it all. Be grateful for it all.
The Holstee Manifesto Lifecycle Video from Holstee on Vimeo.
The following is a part of a series, sometimes serialized, sometimes spontaneous. It’s all farce. The characters are all fictitious and fun to be around. ENJOY!
LC, dressed in blue scrubs, paces back and forth across the living room. He stops at every turn to check his iPhone. Slips it back into his pants and commences walking. LC and La Flor turned my living room into an examination office. My smart TV is in my bedroom. A folding table with a white sheet is now the examination table. Life as I used to enjoy it is evaporating.
“LC, stop pacing, you’re making me dizzy,” I said.
“Use is getting dizzy? Whats about me. I’m the one doing the pacing and then the turning and then the pacing and then the turning . . .”
“Okay, continue pacing. What are you worried about?” I asked.
“How could use tell? Dis is like my beautiful, tough, and edgy woman’s first patient. She’s got special plans for Lil Carlo and I hopes they works. I tinks they will save his life.”
Save Lil Carlo’s life? Special plans? I don’t like the sound of this. “What kind of special plans does La Flor have in mind?” I ask.
Before LC can answer, cymbals crash, a cherry bomb goes off, a car backfires in front on my house. Then I hear, “Sorry about the wall, Ray. I’m here for my annual physical,” said Lil Carlo. All five feet two inches, one hundred and ten pounds, most of it in his nose and ears, walks into the living room.
Before I can say a word, Lil Carlo pats his windbreaker, “Tell the doc, I ain’t taking off my gun no matter what. I sleeps with it on. I showers with it on. I go to the can with it on. After I dump someone in the river, I go to confession with it on. So, I am not going to take it off.”
“Don’t worry about it, Lil Carlo. Use don’t have to take off use clothes for this inspection,” said LC.
“Do I has to bend over or anything like that?” said Lil Carlo a hint of fear in his eyes.
“No, that’s disgusting. The beautiful, tough, and edgy one never does anything disgusting,” beamed LC. Then he added, “Would use like a beer, glass of wine, or a shot of whiskey before use is examined?”
“I like this already. I’ll take all three if their free,” said Lil Carlo settling into the sofa.
“They is on the house because use is a milestone, not to be confused with a kidney stone. Make you self comfortable while I gets use drinks,” said LC.
A cooing voice from a bedroom, “LC let me know when Lil Carlo finishes his drinks, I’ll be out to examine him.”
Lil Carlo tossed down the shot of whiskey, drained a bottle of beer without coming up for air, swirled the wine in his mouth before sending it down his esophagus. “Not every day, burp, that I gets to be, burp, examined, burp, by eye candy, burp.”
What happened next will be written about in the Harvard Medical Journal. The Mayo Clinic will send a team to study the technique. Bill Gates will donate millions to spread the knowledge. It’s a family blog and I will keep it to the bare minimum facts. Speaking of the bare minimum.
Dr. La Flor walked into the living room with a stethoscope draped around her neck that one can only say was purchased at the Dollar Store. She was not wearing the traditional white coat, instead, she did her shopping at Fredericks of Hollywood, and was wearing a negligee.
Lil Carlo grabbed hold of his shot glass, held it straight out, the nurse practitioner, AKA LC, filled it. Lil Carlo tossed it down and held out his arm again.
Dr. La Flor sat of the sofa next to Lil Carlo. She put the plastic ends to the toy stethoscope in her ears, and placed the stethoscope on Lil Carlo’s forehead, “Your brain is working fine.”
She moved the stethoscope to Lil Carlo’s ears, “Your hearing is perfect. Why are you breathing so hard? Did you just finish working out?”
Lil Carlo attempted to speak, but, confused, he started singing, “A well’a bless my soul / What’sa wrong with me? / I’m itchin’ like a man in a fuzzy tree / My friends say I’m actin’ wild as a bug / I’m in love / I’m all shook up.*”
Dr. La Flor said, “I want to meet the lucky girl, Lil Carlo. Stand up, this is a special test I invented. Stand up.”
“My, my knees are weak, beautiful, tough, and edgy eye candy doctor,” said Lil Carlo.
“Come on, I’ll help you,” said Dr. La Flor taking hold of Lil Carlo’s hand. “Now, put your left foot in, Your left foot out, your left foot in, and shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey And turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.”
