healthy relationships

Want to Live Longer? Spoiler: It’s Not Kale, It’s People (Ugh)

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Science says relationships beat kale for longevity. Bad news: people are messy, annoying, and impossible to put in a smoothie.

There is a strong relationship between healthy relationships and longevity. According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development (running for over 80 years, the longest study of its kind) found that the quality of relationships—not money, not fame—was the strongest predictor of both health and happiness in later life. People with supportive, close relationships lived longer and healthier lives. Here’s the issue for lots of people and there is no way around it. Relationships are messy. From time to time we irritate each other. We can grate on another’s nerves. We can be hurt by others. If you want to live a long life get used to getting messy. Get used to forgiving other people. Get used to living with stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable. And, get used to not always getting your way. Of course, you can go in the opposite direction, fall deeply in love with the person in the mirror and make that person the center of your universe. Problem with that is that your circle is only large enough for one ego.

😏 Snarky Points to Ponder

Next time your best friend irritates you, just whisper: “You’re literally adding years to my life.”

Think kale is the fountain of youth? Sorry, it’s Aunt Martha who chews too loudly at Thanksgiving.

Relationships mean forgiveness. Yes, even for the guy who still doesn’t use his turn signal.

Falling in love with the mirror? Cute, but your reflection won’t visit you in the hospital.

Relationships are messy, loud, and sometimes maddening—but apparently, so is living longer.

When Life Becomes a Dance You Never Want to End

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 The best dances—and relationships—are the ones where you can’t tell who’s leading.

Dancing is a great metaphor for life. It’s easy to go on the dance floor and move with the music only glancing at the person with whom you are dancing. To me, it symbolizes the unwillingness to be vulnerable and trust the other.. Two people moving independently, each doing their own thing, not necessarily in relationship to the other. When one chooses to dance where he or she is in physical contact with the other it implies a whole new level in a relationship. There is a closeness where one has to work with the other for the dance to work. It’s the same way in life. In any healthy relationship, both parties put their egos on the shelf. Their relationship works synergistically and effortlessly. Neither party knows who is leading or following. The dance goes on and on and on. Here’s hoping you’re in a relationship with the dance goes on and on and on.

Points to Ponder:

  • In your relationships, are you truly in sync or just moving side by side?
  • How does vulnerability change the way you “dance” with others in life?
  • Can you recall a time when you didn’t know who was leading, but the connection felt effortless?
  • What steps could you take to replace ego with trust in your closest relationships?
  • Is your life’s “dance” one you’d want to keep going forever?

Healthy Tips: I Love You Just the Way You Are

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People in healthy relationships encourage authentic expression. Differences aren’t weaknesses—they’re gifts. Let each other show up as they truly are.

Example: One partner loves loud, artsy fashion. The other keeps it minimalist. Instead of mocking, they admire each other’s confidence.

Healthy relationships aren’t about merging into one identity. They’re about walking side-by-side, cheering each other on, and honoring the unique spark each person brin

Healthy Tips: People in healthy relationships respect boundaries

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People in healthy relationships respect boundaries ~ Everyone needs space sometimes, and that’s okay. In loving relationships, people honor each other’s emotional and physical boundaries without guilt or pressure.

Practical Example:

“I’d like a little time to think before we finish this conversation. Can we revisit it after dinner?”

Respecting a pause can be a sign of deep love and emotional maturity.

Source: ChatGPT

Healthy Tips: Put Blaming & Accusing in Storage

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When people in healthy relationships discuss problem issues they use “I” Statements Instead of Blame

Healthy communicators take ownership of their feelings. Instead of blaming or accusing, they speak from their own experience.

Practical Example:

“I feel overwhelmed when the dishes pile up. Can we make a plan to tackle them together?”

Much better than, “You never help with the dishes!” Right?

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