regrets

The Pain of Things Left Unsaid

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Unspoken words don’t disappear—they echo in the heart as regret.

“Much unhappiness has come from things left unsaid.” Leo Tolstoy

I have an acquaintance who a few years back, lost his father. He shared with me how he rarely connected with his father because of his work demands. My acquaintance took his father’s death hard. When I occasionally connect with him he reminiscences about his childhood and his youthful relationship with his father. In between all of his spoken lines I recognize he is trying to find a way to say the things that he left unsaid to his father. He’s not unusual. So often we take the people close to us for granted until it’s too late. My acquaintance is filled with regrets regarding his relationship with his father. Let those you love know how you feel about them. You’ll find yourself living a life without regrets and filling with pleasant memories.

Have you ever wished you had said something to a loved one before it was too late? What would you say now if given the chance?

Put it On the Shelf

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Putting impulsive actions on the shelf is a good thing. Thoughts will pass in time. Anger will ebb. Bad decisions will slowly give way to thoughtful actions. The everyday stuff we find ourselves caught in is much like the weather. Things, events, and circumstances are always in constant state of flux. If we recognize the emotional churning within us, get busy with alternative actions, the focus is taken away from any action that in the end will do us more harm than good. The emotion drains from the potential action. We can go forward not worrying about an action we regret.

Episode 57: Grieving – Letting Go of the Guilt and Recrimination

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In Episode 57 of my podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing I talk about how important it is to live our life in such a way as to have no regrets, it doesn’t stop the pain associated with grieving, but it allows us to free ourselves from guilt and recrimination.

You can listen to Episode 57 on your favorite podcasting app or click here for Episode 57.

Don’t forget to hit the subscribe button to receive notifications of future episodes.

Today’s Inspiring Quote: A Recipe for Living

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Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Mark Twain

Thinking Out Loud ~ Living a Life Without Regrets

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Victor Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning, in speaking of responsibility, “Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now. . . . Such a precept confronts him with life’s finiteness, as well as the finality of what he makes out of both his life and himself.” P. 112

NOTE: I’ve met many people who live with regrets wishing they had done things differently. An old Texas rancher told me, “Ray, wish in one hand and poop in (he other (he didn’t use the word poop, but you get his meaning) and see what you get first.” When we live in the moment, we have the opportunity to, as Frankl says, act as if we were living a second time and as if the first time we acted as wrongly as we are about to act now. By following Frankl’s advice we will live a life without regrets.

Think About It ~ Living Without Regrets

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“What good is regret? It brings back nothing. What we have lost is irretrievable (Khaled Hosseini).” When we live our lives by doing good, being responsible, not closing our eyes to injustice, we begin to live a life with no regrets. As an adult, I called my mom and dad every day. I couldn’t visit often because of the distance between us, but I stayed in daily contact. I made sure I told them I loved them each day. At times it was an inconvenience, but I made the call. When they died, I knew I did my best to show them I honored and loved them. I had no regrets and no wishes about something I should have done.

Something to Think About

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There are moments in our lives when we look back and think, “I wish I had done it differently.” Unfortunately, none of us have twenty-twenty vision into the future. Our hindsight is much better. I think it’s better to drop hindsight and any reminiscing about what I could have or should have done. It’s over. What’s done is done. It’s better to wave goodbye, take what you’ve learned from the situation and move on. Life happens now and our hopes await for us. 

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