Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle for where we’re going. There’s something ahead worth fighting for. ~ Neil Young
I like this quote by Neil Young. It’s easy to get stuck in a complaining, feeling powerless rut. If we change the question we’re asking ourselves from “What’s wrong?” to “What can I do to make things better?” Everthing changes. What can you do today make our world a bit better?
I read an online article yesterday that was headlined, The Most Important Question To Ask Yourself if You Want to be Happy.” I wanted to know what that question was. I clicked on the link and it took me to the article. I was not interested in all the filler before the author got to the question, so I scanned the article looking for the question that was going to make me happier. I scrolled over paragraphs and past ads until I found it about half way through the article. The question the author suggested we ask ourselves before we begin an endeavor is, “Will this make me happy?” That’s simple enough. At first I thought it was simplistic, the more I thought about it, I realized it was profound. Today, for example, I’m off to the DMV to renew my license. My appointment is mid morning. I was thinking I could hustle to the gym, get my workout in and then slide into the DMV with at least 15 minutes to spare. I asked myself the following question, “Will getting your workout in make you happier?” My answer was, “It will stress me out.” I’ll give my body a day off today.” I am already feeling more relaxed. Try asking yourself the question or a variation of it, it may help you to feel happier or less stressed.
A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth.
A fun conversation I like to have with friends is to ask the following question, “If you could have lunch with any person in the world who that be? The followup question is, Why did you choose this person?” The answers tell you a lot about the person answering the question. Who did you choose? Why did you choose this person? What did it tell you about yourself? I can think of three people I’d like to have lunch with: Lady Gaga, Jerry Seinfeld, and Jim Gaffigan.
The Question: What are the three most important things you love about yourself? When you have your answer, write them on a card. Review them periodically. Keep an eye out to see how they play out in action.
Three days a week I practice balancing on one leg then on the other leg for 30 seconds. I repeat this balancing exercise three times with each leg. I’ve read where practicing balancing is good for our core and brain. It makes me think about my life. An important question is, “Is my life in balance?” A follow up question is, “If I am out of balance, where is my life out of balance?” When our lives are not in balance, we become stressed. We can only stay out of balance so long before we topple over. When we’re in balance we’re able to adapt to the organic process of living. Dial back on the things that are keeping you off balance. Place a greater emphasis on the important things that have been set aside.
What am I taking for granted? Taking things for granted is part of the human condition. When we’re healthy we don’t think about our health (even when doctors urge us to make our health a priority). When we face a health issue, we move health up to a top priority. It’s the same way with our relationships. When we’re in a relationship we often take it for granted that our partner will always be there, or that the relationship will continue to thrive. When our relationship dissolves, we find ourselves bewildered and begin to question why it happened. Health and relationships are only two of many issues we tend to take for granted. Is it time to examine the important parts of your life and determine if you’re taking them for granted? You may decide it’s time to renew and refresh these areas by giving them more attention.
What if you asked yourself, “What am I passionate about?” How would you answer that question? When you think about this question, try to block out thoughts of complying with what other people think or what appears to be popular. Discover your inner passion. It’s inside you and waiting for you to discover it. When you discover it, flame its fire and turn it into a roaring blaze.
What if you didn’t ask “How was school?” or “How was work?” Instead, you said, “Tell me about something good that happened to you at school (or work) today?” You’ll get a totally different response. You won’t get the shoulder shrug and “it was okay.” You’ll probably get a look that questions your sanity. LOL If you don’t get an answer, ask again, “C’mon, something good happened today and I want to hear all about it.” You are sending two messages, one, you’re deeply interested in what happened. And, two, you’re willing to listen and and ask follow up question to get a clearer picture of the event. The person sharing will feel good because he/she will be recalling something good in his/her life.
