letting go

Things as Beautiful ~ Poem by Lao Tzu

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The Timeless Wisdom of Letting Go: Lao Tzu’s Lesson on Beauty and Balance

We spend much of life labeling things—good or bad, beautiful or ugly. Lao Tzu reminds us that these labels are illusions of the divided mind. True peace lies not in judgment but in acceptance.

Things as Beautiful

Lao Tzu

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good, 
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other. 
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn’t possess,
acts but doesn’t expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

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Reflection:

Lao Tzu’s Things as Beautiful reveals the delicate balance that shapes all existence. Every “beautiful” thing owes its meaning to what we call “ugly,” just as light cannot exist without shadow. The Master’s wisdom lies in seeing through these illusions and recognizing that everything simply is. This poem invites us to stop resisting the natural flow of life—to act without attachment, to love without control, and to create without clinging to outcomes. When we stop labeling experiences and instead allow them to unfold, we open ourselves to harmony with the world. Letting go doesn’t mean indifference; it means moving in rhythm with life rather than against it.

Question:

How might your life feel lighter if you stopped labeling things as good or bad—and simply allowed them to be?

Cut Each Other Some Slack: The Secret to Happier Days

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One bad experience doesn’t define a person—or a restaurant. Letting go of small disappointments opens the door to life’s better moments.

Have you ever gone out for a meal with a friend to one of your favorite restaurants and left thinking, “what a dud and waste of money?” I have. And, I let it bother me. I wrote that restaurant off even though it had been my favorite for some time. I didn’t take into account that maybe somebody was having a bad day. I was tempted to go online and write a review that sounded like I was an avenging angel. I’m glad I didn’t. I eventually went back to the restaurant and everything returned to normal. My memories of that bad experience receded into the background. I’m glad I let the negative experience slide. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have had the good experiences I’ve had since that Time. I think it’s important that we cut each other some slack.

We all have bad days. Sometimes the service is slow, the meal is off, or a friend’s words sting more than intended. But when we cling to those small moments of disappointment, we build invisible walls that keep joy out. Cutting each other some slack isn’t about ignoring mistakes—it’s about recognizing our shared humanity. We all stumble. We all say things we wish we hadn’t. When we give others grace, we end up freeing ourselves too. Life smooths out when we stop keeping score and start keeping perspective.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” — Plato

Question for Readers:

When was the last time you gave someone (or yourself) a little grace—and how did it change your day?

Deep Breaths, Not Drama: Why Small Stuff Isn’t Worth It

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Life is too short to waste on tiny squabbles—save your energy for things that matter, like tacos on Tuesdays.

Most things are not a big deal. Lots of folks like to make trivial things into a big deal. When we make every small thing into a big deal we get stuck in a defensive mode. Our only response is to escalate a non issue into a serious affront. I’ve witnessed this in people close to me, famous politicians, and any other category you can imagine. Most things really are not a big deal. A few deep breaths, a walk around the neighborhood, and a slice of hot pizza will chill you out.

Here’s the thing—most of us aren’t defending honor in a medieval duel; we’re arguing over who left the wet towel on the bathroom floor. And yet, suddenly, we’re ready to unsheathe our verbal swords as if the fate of the kingdom depends on it. Imagine if we replaced every unnecessary outburst with a slice of pizza. World peace? Maybe not. But at least fewer households would fall in battle over thermostat settings.

The Ferry, the Train, and the Fight That Didn’t Need to Happen

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It wasn’t really about the ferry or the train—it was about the need to be right. When we dig in, what do we lose besides the view?

I was chatting with a gym buddy today. The conversation worked its way around to a trip he and his wife are planning to take to Italy. The problem he’s dealing with is that he and his wife can’t agree on how l to get to Naples from Salerno. His wife says the best way is by ferry from Salerno to Naples. My buddy says, the ferry ride is too long. The train will get there much quicker. The two of them are stuck in their positions. One on the ferry and the other on a train. They can’t agree on what to do. Now the trip is questionable. I didn’t say it, but one thought danced in my mind: Does it really matter? What does either party have to lose by acquiescing to the other party? So many relationship problems happen because one or both parties get stuck in a fixed position. A good question to ask oneself before becoming stuck: Does it really matter?

