One way to handle stress is to write things down. While recording what you’re stressed about is one approach, another is jotting down what you’re grateful for. Gratitude may help relieve stress and anxiety by focusing your thoughts on what’s positive in your life.
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Stress Hack: Light a Candle
Burning a scented candle may help reduce your feelings of stress and anxiety. Some scents are especially soothing. Using scents to treat your mood is called aromatherapy. Several studies show that aromatherapy can decrease anxiety and improve sleep. Here are some of the most calming scents:
- Lavender
- Rose
- Vetiver
- Bergamot
- Roman chamomile
- Neroli
- Frankincense
- Sandalwood
- Ylang ylang
- Orange or orange blossom
- Geranium
Stress Hack: Focus on the Now
Returning your focus to the present will help you accept and let go of what you cannot control. It will also help you realize that you can’t change the past, and that the future hasn’t happened yet, so it’s a waste of time to keep thinking about them. (This doesn’t mean that you are unaware of what happened in the past or what is about to happen in the future.) Try taking a deep breath and asking yourself how you are feeling right now.
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Stress Hack: Use a Mantra
A mantra is just a simple phrase or word that you repeat to calm your mind. Research has shown that repeating a mantra reduces activity in the part of your brain that is responsible for self-judgment and reflection. This is the part of the brain that spends so much time rehashing the past and worrying about the future. You can use any word, sound, or saying you want. You could try something like, “Om,” “Life is good,” or “Everything is OK.” Repeat your phrase over and over, focusing your thoughts only on your mantra. If your mind wanders, return to your mantra. You can practice this almost anytime, even going around the supermarket or on your commute home from work.
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Stress Hack: #4 of 4 Tips to Reduce Stress
Face Your Fear Regularly
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If your fear is something like being eaten by a shark or run over by a speeding car, this may sound unreasonable. Don’t jump into your local aquarium’s shark tank or in front of a speeding car. What I mean by “facing” your fear is to look at images or fear-inducing representations of what scares you as often as you can. Pin an image of your fear on your vision board. Again, this may seem counterintuitive since the purpose of a vision board is to see the things you want for yourself in your future, and you probably don’t want your greatest fear to be part of it. But that’s exactly why you should have a visual representation of any fear that’s inhibiting you on your vision board. By looking at that visual representation of your fear often, you will see and feel it gradually lose its potency. That’s the powerful concept of habituation at work. So stare at the space it holds on your vision board often until the only feeling it elicits is boredom. Once you see it can’t scare you, take it down. Then start looking at the reminders you actually want on that vision board that make you happy. And now that you’re not scared anymore, go get that life.
Longevity Tip: Chill Out
Be less neurotic. It may work for Woody Allen, who infuses his worries with a healthy dose of humor, but the rest of us neurotics may want to find a new way to deal with stress. “We have a new study coming out that shows that centenarians tend not to internalize things or dwell on their troubles,” says Perls. “They are great at rolling with the punches.” If this inborn trait is hard to overcome, find better ways to manage when you’re stressed: Yoga, exercise, meditation, tai chi, or just deep breathing for a few moments are all good. Ruminating, eating chips in front of the TV, binge drinking? Bad, very bad.
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Stress Hack: #3 of 4 Tips to Reduce Stress
Netflix and Chill
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While the NSFW connotation of this phrase may also afford a good distraction from anxiety, my suggestion is less racy. Netflix binge-watching has become my new favorite pastime and consequently I have a bunch of plot lines and clever dialogue to reflect upon. Sometimes when I’m triggered and not near my TV, I do just that. I think about the more memorable scenes of a particular series and fantasize about certain characters getting their due comeuppance. (I’m talking to you, Frank Underwood!) Your TV affords an escape during real-time viewing, but it’s also a good escape plan even when you’re away from it and feeling anxious
Stress Hack: Quieting the Mind
Use cognitive distancing.
Our mind usually worries about things it is convinced are true but, most of the time, are actually not true. You can balance your mind’s tendency to predict the worst outcome by coming up with positive alternative scenarios. For instance, your spouse seems distant and is sending out a lot of emails. You decide he must be having an affair. An alternative scenario: He is working extra hard on a project. Analyze what’s most likely to happen. Most of the time, the worst-case scenario your brain comes up with is not the most likely one.
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Stress Hack: #1 of 4 Tips to Reduce Stress
Use Common Sense
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As in the five senses. One thing I really like to do when triggered in public is try to locate a nearby bakery and go inside to get outside of my head. The aromas of baked goods are incredibly comforting and trigger hunger so my focus gets redirected to something pleasant. Another trick is to head into any nearby Crate & Barrel. I love furniture browsing and Crate & Barrel is a browser’s paradise. I could spend hours in one. Sure, I walk out of there with mild depression over all the furnishings I can’t afford to buy and arrange in my perfectly appointed home that I don’t have, but at least I feel calmer. Music is another good distraction technique and there’s ample evidence indicating listening to music has a calming effect on both mind and body. So if I have my headphones handy, I plug them in and sail away to those Islands in the Stream.
Stress Hack: Decide What’s Really Happening
Fear about one thing in your life can spill over into other parts of your life. Try to decide whether your fears have anything to do with the experience at hand.
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