When my buddy told me his wife scored NBA tickets, I expected cheers—not cold sweats. Instead of being excited about the game he was anxious. His problem? His wife scored the tickets and she wants to go with him to the game. He wants to go with a buddy. His anxiety made me think about relationships. If one is in love with the person he/she lives with, one puts that person ahead of everyone else. That’s relationship 101. It doesn’t mean we suffocate the other person or lose our own sense of identity, it means our relationship is our number one priority.
problems
Healthy Tips: Put Blaming & Accusing in Storage
When people in healthy relationships discuss problem issues they use “I” Statements Instead of Blame
Healthy communicators take ownership of their feelings. Instead of blaming or accusing, they speak from their own experience.
Practical Example:
“I feel overwhelmed when the dishes pile up. Can we make a plan to tackle them together?”
Much better than, “You never help with the dishes!” Right?
Brighten Up the Day
I’ve not encountered one person who does not have problems. It’s a good reason to cut each other some slack and to let the small issues slide. Some of the people we will meet today have the strength to deal with their problems, others are overwhelmed by the smallest of challenges. A word of encouragement and prayer go a long way in making someone’s day a lot better. The more we can make life easier for each other, the brighter the day will be for all of us..
Feel Good Tip ~ Break Your Problem Down to Manageable Pieces
There are times when problems we face seem to grow larger than our capacity to solve them. Don’t quit. Step back, break the problem down into small pieces. One piece is a lot easier to tackle than a hundred pieces. Before you know it, one piece at a time and you’ll be your problems’ master.
Thinking Out Loud ~ It’s Time to Wake Up
Set it Aside, At Least Temporarily
Thoreau writes in “Walking,” “ I am alarmed when it happens that I have walked a mile into the woods bodily, without getting there in spirit. In my afternoon walk I would fain forget all my morning occupations and my obligations to society. But it sometimes happens that I cannot easily shake off the village. The thought of some work will run in my head and I am not where my body is—I am out of my senses.” P. 740
Walking is available online and gutenberg.org under the Harvard Classics.
NOTE: I can relate to what Thoreau is saying here. If I am beset with an issue, I can carry it with me and ruminate on it throughout an entire workout at the gym. I can carry it with me when i go to church and wonder when the church service is over what the sermon was all about. And, it’s happened to me when I go for a walk. If we can become aware of our issues or problems and set them aside on a metaphoric table before we commence going on with something else we will feel much better. Pope Francis referred to this as being awake. Am I awake to what I am feeling, thinking, and doing? If I am, it changes everything. I can make a decision that is more physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy for me. Here’s hoping you can set aside your problems and challenges on your metaphoric table.
Today’s Positive Thought ~ Every Problem Carries a Gift
“Every problem in your life carries a gift inside it (Richard Bach).” No one really wants problems; unfortunately, problems happen and they frequently happen. Problems are life’s best teachers. We don’t pay tuition. We do get passing or failing grades. They don’t go away until we get it right. Next time you have a problem, ask it to teach you the lesson it has for you. Then thank it for its gift to you.
Think About It ~ We Become What We See
We become what we see. Two people looking at the same canvas come away with different perceptions. We make a personal decision on what we want to see. We make a personal decision on how we want to interpret what we see. We can see problems or we can see opportunities. Both problems and opportunities are painted on the canvas. The one who sees only problems cowers in a hidden place believing the world is a dangerous place. The one who sees opportunities embraces life and grabs hold of as many opportunities as he/she can hold. No fear. Seek opportunities. Always look for rainbows, they’re there.
Today’s Inspiration ~ A New Way of Thinking
I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.
Today’s Good Word ~ Thinking
I’ve heard the phrase, “What were you thinking?” We’ve heard phrases such as these from parents, teachers, and others. I’ve asked myself a similar question, “What was I thinking?” Thinking implies we have some forethought on the consequences of our actions. Another way of looking at the word thinking, is to see it in relationship to real events that immediately impact us. Here’s a simple example. Let’s say you decide to replace the roll of toilet paper and put it on the roller with the paper falling out the back side. Your partner discovers this a bit later and confronts you, “Why did you put the toilet paper on backwards, you know I like it falling off the front.” If you’re reacting, you may say, “What difference does it matter?” If you’re using forethought (thinking), you may say, “I forgot. Can you explain to me again, why you like it that way?” Thinking before reacting stops many a problem before it takes root.