Points to Ponder:

  • How often do we defend a position simply because it’s ours?
  • Would surrendering this decision build trust instead of resentment?
  • What’s more important: being right, or being at peace with someone you love?
  • Can a small compromise unlock a greater joy?
  • When you ask yourself, “Does it really matter?”—what truth bubbles up?

Let It Go or Let It Hurt: The Hidden Cost of Control

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Trying to change others may feel righteous—but it’s a fast track to disappointment. Release the grip, and peace finds its way back home.

When we cease trying to control others or stop persisting others change we instantly increase the level of our happiness. Our internal peaceful meter now moves from the red zone into the green zone. We’re not going to change people. People do things that disappoint us. We get betrayed. We have disappointments. Perhaps the biggest disappointments come from within our family. Especially those close to us. Things like this happen. There’s no one that’s immune to them. If we want to argue with them and point fingers accusing them, we may feel a moment of righteousness, but underlying our sense of righteousness is a deeper sense of discontentment and disquiet. I think it comes down to a couple of choices: 1) Do I want to always be right and unhappy? 2) Do I want to continue pushing the control button and feed my unhappiness.

💭 Points to Ponder:

  1. What would your life feel like if you released the need to be right in every conversation?
  2. Can peace truly exist while you’re still wrestling with someone else’s choices?
  3. How has trying to change someone ever led to lasting joy—or has it only created more tension?
  4. What if acceptance, not control, is your true path to inner freedom?
  5. Are you willing to give up the illusion of power to gain real serenity?

Today’s Quote: Happiness Ahead: Making Space for the Surprises Life Has in Store

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“I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I’m making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.”― Elizabeth Gilbert


What if the future isn’t something to fear—but something to make space for? Elizabeth Gilbert’s quote reminds us that joy is a choice, and the unknown may just be where the magic begins.


Elizabeth Gilbert’s words are a gentle rebellion against despair. In a world that often teaches us to brace for disappointment, she dares us to soften—to believe that joy is not only possible, but worth preparing for. By choosing happiness and leaving room for wonder, we open ourselves to life’s most unexpected blessings. It’s not naïveté—it’s courageous hope.

Grieving, It’s Hard to Let Go

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Struggling to let go? You’re not alone. It’s hard. Here’s some help.

Overcoming Grief by Letting Go – Understanding the Emotional Impact of Clinging to Past Memories

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Listen to my Podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing, Episode 127 on your favorite podcasting app or click here for Episode 127

Welcome to Episode 127 of the Journey from Grief to Healing Podcast! In this episode, we explore the powerful metaphor of a dog’s treasured rubber bone and how it mirrors our own struggles with holding onto past hurts and painful memories.

Join us as we delve into the emotional and physical impact of clinging to our “rubber bones” and how it can hinder our healing process. Drawing inspiration from a touching encounter with my neighbor’s dog, Sailor, and the poignant country song “Let Go of the Stone” by John Anderson, we discuss the importance of letting go to find peace and emotional freedom.

Discover how recognizing and releasing our grip on past pains can lead to profound healing and growth. We’ll also reflect on the experiences of a widowed friend who struggles with daily memorials and how this relates to the broader journey of grief recovery.

Tune in to learn practical strategies for letting go and find hope in the message that, despite the challenges, good things are on the horizon. Whether you’re deep in grief or simply looking for a way to lighten your emotional load, this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement for your healing journey.

Today’s Poem: Happiness by John Kenyon

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Happiness

John Kenyon

A face I saw, whose outward calm
  All inward peace might well express;
  And whose, I asked, that brow of balm?
  Her name, they said, was Happiness.
  And what those fillet-bands, I cried,
  The which in either hand she bears?
  Just such round Cupid’s eyes are tied,
  And such eternal Justice wears.
  “Wouldst Thou be happy,” ’twas replied,
    “O’er coming hours must one be cast;
    And one (I knew the truth, and sighed)
    Must shroud the memory of the past.”

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Today’s Thought: There are Times of Letting Go

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A friend sent me a short video of a mother Robin feeding her babies. It won’t be long and the baby robins will be taking their first solo flight. They’ll get a bit more training on hunting for insects and worms then they’re on their own. There always comes a time pf letting go in life. As much as we want to hold on to people or things there comes a time to let go. When our children grow and leave home we won’t stop caring for them and being parents, but they’re on their own. They’ll be knocked down and have to find the courage to rise and go on. As long as they know they have someone who loves them, they’ll get up, shake it off and get going again.

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