Feeling blue during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re broken. In this opening episode of Beating the Holiday Blues, Dr. Ray Calabrese explores why sadness often rises during the season—and why that’s completely human. Through music, poetry, and psychology, this episode offers reassurance, permission, and gentle hope for anyone feeling emotionally out of step with holiday cheer.
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Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don’t leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don’t leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you’ll have gone so far
I’ll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Betrayal in a relationship can have significant effects on the health of the betrayed person, both mentally and physically. Here are two key ways it can impact their health:
Betrayal can deeply impact a person’s well-being, making it important to seek support and find healthy coping mechanisms.
Don’t be sad, don’t be angry, if life deceives you! Submit to your grief – your time for joy will come, believe me. ~ Alexander Pushkin
In many cases, sadness is a normal human reaction to different life changes and events, but there are some habits that can help with this. “If you find yourself feeling a bit down, a great thing to do is something kind for another person,” explains Vanessa. “When we do kind things for others, it actually activates the reward system in our own brain. It releases the reward neuron dopamine. If we’re doing something for someone else, then it also takes our mind off our own worries as well.”
The more we move out of ourselves toward others, the more feelings of self-pity, sadness, and depression leave us. Instead of dwelling on our problems when we engage with others to brighten their day grace happens, our day becomes brighter as well.
Sadness is a normal emotion that all humans experience. When you’re sad, you can usually trace the cause to something going on in your life or maybe a negative memory from the past, says Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D., a psychologist in Boulder, Colorado. Sometimes, you can also feel sad for no apparent reason. But you can still function relatively normally in your life: seeing friends, fulfilling obligations, taking care of yourself, and so on. Another way to think about it: Sadness is like weather, says Jo Eckler, Psy.D., a psychologist in Austin, Texas. “It tends to come and go, and it can lift quickly if something positive happens,” she explains. In other words, you can snap out of it—sort of like a rain cloud moved aside by the sun.
Depression, on the other hand, lingers like a season, Eckler says. “Depression moves in and stays for a while, most of the day, every day, for weeks at a time,” she says. It can affect your mood, your physical health, and the way you perceive just about everything. Rather than an emotional state, depression is a health condition. Signs of depression include feeling achy or tired, difficulty focusing, loss of interest in socializing or hobbies, and changes in sleep or appetite. And it doesn’t look the same for everyone. “You might find yourself not hungry at all or wanting to eat everything in sight,” Eckler explains. “You might have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or you might sleep for hours and hours at a time.”
Solitude
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth
Must borrow its mirth,
It has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound
To a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure
Of all your pleasure,
But they do not want your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all;
There are none to decline
Your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.
Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by;
Succeed and give,
And it helps you live,
But it cannot help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train;
But one by one
We must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