“Dats whats it’s all about?” whimpered Lil Carlo.
“Yes. That’s what it’s all about. You passed. Tell Big Carmen you got an A plus on your annual physical.
“Use give me a reason to live another year. Use is the best doc I ev ah had,” said Lil Carlo.
“I am good,” said La Flor.
“Huh?”
*Lyrics from All Shook Up lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd
What is call within your heart? Is it softly speaking to you? Is it shouting? There is a call in each of our hearts sending us on a unique mission to make our world a better place. Listen to your heart’s call, act on it, and you will astound yourself and others with what you are able to accomplish. Lewis Pugh’s deep call is to make us aware of the effects of climate change on our planet. In this YouTube video, Mr. Pugh swims in below freezing water as he becomes the first person to swim across the North Pole. It is his unique call and response that raises attention to climate change.
The following is a part of a series, sometimes serialized, sometimes spontaneous. It’s all farce. The characters are all fictitious and fun to be around. ENJOY
Amazing. A sense of euphoria! I’m shocked! Stunned silence! What happened? I’ll let La Flor tell you.
“It was simply awesome. Who makes people saints? I got to talk to her because Big Carmen has to be made a saint,” said La Flor.
“I think you have to be dead to be saint,” I said.
“That’s all wrong, Ray. Big Carmen took all the money from this weeks collections and we flew down to Houston, then to Tampa and he donated it. Every cent. He’s not even going to declare it on his income tax. Did you see LC helping distribute the pizzas we took down from Carmen’s Pizzeria? He was doing the work of seven men and four women. You know I said four women, because a woman does almost twice the work of a man and gets twice less pay. Let me hear it girls! Do I hear an Amen?”
“Why?” I asked.
“Of course your prejudice. After all he collects from the rich and gives to the needy. That’s the way it should be.”
“It may not be quite legal,” I said.
Doesn’t matter. Big Carmen inspired me. I know what I want to do with the rest of my life.”
“You do?”
“Yes! I am going to be doctor. I am going into family practice. I’ll be great. No, I’ll be awesome. I may get my own TV show.”
“It takes years of study, La Flor. You can’t be a doctor without going to medical school.”
“Says who? I know already everything I need to know and what I don’t know, I’ll have LC Google it. Think about it, Ray. I work a couple hours in the morning, have LC do the rest. I make lots of money. And, I become famous.”
“Sound like you’re going into medicine for all the right reasons,” I said.
“I seeing my first patient tomorrow,” said La Flor.
“You’re not a doctor,” I said.
“I beg to differ. I have proof,” La Flor reached into her handbag and pulled out a freshly printed business card.
Dr. La Flor
Specializing in Family Practice and Whatever Else Ails you.
“This will work!” I have to check the alcohol content of the wine she’s drinking. Then I said, “Who’s your first patient?”
“I’m giving Lil Carlo his annual physical. It’s an organization requirement. Big Carmen said I could be the family’s doctor,” La Flor said cocking her hair toward the front door.
The earth moved slightly, the a second tremor was felt from the 6.2 earthquake. Then from the hall, “Use got to do someting about the whole (yes, he said whole instead of hole) in the wall. Can I bee (yes he said bee instead of be) the second patient for an annual physique,” hollered LC.
“Come in here you physical specimen. Catch me,” said La Flor. One, two, three steps legs locked around LC’s hips, arms around his neck, and lips connecting. Maybe this could be an Olympic sport. I’ve got to think about the Alt Ego Olympics.
They untangled five minutes later. La Flor, grabbed hold of LC’s arm. “Ray, check out my nurse practitioner.”
“Huh?”
Come by tomorrow for Lil Carlo’s annual physical.
Are you ready for YOUR MOMENT? No one knows when it will happen. Or, if it will ever happen. Are your READY if and when it happens? It’s takes a heap of faith, a big dream, and a heart filled with hope knowing that if you keep on working, keep on studying, keep on improving you’ll be READY. Don’t let your moment pass by. Be ready to grab hold of it with a grip so tight nothing will shake you loose. Enjoy this YouTube video where a young singer was ready for his moment when called to the stage by Josh Groban.
“Ray, I gotta to make use an offers use can’t refuse. Use and use garage gonna come with me and we gonna fly outa town in my friend’s private jet.”
