“Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them
NOTE: Think of the ways in which your life would change if you applied the optimism principles set forth by Christian Larsen. It all begins in how we see ourself. Are you able to love yourself with all of your flaws? Are you able to forgive yourself for past failures and disappointments? When we can love ourself unconditionally, we free ourself to love others and work to bring out the best in them. Become cognizant of your self talk. When you become aware of self talk that is criticizing or condemning, stop and replace the negative self talk with complimentary talk. Sure, we all make mistakes, instead of saying, “that was dumb” we can say, “What can I learn from that.” Or, one I like to use, “Thanks for the lesson.”
2023 is quickly coming to a close. How has the year been for you? It’s been a good year for me. Here are 6 things that went well for me.
Optimism is going to be the topic for the next couple of weeks. Optimism is a great way to close out the year and begin 2024 with confidence that it is going to the be year yet.
Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.
“Appreciative inquiry begins with three fundamental questions. One, can you describe a high point experience in your organization, a time when you were most alive and engaged. Two, without being modest what is it that you most valuable yourself your work and your organization? Three, what are the core factors that give life to your organization without which the organization would cease to exist?” P. 23
Note: We can apply these questions to our daily lives They take our attention away from the dark spot on the wall and allow us to focus on the good that exists. Have you, for example, let a single negative comment from a family member, friend, or colleague ruin your day? I think it’s happened everyone. I know it’s happened to me. While we give that one comment an inordinate amount of power there are many other god things happening simultaneously. When appreciative inquiry asks us to describe high point experiences when we felt most alive and engaged that not only happens at work, but it happens in our daily lives outside of work. And it happens every day. Tonight, when you’re sitting at dinner, why not ask each other to describe a high point experience that happened during the day when each of you felt totally engaged. I think that happens to each of us every single day. I’m writing this on Sunday morning after I returned home from mass. On the way into the church, I met a friend, and we had a most wonderful conversation. I left the conversation feeling uplifted. That was a high point experience. When we begin to think of our lives this way, our lives take on a new hue of optimism, hope, and affirmation.
Attending a grieving group helped me. The first group I attended didn’t work out. But M pushed me to try another group and it was very beneficial. Listen to Episode 5 on my Podcast: Journey from Grief to Healing
https://raycalabrese.podbean.com/e/my-grieving-group-experience/
Here’s what ChatGPT said:
Being optimistic and maintaining a positive outlook on life can have a significant impact on physical health.
In summary, being optimistic can have various positive effects on physical health by reducing stress, boosting the immune system, promoting healthy behaviors, and contributing to overall well-being.
Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.
A fundamental assumption underlying appreciative inquiry is that the language one uses creates one’s reality. Therefore, the emotional meaning of words such as dysfunctional, codependent, and stressed out effect once thinking and acting. This deficit based vocabulary can inhibit the vision for a better and brighter future and limit growth. 17.
Note: I received an email from a friend this morning. My friend used words such as “no escape, no victory, and doomed.” He was using dificit thinking. These words can only exacerbate the stress my friend feels from his work situation. I know his situation and don’t see it the way he sees it. A change in his language would change his attitude toward the challenges he faces. We can easily become stuck with this pattern of thinking. It is counterproductive and puts us in a fight or flight position. If we ask ourselves, “What is happening here? What are the positive alternatives to what is happening here? What opportunities exists in this context? We begin to generate positive alternatives. The more positive questions we ask, the more constructive our language becomes. Instead of building barriers to protect ourselves, we discover ways to work with others to construct a new reality. We’re never condemned to what is. We have the power within ourselves to create a new and more positive reality. What are you waiting for?
Learning to Appreciate. A look at appreciative inquiry. Excerpts are taken from, Appreciative Inquiry Handbook (2003) by David Cooperrider, Diana Whitney, and Jacqueline Stravros.
Appreciate (v.) To value.; To recognize the best in people of the world around us.; affirm past and present strengths, successes, and potentials, to perceive those things that give life, Health., vitality, excellence. Inquire: To explore and discover. To ask questions. To be open to seeing new potential and possibilities. p.1
Note: How often do we appreciate others or ourselves? How often do we reflect on our journey and affirm the strength we had to overcome difficult times and challenges? We are culturally trained to be critical, to find fault with others and ourselves. When we choose to change our focus and inquire by asking different questions we discover different answers. Try asking questions that draw out data describing the best in those around you. It’s something to think about. In future posts I’ll describe the kinds of questions you can ask. Today, look at the people near you with an openness to seeing positive attributes they have that may be hidden or overlooked and let them know you appreciate them.
Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Cervantes work, Don Quixote.
“He did not care to put off any longer the execution of his design urged on to it by the thought of all the world was losing by his delay, seeing what wrongs he intended to right, grievances to redress, injustices to repair, abuses to remove, and duties to discharge.”― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote
Note: Have you had a great dream? The dream of a fool? Did someone accuse you of being a Don Quixote? If you have, congratulations to you. You had the courage to follow your dream. What appears to be foolish to others is real to dreamers. I imagine the conspiracy theorists of the 15th century probably said Columbus’s discovery of American didn’t happen. It was fabricated. People who dare to dream and to follow their dream regardless of the shouts of the naysayers are the people who make a difference. Do you have a great dream? Grasp hold of it, pull it tightly to you, toss what you need in your backpack and head off in pursuit of it. We need you.
Let me but live my life from year to year,
With forward face and unreluctant soul;
Not hurrying to, nor turning from the goal;
Not mourning for the things that disappear
In the dim past, nor holding back in fear
From what the future veils; but with a whole
And happy heart, that pays its toll
To Youth and Age, and travels on with cheer.
So let the way wind up the hill or down,
O’er rough or smooth, the journey will be joy:
Still seeking what I sought when but a boy,
New friendship, high adventure, and a crown,
My heart will keep the courage of the quest,
And hope the road’s last turn will be the best.
