There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience. ~ Archibald MacLeish
lessons
Grief Has No Time Frame: Reflections from a Heartfelt Conversation
Listen to my Podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing, Episode 112 on your favorite podcasting app or click here for Episode 112
In Episode 112 of “Journey from Grief to Healing,” we delve into a poignant personal experience that transformed my understanding of grief. Twenty years ago, while engrossed in my work at Starbucks, an unexpected visit from my elderly church friend, Nick, led to a profound conversation about loss and sorrow. Nick, mourning the anniversary of his wife Milly’s death, shared his enduring pain and the ongoing connection he felt with her, despite her absence. His raw, heartfelt revelations about grief challenged my initial impatience and taught me that sorrow has no timeline.
Nick’s words and presence illuminated the importance of listening over offering advice, highlighting the value of simply being there for someone in their time of need. His story and the lessons it carried stayed with me, influencing my perspective on the human experience of suffering and healing. This episode reflects on the wisdom found in unexpected places and the transformative power of empathy and presence.
Additionally, we explore the works of poets Edna St. Vincent Millay and Matsuo Basho, who eloquently express the nature of grief and acceptance. Their verses underscore the idea that suffering, like rain, is an intrinsic part of life, shaping us in ways that foster growth and resilience. Join us as we navigate these insights and continue our journey from grief to healing.
Today’s Quote: It is a Teacher
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. ~ Khalil Gibran
Today’s Poem: A Lesson to Youth by Robert Anderson
A Lesson to Youth
Robert Anderson
Tho’ Youth thy path be strewn with flow’rs,
And mirth leads on the rosy hours;
Soon manhood proves the past a dream,
And joys, once priz’d, now sorrows seem.
O Youth! beware of pleasure’s wile!
For danger lurks beneath her smile:
‘Tis wise, in time, her haunts to shun;
Who woos the nymph, is soon undone!
Be to a brother’s foibles blind;
Promote whatever serves mankind;
The naked clothe–the hungry feed–
And bow to what’s by Heav’n decreed!
Let reason rule–each joy despise,
That honour, wealth, and health destroys:
Let virtue all thy thoughts engage;
Then, fearless, may’st thou welcome age!
Inspiring Quote: It’s Our Choice
Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. ~ James Russell Lowell
Episode 35: The Suffering Experienced While Grieving Changes Us
In Episode 35, of my podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing, I talk about the why questions that continually play in my mind without providing an answer. M and I talk about how suffering changed me and taught me lessons I could not have learned any other way.
You can listen to Episode 35 on your favorite podcasting app or click here for Episode 35
Don’t forget to hit the subscribe button to receive notifications of future episodes.
Lesson 1 ~ A Poem by Julie Hill Alger
Lesson 1
Julie Hill Alger
At least I’ve learned this much:
Life doesn’t have to be
all poetry and roses. Life
can be bus rides, gritty sidewalks,
electric bills, dishwashing,
chapped lips, dull stubby pencils
with the erasers chewed off,
cheap radios played too loud,
the rank smell of stale coffee
yet still glow
with the inner fire of an opal,
still taste like honey.
Thinking Out Loud ~ Work Hard and Never Give Up
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Aesop’s Fable, The Mouse and the Bull. Aesop’s Fables is available for free download here.
The Fable
“A Bull gave chase to a Mouse which had bitten him in the nose:
but the Mouse was too quick for him and slipped into a hole in a
wall. The Bull charged furiously into the wall again and again
until he was tired out, and sank down on the ground exhausted with
his efforts. When all was quiet, the Mouse darted out and bit him
again. Beside himself with rage he started to his feet, but by that
time the Mouse was back in his hole again, and he could do nothing
but bellow and fume in helpless anger. Presently he heard a shrill
little voice say from inside the wall, “You big fellows don’t
always have it your own way, you see: sometimes we little ones come
off best.”
Note: The lesson is clear. Never quit. Never give up. I didn’t graduate near the top of my high school class. I didn’t graduate from college with honors – I was happy to graduate, LOL. I learned to keep my head down and keep working. I discovered the harder I worked the more success I had. Success didn’t come easy, but it came. I discovered I could outwork those with more innate talent and it made all the difference. Like the mouse in the fable, we may not have been born with all the gifts that some have, but with wisdom and hard work, we’ll succeed. Never quit, never give up. Your best days are ahead.
Thinking Out Loud ~ Listen to the Voice of Wisdom
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Aesop’s Fable, The Wolf and the Sheep. Aesop’s Fables is available for free download here.
The Fable
“A Wolf was worried and badly bitten by dogs, and lay a long time
for dead. By and by he began to revive, and, feeling very hungry,
called out to a passing Sheep and said, “Would you kindly bring me
some water from the stream close by? I can manage about meat, if
only I could get something to drink.” But this Sheep was no fool.
“I can quite understand”, said he, “that if I brought you the
water, you would have no difficulty about the meat.”
Note: Most people I know have been taken in by the cunning words of someone who was not as kind as they purported to be. It hurts when we discover that someone we trusted, betrayed us. It’s happened to me. I tend to trust. My wife was more careful. I recall two specific incidence where she told me not to trust someone. I asked her why. She’d simply say, ‘His eyes don’t match his smile.’ She was right. I didn’t take her advice the first time and carry the scars. The second time I listened, and it made all the difference. You may have to work with folks whom you can’t trust, but keep your guard up, they’re very good at deception.
Thinking Out Loud ~ A Lesson from Aesop’s Fables
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Aesop’s Fable, The Tortoise and the Eagle. Aesop’s Fables is available for free download here.
The Fable
“A Tortoise, discontented with his lowly life, and envious of the
birds he saw disporting themselves in the air, begged an Eagle to
teach him to fly. The Eagle protested that it was idle for him to
try, as nature had not provided him with wings; but the Tortoise
pressed him with entreaties and promises of treasure, insisting
that it could only be a question of learning the craft of the air.
So at length the Eagle consented to do the best he could for him,
and picked him up in his talons. Soaring with him to a great height
in the sky he then let him go, and the wretched Tortoise fell
headlong and was dashed to pieces on a rock.”
Note: Knowing ones’ self is tough to do. Aristotle framed it this way, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” When we know ourselves we can set boundaries. We can say, “I am this.” Or, “I am not this.” When we know ourselves it becomes easier to make decisions. We make decisions based on a solid foundation. For me, I knew I was born to love my wife and family. Everything else either supported that or I let it go. My wife is no longer here, but I have no regrets because I knew what I was born to do.