Did he mean to say entourage instead of garage? My entourage? La Flor and LC? Really? Is this a plot so Big Carmen can toss me out at 30,000 feet. I don’t want to jump even with a parachute. Can I get a friend to write a note for me and sign my mother’s name telling Big Carmen I’m sick and can’t make it?
Instead, I say, “I don’t know, Big Carmen. I’ve had plans for weeks for today. So many people will be disappointed.”
Big Carmen scratches his head, pulls on his ear lobe and scratches and adjust a place better left to your imagination. Think baseball player.
Before either of us can speak. We hear, “Well, how do I look?”
Of course, who else but La Flor. Big Carmen hustles over to La Flor, his arms spread wide for a hug. La Flor holds up her hand, “No can do, Big Carmen. LC hasn’t seen me. He’ll be here any minute with the wheels to take us to the airport.”
“Scuse me, beautiful, tough, and edgy dish that looks more tasteful than my pasta special with meatballs tonight for $4.99,” drooled Big Carmen.
What do I say to top Big Carmen? La Flor looks better than a mocha frappucinno with extra whipped cream and caramel sauce? I don’t think so. So, I say, “Tickets to a Broadway show? You look great.”
La Flor gives me a La Flor look. It’s like a cat that looks at a mouse and without moving a step, swipes her paw and sends it crashing into the wall. She said, “Is that the best you can do? You didn’t notice my hair? Mention how I make the clothes look better. Or, say anything about my sparkling eyes, warm lips, or exquisite figure. My full red lips? You need to be more like Big Carmen.” She walks over and gives Big Carmen a kiss on his cheek leaving a perfect image of her kiss.
“I’m not going wash my cheek, ev ah,” said Big Carmen.
A rifle shot. I jump. A small explosion. I jump again. “I’m home,” yelled LC.
My poor wall. My poor door. My handyman bill.
LC comes in, says, “Big Carmen, I couldn’t rent the limo from Starza. He’s all out. But he sent me to the competition.”
“How much it cost use?” said Big Carmen.
“Nothing. When I got to Limo’s Unlimited. There was a limo all gassed up and ready to go. The driver must have gone in to take a leak or something other that I don’t want to say because Ray-mo is always telling me it’s a family blog. Anyway, I say in a normal voice like I’m talking to use right now, ‘Anybody mind if I takes this limo free of charge?'”
“Anybody say no?” asked Big Carmen.
“Not a word. That means I got legal permission to take it as long as I want it. But I only want it long enough to take us to the airport. Lil Carlo is over there and he’ll take it back or dump it in the river. Whichever is closer.”
“Use got a good head on use shoulders, LC,” said Big Carmen beaming with pride.
“Well, LC? Am I invisible?” La Flor’s words melt a solid quart of ice cream into a gooey mess.
“Oh, oh!” said LC. “I am so sorry. I was excited about the limo. Can use forgive me sweet, kind, compassionate, beautiful, tough, and edgy one?”
“Are you going to surprise me with an expensive present?” said La Flor.
“My two minds are already working on it,” Maybe’s I’m going to get use three presents.
“Okay, you’re forgiven. Now, come over here so I can kiss you,” said La Flor.
“We gots a problemo, beautiful, tough, and edgy dream.”
“I love it when you talk Spanish, LC. Kiss me!”
“I needs use kiss like I needs oxygen and beer, but we gots to go before somebody mistakenly calls the coppers about the limo,” said Big Carmen.
“Huh?”
Good people surround us. Our world is filled with love. Love will win. It always does in the end. In the following YouTube video, you will feel the love a capacity crowd felt for a man with a disability singing the U.S. national anthem. Once you feel it, your faith in your brothers and sisters will be renewed.
Wondering when your turn will come? Wondering if someone will ever recognize your talent? John Legend, the famous pianist and singer gives us a two-minute lesson on hard work, commitment, and persistence. Don’t quit on your dreams. Don’t give up when it seems all you’re doing is running in place. Keep working, keep learning, keep dreaming. It is only impossible when we quit. Enjoy John Legend’s short, but powerful lesson.
“I’m here,” screams LC.
I already know he’s here. I heard the door slam against the wall. I heard a lamp fall over from the vibration.
I hear LC say, “Dare’s somethin wrong wits use door. One of the knobs is stuck in the wall. I felt my BP go into a steep rise. I’m already wondering if I should brick in the wall behind the door. Maybe a solid stainless steel sheet. A wall made of bulletproof vests. I have all kinds of options.
Then LC hollers as if he is at the top of Pike’s Peak and wants to see how far his voice will carry, “Use won. Use won beautiful, tough, edgy who knows how to play the numbers.”
What’s LC talking about, the numbers? No way, La Flor is gambling with Big Carmen and his associates. I loosely call them associates because that’s what Big Carmen calls them. I don’t want to make the mistake of saying made men, killers, knee busters, and fill in the blank.
La Flor runs in off the deck, slamming the door agains the wall, a vase falls over, water over the floor. Flowers desperately trying to sip the last bit of water into their system. Good thing, it was a plastic vase. Slamming the door is contagious. I wonder if I’m vulnerable.
Bikini, sun tan lotion and all, La Flor throws her five foot two inches, size zero four feet into LC’s waiting arms and kisses him. “You bring me glad tidings, LC?”
What is she doing, trying out for Shakespeare in the Park?
LC answers, “I bringith thee a high tide of tidings. My beautiful, tough, and edgy lady.”
“Are you two practicing for Shakespeare in the Park?”
She pulls back, wraps her legs around LC’s waist and says, “Yes, now be quiet, Ray. LC, how much did I win?”
“Big Carmen says use won nine hundred, seventy one dollars. All of its tax free. So don’t report none of it because he will deny he ever paid it. If use knows what I means.”
La flor let go of LC’s neck, slid down his body until her feet landed on the tile. She stepped back and stuck out her hand.
“Hold on. LC are you a bookie? What’s going on? Why didn’t hear about it?”
“What chu talkin bout, Ray-mo. I don’t got no books. What makes use think I’m a bookie? Do I looks like I belongs in library?” said LC.
“Don’t play coy, LC. You know what I mean. Do you take bets for Big Carmen?” I said.
“I likes to play craps, maybe poker, but I never plays coy. Is it a card game?” said LC earnestly. Use got to excuse me, I got business to attend to. LC reaches into his pocket and begins counting off one-hundred dollar bills, “One hundred, two hundred.” You get the drift.
Before La Flor can run away, I said, “You’re involved in illegal gambling. It’s not right. What did you gamble on?”
La Flor said, “What’s the temperature in San Antonio?”
I checked, “91 degrees.”
“What’s the temperature in Chicago?” she asked.
I checked, “68 degrees.”
“What’s the temperature in Phoenix?” asked La Flor.
I checked, “It’s 99 degrees.”
“The way one of the games works, Ray. You choose six numbers based on the temperature at 4 p.m. in three U.S. cities, one from the south, one from the north, and one from the west. I hit all six numbers and I only played a dollar. I have my eye on a new pair of shoes.”
“It’s illegal,” I said.
“May I remind you, your grandmother ran numbers.”
“But she was a single mom with eleven children. Cut her some slack.”
“She was doing a community service and so is Big Carmen.”
LC interrupted. “If I may. I get use drift. Use think I am collecting bets for Big Carmen. That is the furtherest thing from the furtherest thing. Big Carmen never, no how, no way does anything illegal or legal. It works like magic. Like La Flor wrote some numbers on a piece of paper with her name. She rolled it up and accidentally pressed it into Big Carmen’s hand when they hugged. Now I asks use, is that betting? I say not.”
What did LC just say? I got lost after he said, ‘If I may.’
La Flor ignored me. She said, “Big Carmen’s running a different game next week. It will be the final number of points the Cowboys, Bears, Seahawks, and Giants score in the weekend games. If you get all the numbers it’s 10,000; five, it’s a thousand; and, if you get four it’s 100. You want in? Or, are you too cheap?”
“I am not cheap.”
“Then bet a dollar.”
“No.”
“Cheap,”
“Not.”
“Cheap, cheap, cheap.”
It went on like this for four blog pages, but I deleted them so you’d have time to figure out your numbers and contact Big Carmen.
Joy is contagious. Are you a carrier? All it takes to bring joy is sharing your wonderful gift. Your magical gift, given freely to others to experience and the only reward is to see the joy on the face or faces of those you touched. I smiled throughout this YouTube video. I caught the contagious spreading of joy. I hope you will have a similar experience. Ray
